


If Looks Could Kill

by houseofmemoriess



Category: GOT7
Genre: 2jae are adorable, Breathplay, M/M, Praise Kink, ok theres smut now so im updating the tags, producer jinyoung, theres some uhhh, underground rapper mark, you know general stuff lololol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-01-10 12:54:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12299655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/houseofmemoriess/pseuds/houseofmemoriess
Summary: Mark is getting to know the underground rap scene when he stumbles upon a producer that might be more than he bargained for





	1. new beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> basically I wanted to write a fuckboy jinyoung fic and so that's what happened...kind of. I always add too much fluff to my fics im sorry ! this is will probably only be a few chapters long :)

“So,” Youngjae pauses, looking down at his coffee, and Mark thinks that he’ll finally get to know what the younger had been squirming in his seat about since they got there. “I’m seeing someone.”

Ah, there it is.

“Already?” Mark replies, leaning against the back of his chair. He had been expecting this. “Weren’t you seeing that last guy like a month ago?”

Youngjae rolls his eyes and glances out the window. Under his breath, Mark hears him mutter, “Two months ago, but whatever.”

“Yeah, and I was the one who had to pick up ice cream for you at 10am because you wouldn’t get out of bed after he dumped you.”

That made the younger wince, “This one isn’t like that.”

Frowning, Mark saw how he had been a little harsh and said, “Forgive me for being a little skeptical, you just always pick bad guys.”

Youngjae had a type, that was pretty obvious. They all looked great in leather jackets and they all stole his heart, until they dumped in the worst way possible. Mark still remembers the sticky note break up. He didn’t even believe Youngjae until he was sent a picture of it. ‘its not working out’ was all it said, Youngjae found it after he woke up alone on his bedside table. That one had required two pints of ice cream and a lot more pints of beer. 

“Well anyways, I really like him and I want you to meet him,” the younger suggested, his bright smile almost covering up the anxiousness in his eyes. Mark almost never approved of his best friend’s boyfriends but since Youngjae seemed so adamant, he thought he would at least entertain the idea.

“Already?” was all he said, sipping his iced coffee through the straw. He was faking innocent, Mark knew Youngjae had started seeing someone a few weeks ago but had been waiting for the younger to bring it up on his own.

Nodding, Youngjae’s smile seeming to be growing by the second, “We’ve been dating for 3 weeks now. Almost a month.”

Mark’s only reply was the quirk of his eyebrow, feigning surprise again. He wondered how long this one would last.

“He’s actually an underground rapper and he invited me to hang out with his friends and I figured since you rapped and were looking to get into the scene…,” Youngjae finally caught his eye and then said, “I thought maybe you’d want to come.”

The older had moved from the other side of the city a month ago and had thought it would probably be a good idea to start making friends in the area, but had been lazy about actually doing it. Where he was from, he was one of the better rappers in the area and definitely wanted to see what sort of talent they had out here. 

He sighed, rolling the idea around on his tongue. Mark had to hand it to him, this was a pretty good incentive to meet Youngjae’s new boyfriend. 

“Fine, but if he’s wearing a leather jacket, I swear to god Youngjae…”

The younger beamed and brought his mug up to his lips, and this time it was Mark’s turn to roll his eyes. 

 

Mark found himself walking down an alley the next night and texting his well-meaning, but directionally challenged friend. Youngjae said that he would meet him there but his directions on how to actually get to wherever “there” was were getting on Mark’s nerves. What was “turn right next to the purple thing” supposed to even mean?

Up ahead, he saw a guy in all black with his hood up walking towards him. Mark’s instincts were to panic and walk the other way but about halfway to him, the guy stopped and turned towards a door that Mark swore wasn’t there 10 seconds ago. The guy took off his hood and unveiled messy, yet stylish black hair that complimented his sharp jaw line perfectly. He must have noticed someone staring because he glanced over to where Mark was standing. 

If Mark wasn’t already paralyzed from the fear that he was about to get mugged, he would be turned frozen by the icy but inviting stare that the stranger shot him. 

“Looking for something?” The guy said, his voice smooth and his smirk playful.

‘You’ was on the tip of Mark’s tongue before he stammered, “Um, I was looking for this club…”

“76?” and Mark nodded, deciding that 76 was probably what Youngjae meant when he said 67. That would make a lot of sense as to why nothing was coming up on google. 

The guy flashed him a smile and nodded towards the door, “It’s over here.”

Mark felt a little guilty at thinking that he would probably have followed this guy whether or not it was where he was supposed to be going. Something about him just made Mark feel so drawn to him. 

But he didn’t get the chance to introduce himself because as soon as they entered the main room Youngjae was in front of him, dragging some guy who was definitely wearing a leather jacket behind him. Mark snorted but it was covered up with Youngjae’s loud voice, “You came! I was beginning to think you wouldn’t!”

The brunette shook his head and jokingly said, “No your directions just suck.”

Youngjae glared back at him before his eyes flashed as if he just remembered the guy next to him, “Oh! This is Jaebum!”

Jaebum was tall with dark hair styled up. Mark thought that his eyes would have been scary if not for the two twin moles on his eyelid. He could feel his best friend watching his assessment of his boyfriend as Jaebum said, “You’re Mark, right? Youngjae’s told me all about you.”

Before he could help it, Mark’s eyes narrowed, “Did he?”

He watched as Jaebum wrapped an arm around Youngjae and saw how his eyes warmed looking towards the younger. “Yeah, said you rapped and made me watch some of your videos.”

Mark wanted to glare at his best friend but couldn’t find it in him when he saw how dreamily Youngjae was staring at his boyfriend. “And I have to admit, they were really good. ”

Adjusting his pastel pink cap nervously at the sudden compliment, Mark replied, “Oh, thanks…”

When he looked back up Jaebum was smiling while wiggling his lip piercing with his tongue, “Well let me show you around.”

Mark and Youngjae followed him as he started introducing them to the other guys there. As it turned out, some of the people that Mark had met before were here, so that was comforting. 

They were talking with an over enthusiastic blonde when Jaebum said, “And that’s pretty much it. I would introduce you to Jinyoung but, well, he’s a little busy right now.”

His eyes glanced over to one of the couches where that guy from before was. Mark felt himself frown as he saw how Jinyoung was half on top of some guy, kissing down his neck. 

“When isn’t Jinyoung busy?” The blonde, Jackson if Mark remembered correctly, laughed.

Jaebum nodded to that, smiling. Disappointment settled in Mark’s gut but he tried to push it away. 

 

Towards the end of the night, Mark found himself getting drinks for him and Youngjae. He was barely paying attention when a dark figure slipped in next to him, leaning on the counter with ease. 

“So you know Jaebum?” Hearing that smooth voice from before had Mark’s head lifting a little too quickly for his liking. 

When he met Jinyoung’s gaze, he almost wished he hadn’t. The other’s lips were red, probably from kissing that other guy and his eyes were hooded, looking almost bored. 

“Kind of,” Mark replied and then added, “I’m friends with Youngjae.”

“Ah,” came his short response as Jinyoung looked away, sipping his drink. Something tugged at Mark’s insides, wishing Jinyoung would look at him again. He wanted those sharp yet alluring eyes back on him, which made him frown. “That’s Jaebum’s new boyfriend, right?”

He still wasn’t looking at him but Mark saw how his eyes shifted over to where Youngjae and Jaebum were cuddled on the couch. 

“Yeah,” was all he said, catching himself staring at Jinyoung’s side profile. 

At the short response, Jinyoung looked back at him inquisitively. Mark could have sworn he saw those dark brown eyes give him a once over, or maybe that was just wishful thinking.

“What about you? Where’s your boyfriend?” Jinyoung’s voice dropped an octave, becoming deeper and drawing Mark in farther.

The brunette gripped his drink tighter, trying to not show how much the other affected him. Composing himself, or at least that was what he was aiming for, he said, “Nowhere, don’t have one.”

Instead of looking away like before, Jinyoung locked eyes with him and said, “Interesting.”

It was a statement but it somehow sounded like an invitation. Before Mark could be sure, the other had walked away, leaving him all alone. Shaking his head, the rapper grabbed the drinks and headed back to Youngjae and Jaebum.

When he sat down, he felt his best friend’s stare. He looked up to see Youngjae’s annoying smile and Jaebum’s smirk.

“What?” Mark grumbled.

His best friend’s grin got even wider and amusement sparkled in his eyes. Knowing Youngjae too well, Mark groaned and rolled his eyes. “He’s not even my type, Jae.”

Youngjae threw his hands up, “I didn’t say anything!”

After Mark threw him a dirty look, Youngjae said, “But for the record, he so is.”

The brunette just groaned again, looking to Jaebum for a little help but he was just smiling. 

“And,” the younger said pointedly. “I’m sure Jaebum could give you his number…”

Mark just rolled his eyes and looked away.

 

Earlier in the week, Youngjae told him about a “jam sesh” as he called it that Jaebum was having at 76. It always made Mark smile hearing Youngjae, an accountant, talk about music. But he said he would go anyways. He had been wondering about the other rapper’s styles and this would be a perfect way to make connections. 

But now that he was there, he was feeling out of place. Everyone seemed to know everyone and even though Jaebum made sure to introduce him, Mark still felt awkward. They were all talking about a track that the others were featuring on and the brunette was still trying to remember who was who when Jackson asked, “Mark, what are you working on right now?”

He felt them all turn to hear his answer and suddenly Mark’s collar felt too tight. Fumbling with the long sleeves of his sweater, Mark replied, “Me and a friend were writing something new yesterday, it was getting kind of tropical.”

“Tropical?” One of them replied, his bunny teeth showing. Mark was trying to remember his name. It was something American like his, but it slipped his mind. “Man I love that shit, Jinyoung always writes the sickest tropical beats.” 

The brunette blinked, “Jinyoung writes?”

“Yep,” Jaebum said. “He produces our songs sometimes, he’s amazing.”

“More than amazing, if you know what I’m saying,” Jackson joked and the others laughed. They all seemed to get exactly what Jackson was implying. Did Jinyoung really sleep around that much?

 

Later in the night, Mark found himself sitting next to Youngjae on one of the couches. Jaebum and the others were on the stage, setting something up. They had told him about it ten minutes earlier, but the brunette hadn’t really been paying attention. Instead his eyes were wandering somewhere else.

“I see what you’re doing,” Youngjae said close to his ear, making him jump. The younger laughed at Mark’s reaction.

Drumming his fingers on his knee, Mark glanced over to his best friend as if he totally didn’t care and asked, “What exactly am I doing?”

The fake nonchalantness made Youngjae’s smile wider, knowing he was right. “You’re looking for Jinyoung.”

The tapping on his knee stop as Mark froze. Still not wanting to give in, he asked coyly, “Am I?”

“You haven’t stopped looking around since we got here and every time someone new walks in you check to see who it is,” Youngjae replied dryly, as if it was obvious. But then his smile turned more mischievous, “I thought you didn’t like guys like that.”

“Guys like what?”

But before Youngjae could answer, someone sat down across from them. Mark tried to casually look over to see who it was but ended up locking eyes with someone. Jinyoung. Those dark eyes looked playful before turning to the guy next to him. Mark didn’t recognize him and realized they had probably come together. 

That probably turned into a must have quickly as Jinyoung leaned in to whisper something into the guy’s ear with an arm around his shoulder and a hand placed on his thigh. It was a clear sign of possession and Mark’s stomach dropped. 

“Guys like that,” Youngjae said, his voice less teasing now. Mark could feel his friend’s worrying stare but the brunette tried to play it off. “You’re right, I don’t like fuck boys.”

The lights dimmed and Mark could hear Jaebum’s voice over the PA, saying something about freestyling but he wasn’t really listening. He went to take another sip of his beer, but realized his bottle was empty. 

Turning to his friend, the rapper grabbed the near empty drink out of Youngjae’s hand and said, “Let me grab you another one.”

Youngjae smiled and nodded before turning back to the stage. Once he got back the others around him were cheering and Mark looked up to see Jackson rapping. He wasn’t fast and the lyrics weren’t anything special but it didn’t seem to matter. 

The blonde’s voice was deep and he swayed to the rhythm, getting lost in his own flow. Mark wished he could look that relaxed on stage. For him, he always over compensated his nerves by trying to look tougher than he actually was.

At some point Jaebum came to sit between Mark and Youngjae, but the brunette must have been too immersed in watching the other rappers to notice. 

“Jooheon’s great, right?” He heard someone say. There was a pause and he looked over to see that Jaebum was talking to him.

Mark nodded, feeling dumb for not replying sooner. “I like his voice, he seems playful but powerful at the sametime.”

Jaebum smiled and said, “You know, you could go up there if you wanted.”

He hesitated and then heard Jooheon say, “Who’s next?”

Part of him wanted to, but after hearing the other guys rap he got a little nervous. Mark was confident in his abilities and loved to play shows with his friends, but those friends weren’t here now. 

“Mark is!” Youngjae said, pointing to him with a big smile. And Mark cursed his best friend, glaring at him as he got up. But Youngjae’s smile never wavered, he knew exactly what he was doing. 

When he got up onto the small stage, he took the microphone nervously, “Um, I didn’t prepare anything so…”

It was Jackson who answered, getting up on stage with him, “It’s cool man, I’ll beatbox, just freestyle.”

His smile reminded him a lot of Youngjae’s, which comforted him. Jackson’s beat was good, on the slower side which left Mark with a lot of possibilities but still upbeat. 

Mark lowered his cap over his eyes and let inspiration fall over him. He felt the words leave his lips before even thinking about them. Before he knew it, he was rapping about the city and how it never sleeps, the sky and whatever else popped into his head. It was all new to him, nothing was pre-written but it somehow made sense and fit well together. He felt good. He felt confident.

Once he got into a comfortable flow, he let himself look out and his eyes immediately found Youngjae’s. His friend was cheering him on, while his boyfriend was looking at him impressively, but not surprised. Mark knew Youngjae had him listen to his stuff, so Jaebum already knew his style.

Before looking back down again, Mark chanced a look in Jinyoung’s direction, half expecting to see him with his tongue down that other guy’s throat. But to his surprise, their eyes met. 

It sent chills down his spine that Jinyoung was watching him. But not just watching him, there was a certain amount of intensity in his eyes. He couldn’t tell what Jinyoung was thinking, his expression guarded. Mark wanted to decypher those eyes but he almost caught himself slipping and went back to paying attention to his rap. 

Once he finished, Jackson gave him a pat on the back, “That was great, bro, seriously. If you ever wanted to collab, hit me up.”

Mark felt pride coursing through his veins as he heard similar words from others as he made his way back to his seat. He was about to sit down when his throat reminded him of how thirsty he was. 

As soon as he got to the bar, Mark felt a familiar presence next to him. Instead of happily greeting him, like Jinyoung probably expected and wanted, Mark instead pretended like he wasn’t there.

“Hey,” Jinyoung started, his voice alluring.

Mark didn’t even look at him, too scared he would fall under his spell again. Guys like Jinyoung always knew exactly how to get under guys like Mark’s skin and this time Mark was determined not to fall for it. He didn’t want to be just another guy that Jinyoung played with. If what he’s been seeing and the way that the other guys talk about him were anything to go by, Jinyoung seemed to go from one guy to the next and Mark wasn’t about to fall into his trap.

“Hi,” He replied simply.

“You were really good up there,” Jinyoung complemented. 

Even though he tried his best not to, Mark looked up and smiled. After all the other compliments he received, this one had the most effect on him and he hated it. He hated knowing that Jinyoung had already wormed himself under his skin. And it wasn’t even that great of a compliment. 

“Thanks, it was fun,” Came his own short reply. It might have been longer if Jinyoung hadn’t caught his eye again, his slow glance over to look at the rapper out of the corner of his eye. It was only a millisecond and maybe Jinyoung didn’t even know what he was doing but Mark did. He could feel himself melting into putty under the producer’s strong gaze.

“You know, I was working on a track recently but it just didn’t sound right,” He said looking down, tapping his fingers against the glass of his drink. “But hearing you now, I think you would be great on it.”

He looked back up, flashing Mark a smile. 

“Is that so?” Mark said, feigning disinterest.

“Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe work on it together.”

The rapper had every intention to say no, but before he knew it, the words slipped out, “Sure.”

It killed him to see the victorious grin that spread across Jinyoung’s lips. It was subtle but Mark couldn’t bring himself to regret saying yes.

“I’m free tomorrow if you are.”

“Tomorrow’s fine.”

They exchanged contact information and Mark turned around to start walking back to the couch when he saw Youngjae grinning at him.

“So I guess you didn’t need Jaebum’s help at all,” He said with a grin.

The rapper covered up his smile by drinking his water. “Shut up. It’s just to work on a song.”

Next to them, Jaebum had overheard their conversation and said, “Yeah, just a song, sure.”

Mark gawked. Not even Jaebum gave him the benefit of the doubt. “Come on, it’s not like that.”

He himself tried to believe that as he saw Jinyoung leading that boy from before to the bathroom. Jinyoung’s intentions were pretty clear but maybe a song was just a song. Maybe it wouldn’t turn out the way his friends were insinuating it would. 

“What would be so bad about that anyways?” Youngjae said, bringing Mark out of his own thoughts.

“What do you mean?”

His best friend rolled his eyes at him, “You’re clearly interested in him, Mark. And yeah he seems like a bit of a player but so what? You haven’t gotten laid in months.”

Mark spit out his drink, “Youngjae!”

But the younger just continued to grin at him as he handed Mark napkins to clean himself up. What a thoughtful friend, Mark sarcastically thought. 

“I can’t believe you of all people are saying so what, especially when I’ve seen what guys like him have done to you,” Mark retorted.

He saw the way Jaebum frowned and pulled the youngest closer to him and it made him smile a little bit. In the short time that Mark has known Jaebum, he wasn’t like Mark had expected him to be at all. He clearly cared about Youngjae and Mark felt bad for assuming the worst.

“But that’s different,” Youngjae said and Mark didn’t have the strength to argue against him. They’ve talked about the younger’s bad habits many times. “All I’m saying is that I think you should go for it. What’s the worst that could happen? You write a song together? And probably fuck?”

Sighing, Mark thought there was some truth to his friend’s words. But he shook his head, “I don’t even know if Jinyoung’s into me, he could just actually want to write a song.”

That was when Jaebum interjected, “Oh no, he’s definitely into you.”

The brunette couldn’t help but blush at that comment. Maybe he would just see where tomorrow takes him.


	2. what's this?

The next day, Mark got a text from Jinyoung with the address of his studio. He smiled way too much at the simple message and it made Mark wonder if he should even go at all, worried he would do something he would regret. But then he heard Youngjae’s voice in his head saying what’s the worst that could happen and Mark decided to go after all.

Luckily, he didn’t have as hard of a time finding Jinyoung’s studio as he did with 76. Jinyoung opened the door after the first knock and revealed himself looking a little different than Mark had come to expect him. His hair was lying flat over his forehead, with just a simple white shirt and jeans. The casual look was unexpected but what really surprised Mark were the cute round glasses that Jinyoung was wearing. 

He smiled and said, “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

Mark saw his expression change into amusement, “They help me see.”

“Wild concept.” 

For a second Mark wondered if he was being too cheeky but then he saw Jinyoung smiling as he lead him to the desk where he had all of his equipment. 

The producer replied back with, “I only really wear them when I have to read something.”

“You should wear them more often, they’re cute,” Mark heard himself saying. He panicked, realizing what he had just admitted and pretended to cough. He didn’t miss how Jinyoung’s cute smile got wider.

Jinyoung gestured for Mark to take a seat while he grabbed something. It gave Mark the time to look around. He swiveled his chair to see the neat, bright area. There was a keyboard next to the desk and a couch on the other side of the room. Jinyoung had a couple monitors set up with speakers next to them and a microphone near the end of the desk.

For some reason, the rapper was expecting to see a dark room, with maybe neon lights or something supposedly aesthetic. A lot of his friends back home had their studios set up like that. But it looked like Jinyoung preferred something different. It was refreshing.

When Jinyoung came back, he played the song he had been talking about before. It was bit surprising as Mark half expected that the song was just a lie to get him over here, but Jinyoung seemed serious about it.

“I had another friend singing the chorus but I just couldn’t figure out what to do with the verses, but once I heard you rap it clicked,” The producer said, looking back to him. This time his eyes were playful but not in the way that Mark had come to expect them. There was an underlying serious note to them instead of being alluring. “So, what do you think?”

“I like it,” Mark nodded and then began looking through the backpack he brought, pulling out a notebook. “Actually, I think I have some lyrics that could fit too.”

He handed them over and Jinyoung took them, reading carefully. The producer crossed his legs and sat back in his chair. It was weird seeing the other like this, Mark thought. He wasn’t used to this side of Jinyoung. All he had ever seen was the seductive side of him. It made him wonder what other sides of Jinyoung there were.

“Mm,” the producer hummed. “I see what you mean, they do fit the vibe I was going for.”

Mark frowned, to him that sounded more like a rejection than anything else. But then he noticed Jinyoung grab a pen and start writing. Getting curious, Mark moved his chair closer so he could look over Jinyoung’s shoulder. 

He was crossing some lines out and rewording the lyrics. Usually Mark would be pissed if someone did that but surprisingly he actually agreed with most of the annotations. Most being the key word. 

“No, I don’t think you should change that,” Mark said, their shoulders touching as he got close enough to point to the word he was referring to. “It holds the whole line together, see?”

He rapped the verse and Jinyoung watched him, nodding as if he agreed. Mark then pointed to another line that Jinyoung changed and said, “But I think that this goes well with that.” 

The other hummed in agreement and Mark felt warm as he realized that he could actually feel the hum. He didn’t know that they were sitting that close. But Jinyoung either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care. 

After a few more edits, Jinyoung slide the notebook over and said, “Rap this part for me.”

Mark followed his instructions, keeping his eyes on the page and trying to not focus on the way Jinyoung was watching him. Every now and then he would make little corrections like “say this word a little slower” or “make your voice lower”. It made him feel special that Jinyoung was paying such close attention to him. 

Once he was done, he braved a glance over and saw that Jinyoung was nodding to himself. 

“I think it’s going to work,” He said confidently, flashing Mark a smile.

The rapper internally groaned, it was like Jinyoung was trying to make his heart melt on purpose. 

“But I want to rework the bridge a bit,” Jinyoung said. “We could record it today, if you’d like?”

“Yeah sure,” Mark replied. Maybe he smiled too wide or maybe he looked too excited because Jinyoung said, “You know, you’re much cuter when you’re not trying to avoid me.”

 

Over the next hour or so, the two wrote the bridge together. Jinyoung kept having Mark rap certain lines and changing how he sung them but Mark didn’t mind. It was weird how much more comfortable he felt around Jinyoung in this setting. The night before, he was practically shaking just trying to keep the producer off his mind. 

Jinyoung had just asked if Mark was ready to record when the brunette’s stomach grumbled. 

“Are you hungry?” The other said and for a second Mark thought he was suggesting something with the way that Jinyoung’s voice lowered but then he said, “We could grab lunch.”

The rapper touched his stomach and realized that he had forgotten breakfast that morning. He chewed on his lip, noticing how Jinyoung was watching him and said, “I’d be down for a milkshake.”

Jinyoung laughed as he got up and Mark followed, “A milkshake? Promise me you’ll eat more than that.”

“Fine, a burger too.”

The producer held the door open for him to walk through and teased, “No fries?”

Mark grinned and said, “Oh, all the fries.”

 

After ordering, the two sat by the window. Mark was wondering how Jinyoung was going to act now that they weren’t in a music setting. But so far, his demeanor hadn’t changed at all. 

“You know, when I first met you at 76 I thought there was no way this guy was a rapper,” Mark started, dipping his fry in ketchup. Across from him Jinyoung was already grinning. “But then I found out you were a producer and it all made sense.”

“What? You don’t think I can rap?” Mark’s head snapped up thinking that maybe he was mistaken and had just offended Jinyoung but then he saw the glimmer in the other’s eyes. “I’m just kidding, I’m a shit rapper.”

“You’ve rapped before?” The brunette asked curiously. 

When pink rose to Jinyoung’s cheeks, Mark thought he was seeing things. 

“It was a dare,” He explained, not quite making eye contact.

Mark raised his eyebrows as he sipped his milkshake, wanting to know more.

“Jaebum made me rap with him on this song and it was like years ago and terrible,” The producer said, looking like he wanted to move on from this topic. But Mark wasn’t going to let him go that easily.

“Can I hear it? Or was it like a one time thing?” 

Jinyoung groaned and then upon seeing that Mark was still staring at him expectantly, he confessed, “We made a music video and everything.”

When Mark saw the other grabbing for his phone, looking like he was searching for something he started grinning. Jinyoung slid his phone over the table and Mark watched with greedy eyes. 

Not even a second went by before Mark was laughing. “You wore studded chokers?”

Jinyoung clicked his tongue, looking away. The blush was more prominent now.

“Wait is that Jaebum?” Mark asked. “He had colored highlights? Oh man, I gotta show Youngjae this.”

The producer scratched at his neck, looking vulnerable for the first time. “Just wait, it gets worse.” 

And it truly did. It wasn’t long before Mark had his hand over his mouth, trying to stop himself from laughing harder. “What was that? Shake it for me? Oh my god who wrote these lyrics?”

He was enjoying himself, never having thought he would see Jinyoung nor Jaebum like this. But then Jinyoung suddenly took the phone back, “Alright, alright I think you’ve seen enough.”

Across the table, Mark was still laughing, “Well now I know why you don’t rap.”

Jinyoung stuck his tongue out at him and Mark said, “What are you, like 4 years old?”

“24 actually,” said the producer.

“You’re older than me?” Mark asked. He knew they were around the same age but he wasn’t sure exactly how old Jinyoung was.

“I guess I am,” Jinyoung said, dipping his fry into Mark’s milkshake.

“Did you just-”

“Yep.”

The producer looked very satisfied with himself as he ate his fry, smirking at Mark’s shocked expression. Mark then took a sip from Jinyoung’s soda and the older’s eyes widened.

“An eye for an eye,” The younger said smugly.

“What are you, like 4 years old?” Jinyoung teased back.

“Nope, 23 actually,” Mark said with a wide grin.

Jinyoung rolled his eyes but still smiled and Mark couldn’t believe that he felt comfortable enough around the other that he was actually teasing him. It all felt so surreal. 

They went back to the studio and started recording the song. It helped that the chorus was already recorded so that Mark could have a base of what type of style he was matching. It took hours of Jinyoung giving corrections and Mark trying to take them to heart. 

At one point, Mark was getting frustrated that he couldn’t rap this one phrase the way that Jinyoung wanted him to. 

“Mark,” The producer said gently.

But he just shook his head, still facing the microphone. “Let me go again, I can do it this time.”

“Mark,” He tried again, but was ignored.

Jinyoung sighed and turned the younger’s chair so that he was facing him. Mark had barely noticed what had happened until he was face to face with the other, Jinyoung’s hand on his knee. His eyes widened, but all Jinyoung said was, “It’s okay, you know? If you can’t do it, we can try again later. Don’t beat yourself up about it.”

The younger took a deep breath, looking down. He wasn’t mad at Jinyoung, instead he was mad at himself. What he was asking for wasn’t hard, Mark knew that he could do it but the fact that he wasn’t made him upset with himself. 

He started to feel his eyes getting glossier and he cursed his frustration tears. It wasn’t something he could help, Mark always cried when he was angry but he got worried that Jinyoung would take it the wrong way. The other didn’t know him well enough to know the difference.

“Hey, hey,” He heard Jinyoung say, his voice soft. Mark had been looking away and didn’t know until the last second that Jinyoung was reaching out to cup his cheek. “Don’t cry, it’s okay.”

Mark felt Jinyoung’s delicate thumb swipe over his cheek, trying to catch the tears as they fell. As good as Jinyoung’s touch felt, the rapper felt ashamed. He wiped away his own tears with his sleeve and said, “I’m sorry, I cry when I’m frustrated. I’m not that upset, I just can’t help it, I’m sorry.”

When he looked back, Mark realized how close Jinyoung’s face was to his own. He must have leaned in when he started wiping away Mark’s tears. The producer was smiling now, “It’s okay, you don’t have to apologize.”

Mark bit his lip and saw how Jinyoung’s eyes traveled down to look at his lips. At first, Mark thought he was only looking because movement attracts the eye, and maybe that’s all it was but then Jinyoung didn’t look away. The younger started to feel self conscious, not because he didn’t like Jinyoung looking at him but because he wasn’t sure what to do. 

It would be too easy to lean forward and kiss him but Jinyoung hadn’t tried to seduce him this whole day so Mark didn’t want to assume anything. But then those beautiful dark eyes traveled up to meet his and Mark knew he was done for as Jinyoung leaned in and connected their lips.

If Mark had imagined kissing Jinyoung before, which he definitely hadn’t, this wasn’t the type of kiss he was expecting. With the image he had in his head of Jinyoung before this day, Mark was expecting it to be rough and needy but this kiss was soft and sweet. The younger kissed back almost immediately, delayed only in pure shock that this was actually happening. 

But then that wasn’t enough, Mark wanted to be closer. He placed his hand at the back of the other’s neck and it was as if Jinyoung could sense his thoughts as their kiss deepened. Jinyoung used the hand already cupping Mark’s cheek to bring him closer and damn, Mark thought, Jinyoung was good kisser. 

He didn’t know when it happened but Mark found himself straddling Jinyoung’s lap with one hand on his shoulder and the other holding his jaw. The producer bit his bottom lip and then used his tongue to soothe it over and Mark grinned down at him until he kissed him harder than before. 

Mark could feel Jinyoung’s hand slowly travel up his thigh and he didn’t mind much and it wasn’t until he felt Jinyoung’s other hand slip under his waistband that he pulled away. He put both of his hands on the other’s shoulders and Jinyoung’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Mark stammered, suddenly feeling shy. “Not yet.”

“Mm,” The producer hummed in response, bringing his hand up to touch Mark’s cheek. The young leaned into the touch, closing his eyes and Jinyoung said, “That’s okay, I can wait.”

Mark slowly opened his eyes and witnessed the sincerity written across the other’s expression. He had thought that Jinyoung would either try to pressure him or just be done with him all together. Guys like him usually didn’t stick around if no one was putting out. But Jinyoung did the opposite. He took one of Mark’s hands off his shoulder and laced their fingers together. 

“I hope this doesn’t mean that I can’t kiss you anymore,” His voice was almost...tender? Mark decided. 

Shaking his head, Mark said, “No, you can still kiss me.”

A small smile appeared and Jinyoung leaned in with all the tenderness that his voice suggested. He was the one to pull back this time, but not too far. 

“Did you want to finish the song?” He asked.

In all honesty, Mark just wanted to cuddle, all of this softness making him lethargic, but he became weary. He wasn’t really sure what was happening between them. He thought that he could see the concern etching itself onto Jinyoung’s features but then Mark’s phone buzzed, forgotten on the desk.

He leaned back to reach it and saw it was Youngjae, inviting him to 76 again that night. Mark hesitated, weighing his options of leaving Jinyoung here or hanging out with his best friend but then Jinyoung grabbed for his own phone.

“Jaebum says they’re all going to 76 tonight, did you want to go?” He asked. 

Mark smiled and squeezed Jinyoung’s hand, relieved at the lack of decision making he had to do now. “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

Jinyoung pulled him in for another kiss before saying, “Okay, we can finish the song another day.”

As they left his studio, Jinyoung intertwined their hands again making Mark blush. Out of the corner of his eye, the rapper saw the older’s smug smile. 

 

But Mark thought that was going to be it in terms of outward displays of affection. But it wasn’t and he still wasn’t sure what what happening between them as they walked into the club still holding hands. Passing by Youngjae and Jaebum to sit in Jinyoung’s usual spot instead of theirs was a bit embarrassing, especially when he saw their unsurprised smirks. 

Mark’s cheeks burned as he was pulled down by Jinyoung to sit next to him. He didn’t want to meet Youngjae’s eyes as he knew exactly what his best friend would say. Mark didn’t know when he officially fell into Jinyoung’s trap or if there was even a trap to begin with, but he intended to just enjoy what was happening now. 

He felt Jinyoung put an arm around his shoulder, still holding his hand and it felt good. He didn’t want to spend the whole night worrying or wondering so instead he put his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder. 

“Are you thirsty?” He heard Jinyoung say above him and Mark nodded. The producer kissed his hair and got up to grab them drinks. 

Before he had time to process anything, Youngjae asked, “You haven’t fucked yet, have you?”

Mark shook his head.

Across from him, Jaebum smiled in understanding, “I didn’t think so. He sure is trying though.”

This made Mark frown, “It was going in that direction, but I stopped it and he said he would wait.”

It was Jaebum who frowned this time, “That’s odd, he isn’t one to wait for anyone.”

The brunette wanted to ponder what the other rapper meant but Jinyoung had returned with their drinks. “I know it’s not a milkshake, but I hope it will suffice.”

Mark laughed, bringing his hand to cover up his mouth and he saw something he hadn’t before. Jinyoung smiled but this time the skin around his eyes creased. The rapper wondered if any of his smiles before had been real because the one in front of him felt so genuine. He reached up to touch the tiny wrinkles and Jinyoung paused for a second. Mark saw something flash in his eyes before the older laughed and said, “You like them?”

“They’re so cute, I’ve never seen anyone’s eyes do that,” Mark said honestly. 

The producer smiled again, but his eyes didn’t do the same thing, “I guess I’m one of a kind then.”

 

It wasn’t long before Mark’s legs were over Jinyoung’s and the older had him pulled in close. Jinyoung had sneaked a couple kisses here and there but he always made sure they were brief and for that Mark was thankful. 

“No, there’s no way,” Mark protested, his lips moving into a pout. “Jurassic World is not better than Jurassic Park.”

“Oh come on,” Jinyoung said, playing with the rapper’s hand absentmindedly. “Chris Pratt!”

Mark shook his head, “So what? Jurassic Park had Jeff Goldblum.”

“Oh?” Jinyoung’s eyebrow raised. “I didn’t know you were into old guys.”

The brunette rolled his eyes and playfully hit Jinyoung’s chest, “Well I’m into to you and you’re older than me.” 

That same emotion flashed in Jinyoung’s eyes again before the producer caught Mark’s hand again, “Only by a year!”

Mark pretended to be grossed out, pushing Jinyoung away and saying, “Ew, that’s way too old for me.”

Grinning, Jinyoung pulled him back and laughed, “Oh shut up.”

“Make me.”

And so he did. Mark was starting to get used to Jinyoung’s soft kisses. He liked feeling the producer’s warm arms around him making him feel safe. So many thoughts flooded in, telling him this was dangerous, that he shouldn’t be getting attached to someone like him, but with Jinyoung’s lips slowly moving against his, Mark didn’t care.

 

“It’s getting late,” Mark mentioned. He didn’t know exactly how late but he knew they had been there for a while. 

“Did you want to go home?” Jinyoung asked, brushing a strand of hair behind the brunette’s ear.

He nodded and the older said, “I’ll walk you home.”

Mark’s eyes widened, “It’s only a 15 minute walk, you don’t have to do that.”

The producer smiled and said, “I want to, and plus you shouldn’t walk alone at this hour”

Feeling himself blush, Mark said, “Okay.” 

In the back of his head, Mark wondered if this was just an excuse to get into his pants. If the whole time at 76 was just wooing him like Jaebum had suggested. He shivered at the thought.

Jinyoung must have noticed because he squeezed Mark’s hand and asked, “Are you cold? I could give you my jacket?”

But Mark waved him off. 

When they got to his doorstep of his building, Jinyoung stopped and faced him. “Thanks for writing that song with me, I hope we can finish it soon.”

“Me too,” Was all Mark could muster. The thoughts he promised himself not to listen to were too loud now. 

“Maybe tomorrow if you’re not too busy?” Jinyoung sounded hopeful but all Mark could think was that he was just hopeful of getting laid. 

Even then, Mark accepted the offer. 

Jinyoung kissed him on the cheek and said, “Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He turned to leave and Mark was shocked. That was it? No enticing stares? No glances at the door, waiting to be invited in? No type of persuasion at all? The rapper was left wanting more. Maybe that was point but right now he didn’t think about that. He just wanted.

His eyes followed Jinyoung as he started to walk away and found himself saying, “I don’t get a proper goodbye kiss?”

The producer smiled back at him and said, “I thought you wanted to take it slow?”

Mark frowned, “But you’ve been kissing me all day.”

His smile got bigger and those cute eye creases appeared again as he closed the gap between them, giving Mark a better kiss. As Jinyoung's lips left his, Jinyoung whispered, “Goodnight, Mark.” 

And the rapper had never smiled wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm do you think mark should trust him? let me know~
> 
> also im @peachjinyounq on twitter if you wanted to see me crying over how beautiful jinyoung is and be my friend ♡♡♡


	3. interpretation

The next day Mark found himself at Jinyoung’s studio again. The older had kissed him when he walked in and Mark savoured the sweetness of it. He had been so unsure of Jinyoung’s intentions but when the producer didn’t attempt to initiate anything last night, Mark had gained a little bit of confidence that maybe this could be a real thing. 

Once Mark sat down in his chair, Jinyoung pulled him closer so that their chairs were right up against each other. He watched as the older absentmindedly placed a hand on his knee as he pulled up the song they were working on yesterday. 

Mark had expected all the touchiness at first because he had witnessed firsthand how Jinyoung got guys under his spell but once Mark had pulled away from this being a purely sexual relationship, a part of him thought that the touchiness wouldn’t continue. All the touches and kisses without sexual intention made them feel romantic and the rapper wasn’t sure if that was real or if he just wanted it to be.

“We got through the majority of the song yesterday, so we really only have the bridge and the last verse to do today,” Jinyoung said haphazardly, sipping his coffee. He seemed more tired than the day before. 

Today he was wearing a big cardigan with a striped long sleeve and ripped jeans. It seemed like a merge of what Mark usually saw him wear and what Jinyoung wore yesterday. It felt as if there were two sides to him and Mark thought that he liked the softer, more sweet side of him better. He wondered what side he would get today. 

Mark nodded and said, “Sounds good, where are we starting?”

The other hesitated, his expression softening. “I was thinking we could start where we left off, if that’s alright with you?”

Even though he couldn’t get the part yesterday, Mark felt determined today. “Yeah, I think I can do it now.”

Jinyoung squeezed his knee in reassurance and then gestured to the microphone. “Ready when you are.”

And all it took was that first try. The producer grinned at him and said, “That was great, perfect actually.”

With a grin of his own, Mark smiled back at him, feeling proud of himself. 

The rest of the recording went by fast. Mark didn’t need as much direction this time because he already had an idea of what Jinyoung wanted from him. All he had to do was use his words from yesterday and apply them to the lines for today. 

Before he knew it they were on the last line. Mark’s voice was getting a little hoarse from rapping so much and Jinyoung noticed. The rapper first saw him frown during a take and Mark thought he had done something wrong but Jinyoung just shook his head. 

“I’ll be right back,” He promised as he got up, but upon seeing the rapper’s worried face Jinyoung kissed his cheek and left. The light touch took the frown right off his face and replaced it with a shy smile. 

Within a minute, the producer returned with a mug in hand. He gestured for Mark to take it, so he did. Mark held it with both hands, sniffing at the steam that came from it. He glanced up at Jinyoung curiously.

“It’s lemon tea with honey,” The older explained with a smile. “It’ll help with your throat.”

Mark took a sip and closed his eyes, immediately his throat felt better. It had barely registered with him that his throat was hurting at all. He was thankful that Jinyoung took notice and did something about it. 

After a few sips and opening his eyes, Jinyoung nodded to himself and said, “Ready to go again?”

His hand was hovering over the keyboard, ready to hit record but Mark reached out and held his hand, “But I haven’t gotten to thank you yet.”

The producer’s eye brow raised, probably wondering what type of thank you Mark meant. The brunette held the side of his face gently and leaned in, kissing him. He pulled back after a couple of seconds, brushing the side of Jinyoung’s jaw with his thumb and smiled. 

Jinyoung hummed in appreciation, his dark eyes melted under Mark’s soft gaze as he said, “I like it when you thank me.”

“I like it when you take care of me,” Mark let slip. As soon as he heard those words out in the open and saw Jinyoung’s expression change to something unreadable, the same flash of emotion in his eyes, Mark wanted to take it back. It was too domestic of a statement. It made it seem like the rapper thought this relationship was more than it was. It made Mark feel vulnerable.

But then Jinyoung’s expression changed into a smile and he said, “Do you want to try the last line?”

Mark took a deep breath and nodded. This was it. This was his last excuse to be around Jinyoung without sleeping with him. Just this short little line. His hand gripped the chair underneath him and he hoped the other wouldn’t notice.

He stumbled through the first couple takes but had it down on the third one. He should be happy, Mark thought. They finished the song. Jinyoung seemed to be, he was grinning as he added the last recording to the song, playing it through. But Mark wasn’t. He had enjoyed their little bubble of happiness, of Mark pretending that they were more than they actually were. 

The rapper hadn’t noticed the song ending or even Jinyoung speaking to him until he felt the older squeezing his hand. He had forgotten that their fingers were still laced together, that they were still connected in some way. 

“Did you hear what I said?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes grazing over Mark’s face as if he was trying to read his expression. 

Mark shook his head, no.

The producer smiled and replied, “Did you want to order takeout? As a celebration for finishing the song?”

He nodded, but he should have said no. His mind was telling him to leave, to take whatever they had as it was and to never look back. Jinyoung had no reason to want him now that the song was over and that Mark hadn’t made any notion that he wanted anything sexual from the other. But his heart begged him to stay. To get a couple more kisses. To hold his hand for just a little bit longer. 

And after all this, Mark had a hard time denying his heart these simple pleasures. 

He saw Jinyoung pulling out his phone and then looking over at him, “What are you thinking? Pizza? Chinese?”

“Chinese,” Mark said. Ordering pizza with other people was always a mess, Mark thought. He only liked certain toppings and they somehow always clashed with everyone else’s taste so Mark liked to avoid it if he could. 

The food got there soon after and Jinyoung set it on the coffee table, sitting on the couch. He looked up to see Mark still sitting in his chair and so Jinyoung pretended to pout, “What are you doing over there, babe? Come sit with me.”

Mark felt like he was glued to his chair. Did Jinyoung just call him babe? Even the producer in question seemed a little uneasy, even if he wasn’t trying to show it. What exactly was happening here?

He sat down on the couch but put a little more space between them than this morning when they sat at the desk together. He hoped Jinyoung wouldn’t notice as the producer opened up all the boxes and laid them out in front of them. When he was done, he pulled apart a pair of chopsticks, rubbed them together to get rid of the splinters and handed them to Mark. 

The rapper felt a blush rise to his cheeks as he realized how thoughtful the gesture was, no matter how absentminded it seemed to Jinyoung. No one had done something like that before for him. Were these just tricks that Jinyoung had picked up along the way to make guys feel comfortable around him? Or was this the real Jinyoung? The one that cared for people as more than sexual conquests? 

After taking the chopsticks, Jinyoung did the same for himself. He turned to see Mark not having moved since taking the chopsticks and asking playfully, “What are you doing? Aren’t you hungry?”

Mark shook himself from his daze and chewed on his bottom lip, “I just don’t know where to start. Do I want the fried rice or the sweet and sour chicken first?”

The producer laughed and dipped a piece of chicken into the fried rice, gesturing it to Mark, “There, now you have both.”

His grin was wide, clearly thinking this was a great idea and Mark couldn’t help but smile at him as he leaned in to take a bite. After pulling away, he saw the little way that Jinyoung’s eyes widened and got self conscious that maybe the producer had thought Mark would just take the chicken from his chopsticks instead of eating from them. But then Jinyoung’s expression softened and Mark felt a little better.

Over the course of the meal, the two kept getting closer together. It might have been from the leaning to sample from different boxes, but Mark didn’t think about it too much as he found himself shoulder to shoulder with Jinyoung. He didn’t mind the casual way that Jinyoung’s arm went around his back, is hand resting on Mark’s hip. He also definitely didn’t mind the quick kiss to his shoulder or the way Jinyoung brushed rice off his lip. 

In return, Mark fed him from his own chopsticks this time and Jinyoung smiled at him. By his own clumsy hand, the rapper got sauce on Jinyoung’s lip. He saw the other’s tongue start to dart out to lick it away but Mark beat him to it. 

He leaned back, pulling away, feeling nervous about what he just did. But Jinyoung’s eyes were warm when he held Mark’s cheek and leaned in for a real kiss. While the producer’s lips were gentle and kind, Mark couldn’t help but want more from him. He knew in the back of his head that he was going to regret it, but he still pulled Jinyoung towards him, his hands in Jinyoung’s raven colored hair. 

Getting the hint, the older bit down on Mark’s lip, but this time it didn’t feel as rough as before. It felt more questioning, as if he was asking if this was what Mark wanted. When the rapper only kissed him harder, Jinyoung leaned on top of him, with Mark’s back now on the cushions of the couch. The brunette placed a hand on Jinyoung’s chest and another at the back of his neck. As Jinyoung settled between his legs, Mark used the hand on the back of his neck to hold Jinyoung in place, not wanting him to go anywhere. He liked this. He liked feeling Jinyoung’s hand on his cheek and another on his side. He liked the feeling of Jinyoung’s warm breath and soft lips. He liked feeling surrounded by him. As much as he knew it shouldn’t, being in this position felt safe to him. 

Mark knew if he was in this position only a couple days prior, he would have felt take advantage of. And maybe that’s how he should feel now as Jinyoung’s lips were pressing kisses into his jaw and down his neck. 

And that was when Jaebum’s words started ringing in his head, he sure is trying. Were these past two days just an elaborate way to make Mark comfortable enough around him?

Jinyoung even made a comment about how he knew that Mark was avoiding him. He knew that his usual tactics didn’t work on the rapper, so had he just given up on pursuing him in that way or was this the consequence? 

Mark’s mind raced as he thought back to the last 24 hours. The soft gaze and the comforting touches, reassuring Mark and making him feel relaxed, letting his guard down. Jinyoung had even brought Mark to 76 and sat him in the same spot as all the guys before him. 

Even though the rapper had tried to convince himself otherwise, he couldn’t help but feel as if he was just another guy to Jinyoung. Just another toy to play with until he got bored.

“Are you okay?” He heard Jinyoung ask with a worried expression. It wasn’t until then that Mark felt the wetness on his cheeks. He closed his eyes and shook his head, pushing Jinyoung off him.

“I have to go.”

Jinyoung reached out for his hand as Mark put his hoodie back on, “Mark, what’s wrong? Did I do something?”

But Mark pulled his hand away and didn’t respond, opening the door. He was too scared that more tears would fall if saw those warm brown eyes that he came to cherish. Behind him, he heard Jinyoung calling after him but Mark didn’t look back.

As he walked down the street alone, he pulled his phone out, dialing Youngjae’s number without a second thought. Waiting for his best friend to pick up, Mark wiped away the new tears, unable to hold them in any longer. 

“Mark!” He heard Youngjae’s sunshine of a voice ring through the line. “I was about to ask you what you were doing tonight but you beat me to it!”

“Sorry,” Was all he could get out, a sniff following the short response. He hated that he was crying. 

After hearing the sound of Mark’s voice, Youngjae quickly said, “Are you okay? Where are you?”

The brunette shook his head in response but knew Youngjae couldn’t see him so he said no. His best friend asked him again where he was and Mark told him. Youngjae promised he would be there in little and to wait for him. 

It wasn’t long before Mark saw his best friend running up to him, engulfing him in a tight hug. It only made him cry more. 

“I brought Jaebum with me, I hope that’s okay,” Youngjae said, looking back and forth between Mark’s glossy eyes. 

The brunette just nodded and Youngjae put an arm around him, “Let’s go back to my place, okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun duH DUN 
> 
> poor mark :( did he make the right choice?


	4. warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this chapter is... a mess. 
> 
> I shifted a major plot point to the next chapter and the result was splitting up a span of time which means that this chapter is like...extra long. 
> 
> but! there's smut in it so that's cool, hence the rating change

Once they got there, the younger sat him on the couch and wrapped him up in a big fuzzy blanket. He made a notion to Jaebum and the older nodded, getting water from the kitchen. After handing it to Mark who took it gratefully, Youngjae and him sat next to the brunette.

“What did he do?” The youngest pried, his arm around Mark’s shoulders.

Mark shook his head, “H-He didn’t do anything.”

In his peripherals, he saw the other two exchange looks and Mark added, “Nothing I didn’t want anyways.”

Youngjae seemed to understand what Mark was trying to say, “But then you didn’t want it?”

Mark just nodded.

“Did he force you into anything?” Jaebum asked, his voice almost a whisper.

This time Mark’s eyes widened and he said, “No, no it wasn’t like that. I just, I just felt like everything he was doing was some sort of ploy to sleep with me, like you said and I couldn’t take it anymore. So I pushed him away and left.”

He saw the pained expression on Jaebum’s face and the older sighed, “Mark, when I said that I hadn’t seen how he was with you. I only saw a few seconds. I hadn’t gotten to see the way he looked at you or how he held you.”

Mark’s brows came together, confused. What was Jaebum getting at?

“You saw his eye whiskers, right?” Mark nodded. If it were another situation he might have even smiled at the cute name. 

Jaebum sighed again, “Mark, I’ve never seen him smile like that at anyone but me or his family, and I’ve known him since we were young. He’s my best friend. He’s seems like a lot but those close to him know just how simple he really is. How caring he can really be.”

The brunette just looked at him, face blank. 

“You saw that part of him, didn’t you?” The older asked and Mark nodded again, thinking back to the tea and the chopsticks. “I don’t think he wanted you in the way that he wanted all those other guys. Maybe at first, yeah, but...I think he really likes you Mark, like for real.”

Mark looked down at the glass of water in his hand, “So you’re saying that I just walked out on a guy that actually cares about me with no explanation and now he probably hates me?”

Next to him Youngjae chuckled, his arm around Mark’s shoulder pulling him closer as he laughed. “No, he doesn’t hate you. Confused if anything.”

The brunette looked to Jaebum for reassurance and the older looked at him with a twinkle of amusement, nodding. 

He groaned, “I’m so dumb.”

His best friend leaned his head on his shoulder and said, “No, you’re not dumb. You just over think things, always have.”

Mark smiled and leaned into Youngjae, thankful for having a friend like him.

“So, I should text him?”

The other two grinned and Jaebum said, “Yeah, that would probably be a good idea.”

‘hey im sorry i freaked out at you :(‘

The response was almost immediate.

‘thats ok did you want to talk about it?’

Mark’s lips stretched into a smile and Youngjae nudged his arm, “What are you smiling about?”

The rapper’s cheeks felt warm as he said, “He asked if I wanted to talk about it, should I say yes?”

“He actually wants to talk?” Jaebum said, eyebrow raised. “Damn Mark, I’m starting to think that you put a spell on him and not the other way around.”

Now Youngjae was smiling too, “Go for it.”

 

In the end, Mark had agreed to go back to Jinyoung’s studio. He felt his smile widen as Jinyoung opened up the door. The older looked like he was about to lean in but thought better of it. His hair was disheveled as if he had been running his hands through it. Jinyoung looked almost vulnerable, nervous even. 

It was then that Mark saw Jaebum’s words coming to life. Not the ones from before but the ones he had said just now. Jinyoung actually liked him, for real, and was worried about Mark and what the rapper was going to say. He cared enough to get nervous.

So, Mark decided to be nice and ease Jinyoung’s nerves. He brought up his hand, which was mostly covered by the sleeve of his hoodie and held the producer’s cheek, leaning in to give him a chaste kiss. He leaned back to look into Jinyoung’s now glimmering eyes and apologize, “I’m really sorry about leaving and not explaining myself.”

A soft smile appeared and Jinyoung pulled him close, wrapping his arms around him and said, “I thought you wouldn’t come back.”

With the gentle embrace and feeling Jinyoung’s lips graze against his temple, Mark’s eyes closed automatically. He couldn’t stop himself from nuzzling his face into Jinyoung’s neck. The skin there was warm and smelt like vanilla. “I didn’t think I would either.”

“What changed your mind?” He asked. Mark’s eyelashes fluttered as he felt the Jinyoung’s unthinking fingers carding through his hair. The rapper praised himself for not wearing a cap today, he loved when people played with his hair. 

“Jaebum.”

Jinyoung’s understanding hum rolled through him, making Mark feel warm. “Can I ask why you left in the first place? Did I upset you?”

The rapper wasn’t sure if he should nod or shake his head. On one hand, his actions were the reason for Mark’s suspicion but on the other hand, Jinyoung never really did anything wrong. It was all in Mark’s head. Or at least he hoped. Doubt lingered in the back of his mind but standing here now, with Jinyoung’s arms around him, holding him close, Mark thought that it was real. Whatever they had was something tangible. 

In the end, Mark sighed and his fingers played with the hem of Jinyoung’s cardigan. “I thought… I thought you were using me.”

The fingers in his hair stopped and it took several moments for them to continue again. The silence let ambiguity grow in Mark’s mind. He pushed his face further into Jinyoung’s neck, feeling small and wanting reassurance. He got it in the form of the older’s arms tightening around him. 

“No,” He heard Jinyoung say. There was a slight hesitation before the producer continued, “I thought you wanted it or else I wouldn’t have initiated it. I’m sorry.”

This time Mark shook his head, “No, I did want it, but I started to worry.” He laughed at himself, “Youngjae always says that’s my worst fault. I overthink.”

The producer laughed with him and said, “Well I’m glad you came back.”

Mark moved his hands so that one was holding the back of Jinyoung’s shoulder and the other was across his lower back, hugging him closer. “Me too.”

 

They found themselves at 76 later that night. Walking to Jinyoung’s usual spot, Youngjae and Jaebum were smiling a little too wide at them for Mark’s liking. He felt embarrassed but proud at the same time.

This time, instead of waiting to get closer to Jinyoung as the night went on, Mark sat down and propped his legs up and over Jinyoung’s. The older didn’t hesitate in surrounding him again, one arm across Mark’s shoulders, the other playing with the rips in Mark’s jeans. It was like they were starting to develop some sort of pattern and the younger sort of loved it. 

 

“Your favorite holiday is halloween?” Jinyoung asked, curious. “But what about Christmas?”

Mark shrugged, twirling a piece of Jinyoung’s hair around his finger. “I just love the vibe of halloween, the spookiness, the candy and dressing up…”

“You dress up?” The producer asked, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

Across from them, Youngjae was grinning. “He dresses up every year. I swear he plans his costumes months in advance.”

Jinyoung shifted his attention to Mark’s best friend. “Really? Like what?”

“Well, last year he went as a sailor,” Youngjae said, looking through his phone for a picture. 

Once he found one, he handed over his phone to Jinyoung. Looking over his shoulder, Mark groaned. “Of course you show him that picture.”

It was taken late in the night after Mark had too many shots, so he had been feeling a little frisky. Youngjae kept taking pictures of him making a fool out of himself. Like this one, taken in the McDonald’s dining area as they attempted to sober up before going home. Mark had one leg up on the chair and a finger in his mouth in mock seduction. 

Jinyoung started laughing as soon as he saw it. The younger hit his chest, embarrassed that Youngjae would even show this to anyone. “Damn babe, now I don’t feel as bad showing you that video.”

Mark hid his face in Jinyoung’s shoulder, his fingers clinging to the fabric of Jinyoung’s shirt. He half blushing because of the picture but half because Jinyoung called Mark babe again. His heart was soaring and he was starting to love the effect that Jinyoung had on him instead of hate it. 

“Aww,” Jinyoung said, rocking Mark gently in his arms. “Don’t get shy, you were a very cute sailor. I wouldn’t have been able to take my eyes off you.”

If his heart was soaring before, now it was practically flying into space. Mark smiled up at him and what he saw made him grin even more. Jinyoung’s eye whiskers were back, his eyes shining with soft affection. Mark brought his hand up to touch the side of the producer’s eye and said, “Jaebum called these eye whiskers.”

“Did he?” Jinyoung asked, getting his answer in the form of a nod from the younger. 

“They’re so cute,” Mark admitted, not feeling self conscious about complimenting Jinyoung anymore. “These and you wearing glasses are my favorite looks on you.”

The producer smiled down on him, “Should I wear them next time I see you, then?”

Mark smiled with glee and Jinyoung laughed at him, brushing his cheek with his thumb. “You’re so cute.”

When the rapper felt his cheeks burn at the sudden compliment, Jinyoung’s smile widened, showing his eye whiskers again. “Are you blushing? Aww, that’s even cuter.”

But Mark couldn’t take all the attention and hid his face again in Jinyoung’s shoulder. “Wait, no don’t hide your face-” 

“Too late,” said Mark, voice muffled by Jinyoung’s cardigan. His heart fluttered when he felt a pair of now familiar lips on his hair and Jinyoung’s hand rubbing at his back.

“You two make me want to throw up,” Youngjae said, his face twisted for over dramatic effect but his voice was teasing. 

“Shut up,” Mark whined. Usually he wasn’t one for public displays of physical affection but something about Jinyoung made it seem so natural that Mark enjoyed being touched and kissed for all to see. 

“Ah, there’s the grumpy Mark I know and love,” Youngjae chided. 

 

And that was how the next week went. Almost every night, the two ended up at 76 with Youngjae and Jaebum. It wasn’t a verbally established thing but Mark had come to expect that he would end his nights at the club and Jinyoung would walk him home, never asking for more than that. 

One day Jinyoung had texted him asking if he was free but Mark was busy on the other side of the city. He sent back ‘what about something later?’ and smiled at Jinyoung’s quick response ‘sure babe. its open mic at 76, we could go?’. The pet name had started to become common. Mark was scared of saying it back, worried about if that was overstepping some unspoken boundary.

There was a lot of that, if Mark was honest. They hadn’t talked about what they were and Mark was avoiding it like the plague. He was happy in his own little bubble but every once in awhile he would start wondering what types of things he could and couldn’t say. What would be too much?

So, as usual, they ended up at 76. Mark liked the routine. He liked being close to Jinyoung. He liked being able to expect the same thing, the small banter, the soft kisses and the way that neither of them could keep their eyes off each other. Jinyoung still hadn’t pressured Mark in anyway. 

One night Mark had gone over to Jinyoung’s for a a movie and they ended up making out on the couch. Mark, as usual, was pulling on the other’s shirt, silenting begging for more. But instead of getting closer to the rapper, Jinyoung actually pulled away. Mark heard himself whine and immediately regretted it. Not because of Jinyoung but because it felt so needy and submissive that he felt embarrassed of how easily the other turned him into mush.

“Okay, I see what you’re doing and yes I want that too but because of last time I think I need like verbal consent from you that you want to go farther,” Jinyoung stated, his voice playful but his eyes told Mark that he was completely.

Mark’s cheeks burned, feeling called out. Jinyoung reached out to Mark, who was sitting next to him on the couch and touched his cheek tenderly. “So?”

“Yes, I want to keep kissing you, yes I want you on top of me and yes I would love it if you took off my shirt and yes I would really really love if you took off yours,” Mark’s cheeks were basically on fire at this point. Jinyoung was smiling at him, on the verge of laughter. “And yeah you know what I would be down to suck your dick if you wanted me to.”

That last part set Jinyoung off. He started laughing, covering up his mouth but his eye whiskers returned. Mark weakly hit his shoulder, feeling more embarrassed than he was before. 

Jinyoung, seeing the brunette’s bright red cheeks and fleeting eye contact, wrapped his arms around him and said, “Aww, baby I’m sorry.”

He kissed both of Mark’s cheeks, watching the red disappear. The producer then leaned down to kiss his lips, but instead of those soft careful kisses that Mark had come to expect, this time Jinyoung started out rough. Once Mark responded eagerly, Jinyoung pushed him back down on the couch, taking his shirt off in the process. Their lips had to part in order for Jinyoung to get the shirt over his head and it let Mark see his body. The older leaned back in to kiss him again, but Mark put a hand on his chest to stop him, eyes wide.

His hands traveled from Jinyoung’s chest to his biceps and then down to his stomach. His muscles weren’t huge but toned and taut. They fit him perfectly. Above him, Jinyoung let out a soft laugh, his eyes sparkling with adoration. “Like what you see?”

Mark’s eyes snapped up to meet his and the blush returned. “S-Sorry.”

“You’re so cute when you’re embarrassed,” Was all he said before taking off Mark’s shirt and kissing him again.

Once Jinyoung’s lips were back on his, Mark took the opportunity to shamelessly let his fingertips roam across Jinyoung’s back, feeling every muscle move under his touch. He was happy to know that he wasn’t the only one touching the newly revealed areas. Jinyoung had one hand on Mark’s hip, rubbing circles into it with his thumb. The other was securely holding his jaw. 

His lips started to trail from Mark’s and down to his neck. His kisses were hesitant, as if asking if this was okay, but Mark moved so that Jinyoung had better access to the soft skin and Jinyoung’s lips became more aggressive. 

He started introducing his teeth in soft nibbles and Mark’s breathing hitched. At the crook of his neck, Jinyoung bit down and Mark felt a soft moan leave his lips before realizing it. He could feel the older’s smile pressed into his neck before Jinyoung bit his neck harder, eliciting a louder moan from him. Jinyoung’s smile grew wider and Mark could practically see the smug grin that the older was wearing. 

 

Jinyoung kissed Mark’s jaw before moving down, putting the rapper in purgatory. Part of him wanted those lips back on his, missing them but another, bigger, part of him wanted Jinyoung to continue kissing down his body. 

His second wish was granted as Jinyoung swiped his tongue over Mark’s sharp hipbone. One of his hands was holding Mark’s side and the other was playing with one of the rapper’s belt loops. He looked up to meet the younger’s blown out eyes, tugging at Mark’s waistband. “Yes?”

“Yes,” Mark replied, cursing himself for how worn his voice already sounded. 

After sliding off the remainder of the rapper’s clothes, Jinyoung mouthed at his thighs, teasing the other. He seemed to be purposefully avoiding Mark’s obviously leaking dick as he kissed up and down Mark’s thighs, marking them here and there. As much as the rapper loved feeling Jinyoung’s touch, he couldn’t stop himself from whining, wanting more. He saw the older smirk and Mark knew he was in trouble.

Jinyoung moved to lick from the base to the head, stopping at the tip to lap up the pre cum there. After feeling Jinyoung’s soft tongue doing kitten licks, Mark moaned, making Jinyoung smile. His eyes were full of lust, but not just that. Mark felt comforted that he still saw the adoration in his eyes. He felt comfortable doing this with him because Mark thought he knew how Jinyoung felt about him. This wasn’t just lust, it was something more.

After a quick kiss to the head, Jinyoung took him into his mouth, swirling his tongue. The younger had brought a hand to his mouth in attempt to cover up his whines, but when he moaned, “Fuck”, Jinyoung’s eyes snapped to his. He pulled away and moved above Mark, taking the hand away from Mark’s mouth.

He laced their fingers together while his other hand wrapped around Mark’s length, stroking it. 

“When I do this, I want to hear you,” He said. His voice surprised Mark, it was demanding. If Mark could get harder, he definitely did. 

His thumb rubbed the underside and Mark couldn’t stop himself from moaning, pink rising to his cheeks. 

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Jinyoung said, his voice low and rough. It made Mark feel small under him and turned him on so much.

Mark shook his head and the older smiled, kissing his lips before saying, “Good boy.”

The rapper’s mouth went dry at hearing that. This was definitely a different side of Jinyoung that he had not seen before. 

Jinyoung settled back between his legs and placed sloppy kisses up and down his length before taking him back in his mouth. With every bob of his head, he went farther and farther down Mark’s length. Jinyoung’s mouth was so wet and warm and Mark’s voice was getting breathier and breathier. When Mark started to raise his hand up to his mouth again, he had forgotten that Jinyoung’s hand was still in his. Jinyoung must have felt the movement because his grip tightened, keeping Mark’s hand down by his side.

He hollowed out his cheeks, sucking harder and forcing a moan out of the younger. Mark never thought it would feel this good to be controlled like this, but then again, Jinyoung seemed to be full of surprises.

Feeling Jinyoung moving faster and using his hand where his mouth wasn’t, the rapper had forgotten about shame and did what Jinyoung wanted: he became a moaning mess. He squeezed Jinyoung’s hand as the older sucked on his head and grabbed at Jinyoung’s hair, not wanting his mouth to ever leave. The producer seemed to approve of Mark’s actions, swallowing him down to the base. 

Mark’s head threw back as he enjoyed the feeling of Jinyoung’s lips around him. His breathing was wrecked and his moans were turning into a slew of profanities. He knew he was getting close, so he tugged at Jinyoung’s hair to let him know. The older looked up at him, but didn’t pull off. Instead he only sucked him down harder. 

The rapper felt Jinyoung’s thumb rubbing circles onto the back of Mark’s hand as if saying it was okay and between that, the look that Jinyoung was giving him and the way his teeth just barely grazed Mark’s length, Mark let go. His eyes rolled to the back of his head and his back arched off the couch. Below him, Jinyoung was swallowing every drop, milking him through it. Once Mark had come down from his orgasm, the older licked at his head, making sure he got every drop. 

He was being so careful that Mark smiled lazily at him. Jinyoung climbed back on top of him, his eyes glassy and blown out. His lips attacked Mark’s hungrily. 

“Fuck, you’re so hot when you come,” He said in between kisses. Mark could taste himself but he didn’t care. Usualy, he probably would have felt embarrassed at those words but instead he felt prideful.

The brunette wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s shoulders, kissing him back with the same intensity and flipping them over. 

Mark wanted to make Jinyoung feel as good as the older did for him. Moving between Jinyoung’s legs, Mark stripped him of all his clothes. When he saw Jinyoung’s cock all red and dripping for him, the rapper felt himself drooling. He was eager and he thought that Jinyoung could probably see that as he ran his fingers through Mark’s hair. The younger loved the small sign of affection and licked long, flat strokes up Jinyoung’s length. He didn’t even bother attempting teasing him, Mark just wanted to please him. 

He made small strokes with his hand as he mouthed at the head, alternating between light and hard sucks. He felt Jinyoung’s thumb stroking at his jaw tenderly and heard the lewd noises coming from him and felt proud of himself. Mark didn’t waste a second before taking him in further, moving his tongue down him. 

“So good,” He heard Jinyoung’s deep but soft voice say. Mark’s eyes lit up and he sucked harder, wanting to be praised more. 

It shouldn’t have surprised him that Jinyoung’s words affected him so much, the producer’s words and touches always have but this felt different. It made him want to please Jinyoung, made him want to gain his approval.

“Such a good boy,” Jinyoung moaned as Mark picked up the pace. If Mark hadn’t just came, he swore he would be hard again. 

As he took Jinyoung deeper, Mark could feel his eyes start to water but he didn’t care. He didn’t care that his jaw was getting sore either, all he wanted was to hear Jinyoung keep moaning and maybe be called a good boy again. He loved how deep and breathy Jinyoung’s voice was. How Jinyoung’s jaw twitched when Mark sucked harder. 

He felt Jinyoung’s thumb swipe away a tear that fell and saw the way that Jinyoung was looking at him. It only made him want to try harder. 

“Fuck, oh my god,” He heard Jinyoung say once Mark deep throated him. The rapper didn’t have much of a gag reflex, but he usually didn’t let that be known until he knew his partner was close. It was like his secret weapon that he used mostly for good.

He watched Jinyoung fall apart as Mark hummed around him, feeling the hand in his hair get rougher and rougher. Finally, Mark felt Jinyoung spill into his mouth and a wave of accomplishment hit him. He had never been so happy to get a guy off, but somehow Jinyoung made him want it that badly. 

Mark moved up to straddle Jinyoung’s lap and the older sat up to cup his face. The look of adoration was back, mixed with a little haze left over from the orgasm. 

“You did so good, baby,” Jinyoung said and Mark grinned, nuzzling his face into Jinyoung’s neck. 

Feeling those familiar arms move around him, Mark felt safe and content. He didn’t regret doing this at all. 

It wasn’t until he heard his phone buzzing on the coffee table that Mark remembered he had promised Youngjae they would hang out that night.

“Fuck,” He said, reaching for his phone and seeing a few messages from Youngjae asking him where he was. 

“What is it?” Jinyoung asked, rubbing at his back lazily.

Mark pouted, texting Youngjae back, telling him that he would be there soon. “I told Youngjae we could hang out tonight. I guess I got a little distracted.”

“So you’re leaving me?” He heard the teasing in Jinyoung’s voice and saw the obviously fake pout on his lips.

The rapper grinned and kissed him. “Just for tonight, I’ll probably see you tomorrow anyways.”

As he started putting his clothes back on, Jinyoung just watched him on the couch, smiling happily. “Yeah, you probably will.”

And that small sentence made Mark realize how relieved he was. All the worries that had formed at the back of his head disappeared.

Once Mark was ready, Jinyoung walked him to the door and pulled him in for a slow kiss. It reassured Mark that this wasn’t just a sexual thing. That Jinyoung and him were something more. 

“Goodnight babe, text me when you get there, okay?” Jinyoung said, kissing Mark’s cheek. 

“Okay,” Mark said. His grin could probably be seen from space. 

 

It had felt good, being able to be with Jinyoung intimately without feeling like the other was pressuring him. That had been days ago and Jinyoung was still seeing him every day. 

The two were in their usual spot on the couch, all cuddled up to each other. One of the other guys was on stage, rapping to a song that he had just introduced. Mark enjoyed hearing what everyone had been working on. He started to feel like this was a place where he belonged. Not just as Jaebum’s boyfriend’s friend or as Jinyoung’s something, but as Mark, a capable rapper. 

The song got to the bridge, signally that it was close to the end and the brunette felt Jinyoung squeeze his shoulder. “Do you want to go up there?”

Mark turned to face him, confused, “And perform what?”

“Our song,” Jinyoung said simply. “I have the instrumental on my phone.”

The rapper bit his lip, unsure, “But I haven’t practiced it. What if I forget the lyrics?”

Jinyoung on the other hand, looked much less phased. He shrugged, “Then you forget the lyrics. No big deal, Jaebum forgets his all the time.”

With the mention of the other, Mark found himself glancing over at Jaebum. The other rapper was whispering in Youngjae’s ear, making the younger laugh and Mark’s heart flipped at the cuteness of the other couple. He wondered if Youngjae sometimes thought the same of them. 

“And anyways,” He heard Jinyoung say. “I know you can do it. I believe in you.”

Mark turned back to look at him with a smile. Once the song ended, Jinyoung got up and led Mark by the hand up to the stage. He set the song up with the DJ for the night and then turned back to the rapper, pulling him into a quick back hug. Mark knew he was blushing and that all could see it under the stage lights, but still grinned as he felt Jinyoung’s lips kiss the back of his neck before leaving. 

The song started and Mark let the beat wash over him. The words came easy to him as he had written most of them. He was still nervous, mostly about the parts that Jinyoung had wrote but remembering how the producer had looked at him as they recorded the song calmed him down. Knowing that right now, Jinyoung was probably looking at him with that same look made Mark’s heart flutter.

The chorus came and Mark leaned onto the mic stand, smiling. He found Youngjae’s eyes first and grinned wider. The younger was always impressed with his rapping and Mark thought it was so adorable. But just like before, his gaze was pulled to Jinyoung. He felt his heart flip upon seeing the smile that Jinyoung was giving him. The look that Mark had predicted was there, but with something more. The rapper couldn’t tell from this distance.

After the song ended, Mark went straight to Jinyoung, wrapping his arms around his neck. The producer put his arms around his waist and lifted Mark up. 

“You were great, babe,” Jinyoung said as he set Mark back down on the ground, kissing his cheek. “Let me get you a new drink to celebrate.”

Mark felt all warm and fuzzy as he watched the producer leave, sitting back down on the couch. A second later, Jackson was leaning next to him. “So you and Jinyoung, huh?”

The brunettesr’s eyes cast down and a shy smile appeared on his face. No one had really asked them about it yet. He wasn’t sure what to say.

“Yeah, I guess so,” He replied and Jackson’s face lit up.

Jinyoung had returned, sliding in next to Mark. As he handed Mark his drink, Jackson watched them carefully. “You know I never thought I would see the day when Jinyoung had a boyfriend.”

The word rang in Mark’s ears. Boyfriend. But that’s what they were, right? Boyfriends? Neither of them had said anything but that was what they acted like. Mark smiled up at the blonde, happy.

Jinyoung, on the other hand, froze. It took Mark a second to realize it but there wasn’t an arm around him and Jinyoung’s drink sat untouched in his hand. The emotion that Mark couldn’t decipher before was back, but not the new one that the rapper had just seen on stage, but the one he stopped seeing after Mark’s freak out. 

The producer’s eyes were distant as Jackson was called over to talk to Jaebum about something. The doubt that Mark had pushed far back in his mind threatened to come back but instead of listening to it, Mark leaned up against Jinyoung’s side and played with Jinyoung’s fingers. He felt a chaste kiss to his hair and the worry washed away. They were fine.

Later that night, Jinyoung was walking him home. The older hadn’t been as talkative since Jackson’s comment but Mark didn’t mind. Jinyoung was still holding his hand and kissing him whenever he felt like it. The rapper didn’t want to make it into more than it was. He was happy with Jinyoung and he knew that Jinyoung felt the same. He just knew.

When they got to Mark’s door step, instead of letting Jinyoung kiss him goodnight, he did something that he had been pondering about all night. “Do you want to come up?”

He saw the surprise across Jinyoung’s features and smiled, “I just thought since you haven’t seen my place before and I’ve seen yours that it’s only fair?”

It sounded more like a question but Mark was happy when Jinyoung smiled and nodded, following him into the building.

Mark felt his fingers tingling as he unlocked his door. He was excited for Jinyoung to see his place. It was still pretty bare since he hadn’t decorated much since moving, but still.

“Can’t believe I’m finally seeing Mark’s infamous apartment,” Jinyoung joked, a smile teased his lips.

“Yeah, yeah,” The rapper rolled his eyes, moving to the kitchen. “I was going to make some tea, since I wasn’t very tired yet and thought you could keep me company.”

Jinyoung sat at one of the stools at the countertop and said, “I would be more than happy to keep you company and watch you make tea.”

On the other side of the island, Mark was grabbing a mug and a box of tea. He looked back with a smile, “Good.”

He saw how Jinyoung’s smile widened and said, “I usually make this before bed if I can’t sleep, did you want some?”

The producer shook his head, “I’m already tired, if it’s supposed to make me sleepy, then I would probably end up falling asleep on my walk home.”

Mark frowned, “Oh, I didn’t realize, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jinyoung replied. Mark had his back turned to him as he heated up the water.

In a brief moment of courage, he looked back and said, “You know, you could sleep over if you wanted.”

One of Jinyoung’s eyebrows raised and Mark backpedaled, “Just sleep. Nothing more.”

A smile appeared on the producer’s face, “Okay.”

“Okay,” Was all Mark replied with as he picked up his mug full of tea and sat next to Jinyoung at the island. 

They talked for a little about nothing in particular until Mark finished his tea. The rapper led Jinyoung to his bedroom and he saw him hesitate as if not knowing what to do. Mark took the lead and undressed down to his boxers and slipped into bed. Jinyoung followed and the brunette found a cozy place in his arms. 

“I still don’t feel tired enough to sleep,” Mark complained and felt the low rumble of laughter flow through Jinyoung’s chest. 

It felt nice just being able to be next to each other in bed. To feel so safe in Jinyoung’s arms.

“I could sing to you,” Jinyoung suggested, making Mark look up to see if he was serious. “Yes, I do actually sing.”

The brunette frowned, “Then how come I’ve never heard you sing before?”

Jinyoung shrugged, “I only sing when it’s important to me. Jaebum has been trying to get me to sing on his songs for years but it feels weird singing someone else’s words and experiences.”

His words made Mark feel special. Was Mark important to him? Was that what he was suggesting?

“So, does that mean you’ll sing me something you wrote?” Mark asked, trying to conceal his excitement.

Those familiar lips pressed against his forehead and Jinyoung said, “Of course, babe.”

Mark snuggled up closer to Jinyoung’s chest and the older tightened his arms around him, making him feel secure. The brunette heard Jinyoung sing the first word and he was already shocked. Jinyoung’s voice was smooth and low, it sounded like how fall felt. 

The older sung line after line, surprising Mark with rising and lowering his voice. Mark knew it wasn’t his full range, he could tell but even then, just in this soft song, Jinyoung’s voice was amazing. He understood why Jaebum sought after it so much. It was beautiful. He wanted to hear it until the end of time. 

Jinyoung’s voice was working, Mark’s eyes felt heavy and he let them close. Fingers continued to run through his hair, lulling him to sleep. The last thing that Mark remembered saying before he fell asleep was, “My boyfriend’s voice is so pretty.”

 

He woke up from the sun shining through the window. Easing his eyes open, Mark reached out hoping to feel his boyfriend next to him. But his hands only gripped sheets. With his eyes opened, the rapper saw no one around him. He felt uncertainty take hold of him but brushed it off. Maybe Jinyoung was in the kitchen.

But when Mark got there, Jinyoung wasn’t there. Jinyoung wasn’t here at all. He left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a calm before the storm, don't you think? ;) 
> 
> I feel like there was a lot in this chapter so feel free to ask me questions or to just ramble to me about whatever :)


	5. disappointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a hard one to write, don't hate me okay?

Once he realized that Jinyoung truly wasn’t there, Mark thought that maybe he had texted him to explain. He didn’t. Then Mark nervously remembered Youngjae’s sticky note breakup and thought that maybe Jinyoung left him a note. Part of him was worried he was going to see the same note Youngjae did but most of him was expecting to find something that apologized for leaving.

He didn’t.

While Mark was happy not to broken up with by sticky note, he was also now worried. Why had Jinyoung left? Why hadn’t he told Mark? But then instead of getting upset, Mark caught himself and took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to overthink things. Not this time.

When he asked Jinyoung to sleep over, it wasn’t a preplanned thing. Maybe Jinyoung had to be somewhere in the morning and forgot, but in his haste to leave, he also forgot to tell Mark. It had to be something like that. Jinyoung wouldn’t do something like this to hurt Mark. 

After all this time, all of Mark’s worries were fruitless and unnecessary, so it would be pointless to worry now. Jinyoung really cared for him, even Jaebum thought so. Mark didn’t need to worry, or at least that was what he tried telling himself. 

He kept thinking back to the night before, reminding himself of how much Jinyoung cared for him. Of when they were stopped at an intersection and Jinyoung turned to face him. The producer had touched his face so lightly, brushing his fingertips over Mark’s cheeks. Mark saw the way that Jinyoung looked at him, saw the sincerity in his words when he said, “You’re so beautiful.” 

Mark had smiled at the compliment and let his eyes flutter closed under the soft touch, feeling Jinyoung’s warm breath as the older traced his features. He felt Jinyoung’s fingers move over his lips, the older’s touch delicate before stalling at Mark’s chin. When Jinyoung’s lips pressed against his, Mark felt his heart skip a beat. At the time he had been cold and just wanted to get to wherever they were going, not really cherishing the moment as much as he should have. 

To distract himself, Mark decided to call up Youngjae.

“How come you always call me when I’m about to call you?” Was the first thing that Youngjae said when he picked up.

Mark smiled, “Because we’re best friends, duh.”

He heard the younger’s bright laughter over the phone and smiled wider. This was a good choice, Mark thought to himself.

“Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to grab lunch with Bambam and I,” Youngjae explained.

“And I was gonna ask if you wanted ramyeon, so that’s perfect,” Mark confessed. 

“Oh! That’s great because Bambam loves ramyeon!”

Mark shook his head, laughing, “I know, he was my friend first, remember?”

“Oh,” Youngjae paused. “I forgot.”

Even though Mark couldn’t see him, he knew Youngjae was making his cute confused otter face. 

“See you at the usual place in 30?”

“Okay!” Came Youngjae’s way too excited response. Mark wondered how his friend could be that happy all the time, but then he realized how happy he had been recently too. He thought of Jinyoung again and smiled. 

 

When Mark got there, he looked for some bright hair color. Youngjae was usually harder to spot because he always wore black but Bambam on the other hand was a bit more lavious. Mark never knew what hair color to expect with him, but not black was usually a safe bet. 

He saw pale violet hair styled perfectly and decided that was probably him and started walking over. As he got closer, Mark saw Bambam and Youngjae chatting animatedly at a table in the corner of the restaurant.

Youngjae saw him first and started waving before Bambam turned and smiled warmly. It made Mark happy to see Bambam, they hadn’t seen each other since Mark moved. The two had been good friends for years and it made the rapper feel kind of bad that they haven’t talked recently. 

After they ordered, Bambam told them all about how he had been doing this series of music videos for a big company. It had been his dream for years and Mark was happy for him. 

“So does this mean you won’t be shooting my videos anymore?” The rapper joked.

Bambam rolled his eyes, “As if, you know I always will.”

“Now that you’re all fancy, you’re going to start charging me, right?” Mark teased, sipping his water.

“Maybe.”

Youngjae started laughing way too hard and Mark shook his head while Bambam just grinned.

“But enough about me, what’s new with you two?” Bambam asked and Mark was about to say nothing when Youngjae perked up in his seat. The rapper rolled his eyes, his best friend was always excited to share.

“I’m seeing someone new!” He said with a wide smile.

Bambam barely looked phased at all, “I’m not surprised.”

Next to him, Mark nodded, agreeing with him. Youngjae was the opposite of chronically single. He was always with someone. 

And then Youngjae turned to look at Mark and his grin spread wider, “But so is Mark!”

The brunette eyes widened, not knowing that his best friend was going to share that. 

“Okay, I was not expecting that,” Bambam said, actually surprised this time. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I kind of, um, forgot?” said Mark guiltily.

Youngjae, on the other hand, had no problem spilling more details about Mark’s life. 

“It’s probably because he’s all Mark can think about,” The younger said with a satisfied grin as he saw Mark paling from Youngjae’s truthful words. He looked to Bambam and consoled, “Don’t be too upset, Mark’s basically been with him day and night since they met.”

Bambam’s eyebrows raised, leaning back in his chair. “You must really like him.”

Pink started to rise to Mark’s cheeks as he said, “I do, I really do.”

“Would I know him?”

Mark paused, biting on his lip in thought, “Maybe, he’s a producer. His name is Park Jinyoung.”

And then Bambam gawked, “Park Jinyoung? Are you serious?”

“Do you know him?” Mark asked, surprised at his friend’s reaction.

“Oh yeah,” Bambam replied, looking slightly uncomfortable. “A lot of my friends have slept with him, actually. I’m surprised you hadn’t met him sooner, you’re totally his type.”

“Really?” Mark asked.

Next to him Youngjae snorted, “Oh come on, even I knew you were his type. He always goes for the-”

“No, no,” Mark interrupted, waving him off. “I meant that he slept with a lot of your friends.”

“Yeah, quite a few,” Bambam’s smile was strained. “He’s known to be the hit it and quit it kind of guy, and you said you’re seeing him?”

Mark just shrugged, “He’s not like that with me.”

His best friend nodded, “I’m dating his best friend and even he said that Jinyoung is different with Mark.”

Bambam looked shocked, “So it’s the real deal? Like with feelings and everything?”

“I mean,” Mark said, feeling the doubt creep in. “That’s what it seems like.”

“That’s what it looks like too,” Youngjae affirmed. “Jinyoung looks at Mark like he put all the stars in the sky.”

Across from him, Bambam seemed impressed. He shrugged and said, “Well, I’m happy for you if it works out but if it doesn’t, at least he seems to be a good lay.”

“I…,” Mark said, hesitantly. “ Wouldn’t know.”

Now both Youngjae and Bambam looked at him in shock. It was Youngjae who spoke first, “You still haven’t slept with him?”

“Yeah, that’s slow, even for you,” The other agreed.

Feeling self-conscious, Mark avoided their eyes and played with the sleeves on his hoodie instead. “I mean, he slept over last night but we didn’t do anything…”

“He slept over?” The brunette heard Youngjae say excitedly.

Mark bit his lip, looking down at his hands. The doubt from before was growing as he remembered the morning. “But when I woke up, he wasn’t there.”

Youngjae reached out and put his hand on Mark’s, causing the rapper to look up. When he met his best friend’s eyes, Youngjae said, “I can see you overthinking this but I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything. He’s too head over heels for you to leave now.”

Mark tried to regain his composure, “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right.”

Bambam, on the other hand, didn’t look so sure.

 

That night, Mark went to 76 with Youngjae and Jaebum. He hadn’t texted Jinyoung but he was sure that he was coming that night. Everytime he felt himself start worrying, he would look up and see Youngjae’s supportive glances. 

In an attempt to keep from worrying, Mark and Jackson decided to hap hazardly start a rap battle.The blonde was as enthusiastic as always and the others at the club were cheering them on, judging who was winning. Mark admittedly probably lost a couple rounds at first because he kept stumbling on his words, losing focus every time he glanced at the entrance in hopes to see Jinyoung. 

Mark was cheering on Jooheon when something dark caught his eye and he looked over Jackson’s shoulder to see Jinyoung walking in. A smile grew across Mark’s face, happy that his, boyfriend? His something was finally here. But across the room, the other didn’t quite meet his eyes. Mark frowned, confused at Jinyoung’s actions. He tried to just tell himself that maybe he just couldn’t see the producer’s eyes from here but then that’s when he saw him.

Another guy, walking behind Jinyoung.

At first Mark wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt but then Jinyoung pulled the guy down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder. The brunette thought he must be seeing things but if the possessive touch wasn’t enough, the whispering in the other guy’s ear and kissing down his neck told him he wasn’t just imagining this. It was actually happening. 

Jinyoung came here with another guy. 

All Mark could hear was the insistent bass pounding through the speakers, the last remnants of the forgotten rap battle. He didn’t hear the other guys talking to him or even Youngjae who was looking between Jinyoung and Mark, absolutely shocked. Jaebum, who was next to him, looked furious. 

Mark, on the other hand, couldn’t feel anything. It felt like his soul left his body and he was watching this all from an outsider’s perspective.   
As he watched Jinyoung, the guy who he had come to consider as unofficially his, he saw that the producer was now attached at the lips with this other guy. Holding his cheek just like he would hold Mark’s. The brunette’s heart sank to the floor. Those were his lips. Those kisses belonged to him. Those arms holding that other guy close were his. They surrounded him last night, making Mark feel safe. Those were the same hands that held his. His, his, his. 

He didn’t know when it happened, but Mark felt himself walking. But not to Jinyoung, not to Youngjae, but out of 76. As soon as he made it through the club doors, he started sprinting. He just kept running and running. Nowhere in particular, he didn’t even turn down the street where his apartment was. He just wanted to forget. If he went home he would see the mug in the sink, he would see his unmade sheets, he would see the stool that Jinyoung sat at. It wouldn’t feel like home anymore. 

Eventually, when his body gave out Mark stopped and leaned his forehead against a light pole, cursing himself for being so stupid.

Of course Jinyoung hadn’t really changed like everyone said. Of course not. Mark should have never expected anything different from him. It wasn’t like Mark put out, not really. What was a blowjob to a guy who could get laid every night?

It was a big city and with looks like Jinyoung had, he could fuck any guy he wanted. Why should he have wasted his time on Mark? There was no point in waiting for him. He was just something fun to play with until he got bored, which was apparently now. 

Mark felt the tears stream down his face and he moved so that his back was to the light pole, but his legs were shaky after running so fast that he slid down to the ground. He must look so pathetic, he thought. Just sitting down on the ground of a busy street at night, crying his eyes out. 

When the tears didn’t stop, Mark cursed himself for staying so damn hydrated. The joke almost made him laugh but the sadness of it all stopped him. He finally understood why Youngjae let all those guys do this to him. It was the hope that the guys weren’t really like that. That Mark or Youngjae were special and that they weren’t going to be treated the same as the guys before them. 

Mark felt so dumb for falling for it. But he was also glad he didn’t sleep with Jinyoung. He would hate himself even more if he had. At least he stopped it before it got worse, before he truly felt used.

The brunette sniffed, wiping his nose on his sleeve. It grossed him out but instead of worrying about the snot on his hoodie, he sighed. He was too tired too care. The adrenaline from running had worn off and Mark started feeling the cool night air surrounding him. He would wish he had brought a jacket but it wasn’t like past him had really thought that current Mark would be sitting out on the sidewalk right now. 

After the anger subsided, the sadness seeped in and Mark really didn’t want to be alone at the moment. He reached into his pocket only to find that it wasn’t there. “Fuck.”

Sighing, Mark got up. He knew he would have to go back to the damn club, he he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to see Jinyoung. He especially didn’t want to see Jinyoung with that guy. Mark could just imagine the producer leading that guy to the bathroom just like he did with all the other guys Mark saw him with. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Mark thought he saw something and looked up to see Youngjae running towards him with Jaebum trailing behind him. Talk about deja vu. 

“Mark!” Youngjae called, crashing into his bestfriend and swinging his arms around his shoulders. When he pulled back he said, “I’m so fucking sorry, Mark I’m so sorry.”

Jaebum shook his head, “No, I should be the one apologizing, I really thought it was different this time. That fucking prick.”

The brunette shook his head and said solemnly, “No, it’s not either of your’s faults. It would have ended up this way no matter what. He would have gotten bored of me anyways.”

Jaebum gave him a sympathetic look but didn’t argue against what Mark was saying. Probably because he knew it was true. And that was what hurt the most. 

“Well, it looks like this time I owe you some ice cream,” Youngjae said with a sad smile.

Mark managed a laugh, “Gonna pay me back for all those heartbreak ben and jerry’s?”

The younger shook his head and said, “No, I know you better than that. You probably just want a shit ton of fries and maybe a milkshake.”

At his best friend’s words, Mark smiled. At least in the end he still had Youngjae and probably Jaebum at this point. They were kind of a packaged deal these days and Mark was happy for them. Even if his love life was messed up, at least theirs wasn’t. 

But then Mark remembered his phone. “Fuck, I left my phone at 76.”

Youngjae frowned, “Do you want to go back?”

Thinking for a second, he thought he probably should. Now that he had his friends at his side, Mark thought he could probably bare seeing Jinyoung. Or at least he hoped. 

So, Mark nodded and Youngjae rubbed his back as they started walking. Jaebum even promised he would yell at Jinyoung if they saw him but Mark kept assuring him that it wasn’t really necessary. 

 

Entering the club felt like a rush, but not in a good way. Thoughts kept flowing through his mind as he walked to the main room. He knew who Jinyoung was from the start, how did he let himself fall for him? How did he let his guard down, even for a second? He should have just done the song and left, pushing Jinyoung’s hands away and ignoring his cute actions. They were all lies. 

But even Mark couldn’t believe that. Those soft smiles and those sweet words of affection told a different story, one that Mark had held close to his heart. But it didn’t matter now. It must have not been the same for Jinyoung and Mark just kept asking himself why.

He kept his head down, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone but mostly just not wanting to accidentally see Jinyoung. He tried to keep his breathing steady, being here just brought back the memories of how he felt just an hour before. Of how he felt last night, curled up in Jinyoung’s arms listening to him sing. 

“He’s not here, Mark,” His best friend whispered into his ear and Mark looked up. His eyes reluctantly glanced around, finding that what Youngjae said was true. Jinyoung wasn’t there. 

Instead of feeling relieved, it just felt like another shot to his heart. Jinyoung was probably somewhere fucking that guy he brought. Mark hoped that the other guy knew what he was getting himself into. He hoped that the other guy didn’t get attached like he did, that he kept a level head and didn’t let his heart get involved. 

“Hey! You guys came back!” Jackson said with a bright smile. His eyes glanced in Mark’s direction and his smile faltered.

Jaebum affirmed, “Mark left his phone here so we wanted to pick it up.”

One of the other guys, Bobby, gave him a sad look and said, “Yeah, I found it on the table and put it up by the stage. Didn’t want anyone to mistake it for theirs.”

Mark smiled at Bobby weakly and Jaebum clamped him on the shoulder, “Thanks for looking out.”

The bunny tooth rapper smiled and said, “Anytime.”

The brunette heard his name and saw that Jackson was looking at him. They weren’t more than a couple feet away from him and the other guys. “I’m really sorry, man. I really didn’t think Jinyoung would do that to you. I mean I’ve known the guy for years and this is the first time I’ve seen him serious with anyone.”

Mark heard the sincerity in the other’s voice and looked down before muttering a thank you. It hurt him more that he wasn’t the only one under Jinyoung’s spell. That the producer had convinced everyone that he had changed. 

“If it makes you feel better, I totally yelled at him after you left.”

He looked up, “Really?”

The wide smile that Mark had come to associate with Jackson returned and the blonde said, “Oh yeah, told him he was a fucking asshat for not going after you. I don’t think he expected anyone to call him out. But his face, oh my god.”

Jooheon jumped in with, “Oh man, Jinyoung’s eyes got so wide. He just sat there in shock and after a couple minutes just got up and left.”

“I thought he would have caught up to you,” Jackson said. “But I guess not.”

Jaebum handed him his phone and Mark was surprised to see all the messages and missed calls he had. 

“Damn, aren’t you popular,” one of the guy’s said as the phone lit up again with message after message.

“They’re from Jinyoung,” Mark said, barely believing his own words.

Most of them said “I’m sorry” and there was also a heavy amount of “please talk to me” with a bit of “let me explain” thrown into the mix. A few asked where he was and if he was safe, if he was with Youngjae or not. 

He sighed and started texting back when Youngjae grabbed his phone, “What are you doing?”

Mark reached for his phone but Youngjae pulled his hand away. Mark rolled his eyes and said, “Among the hundred of apologies he keeps asking if I’m at least safe or with you, I was just going to say yes.”

But Youngjae shook his head, “No, that’s how they get you, Mark. And if I’ve learned anything, you don’t bargain with guys like him.”

Next to him, Jaebum was moving his lip piercing again with his tongue, looking like he was in thought. “No, I don’t think you’re right.”

Mark hadn’t thought Youngjae would be giving him the death glare this early in the relationship so the rapper stepped back, knowing how Youngjae got when he has that look on his face. 

But before the younger could said anything, Jaebum continued, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that Jinyoung has never and I mean never apologized to a guy. Usually he just blocks their number and moves on.”

“Well I don’t care how many times he apologizes,” Youngjae said, practically seething. “He walked in and acted like he didn’t even see Mark! Like he hadn’t just spent the last two weeks with him! I don’t care what labels were and weren’t there, Jinyoung was basically his boyfriend which meant that he just cheated on Mark, right in front of him! And he didn’t even care!”

The younger was shaking by the end of it and Mark wrapped an arm around him, trying to calm Youngjae down. He appreciated Youngjae standing up for him but hearing the words were like a knife in a fresh wound. 

“Okay, okay,” Jaebum said, not looking as if he really wanted to agree with his boyfriend but it didn’t really seem like he had a choice at this point.

“So I shouldn’t even tell him I’m okay?” Mark asked nervously. Not even he was convinced that he shouldn’t talk to Jinyoung. So much of his heart was begging for the chance to hear from him again. 

“No,” Youngjae said firmly. “He doesn’t deserve to know. If he keeps texting you, block him.”

Mark nodded. It was for the best. It wasn’t like Jinyoung had really changed, so why should he get his hopes up again?

Youngjae rubbed his back again, “Now let’s go get you a milkshake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after seeing your guy's response to jinyoung not being there in the morning, I feel guilty doing this to you :( :(


	6. strength

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my goddd!! reading all your comments have been wonderful!! I love that you guys got so mad at Jinyoung lolol I loved reading your thoughts, thank you so so so so much~
> 
> this chapter will be a little angsty, I do apologize. It was hard for me to write because I really hate making my characters suffer :( :( 
> 
> but it's the longest chapter I've written so far so I hope you like it :)

Mark spent two days moping around his apartment until Youngjae finally came knocking on his door to drag him outside. He never blocked Jinyoung’s number. He couldn’t bring himself to. Instead he just watched his screen light up with his messages. As time passed, the messages came less frequently, but still multiple times a day. 

The majority of them were apologies, but never more than a few words. They usually were followed up with wanting to explain and questions asking if they could talk. Once or twice Mark started to reply but then forced himself not to hit send. He felt like shit now, he couldn’t imagine letting Jinyoung mend his heart, only to eventually break it again. Mark knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

It was cliche but the world felt like it was drained of color. He had been surrounded with so much warmth and affection. It felt like his whole world was Jinyoung. If he wasn’t with him, being treated with sweet words and soft smiles, then Mark had been thinking of them and looking forward to when he was going to see Jinyoung again. 

He hadn’t realized how attached he had become in such a short period of time. To Mark, they just clicked. He never felt out of place with Jinyoung, he always felt comfortable. The producer had taken such good care of him that it seemed effortless. Mark didn’t know when Jinyoung became a part of him, but he did. 

And the fact that the rapper knew that he wasn’t a part of Jinyoung killed him.

Mark kept thinking to himself, where did I go wrong? At what point did I stop seeing Jinyoung for what he was and start believing he was more? Maybe it was the vulnerability that Jinyoung showed when he let Mark see the embarrassing video. Maybe it was when Jinyoung wiped his tears. Maybe it was the bright smile that Jinyoung wore when he walked away from Mark’s door step for the first time. It could have been the look Jinyoung gave him as he sang Mark to sleep, full of nothing but affection and adoration. Or at least that was what Mark thought he saw. 

Something, somewhere made Mark’s heart louder than his mind. And so much of him wanted to regret it. He wanted to hate Jinyoung, he wanted to have as much fury as his friend had. But instead he blamed himself. Everyone knew who Jinyoung was, they all expected the same thing from him. It was Mark’s fault for believing otherwise.

Youngjae kept trying to get him to talk about it, but Mark didn’t want to see the look his friend would give him if he said he blamed himself. So he just didn’t talk. 

He tried to go back to the way things were but every lyric he wrote was too depressing, too full of self-deprecation. It only frustrated him more. Mark kept wishing that he could just get over the sad part and move into the fuck everything part of a breakup. Not that this really was a breakup and maybe that was what made it hurt the most. 

After a week of movie marathons and random outings for milkshakes, Mark wasn’t feeling better and Youngjae was getting worried. The rapper felt terrible. He wanted to be better, he wanted to engage in social activities and actually enjoy things, but he just didn’t have the will power. 

So, Youngjae had him do the only thing that felt right. They went to 76. A part of it was Youngjae’s push. They had been sitting in Youngjae’s kitchen, Jaebum was making them impromptu pancakes because that was all Mark was hungry for and Youngjae was sitting next to him frowning.

Mark had become a shell of himself. He only talked when spoken to, and half the time he didn’t hear that because he was too busy in his own sad thoughts. He didn’t make any witty comebacks, no grumpy remarks. And Youngjae hated it. 

He had been telling Mark that maybe he needed to start writing again, for the 4th time that day when Jaebum said, “Maybe he just needs to go back to 76.”

The youngest was quick to open his mouth but Jaebum smiled at him and said, “I know babe, I know what you’re thinking but just hear me out, okay?”

Mark could tell that Youngjae wanted to say more, but out of his love for his boyfriend, Youngjae kept his mouth shut.

“Now what if Mark isn’t feeling better because his routine is broken? What if the structure of going to 76 every night is holding him back? Maybe he needs to make a new routine and to see you-know-who and realize how much better he is without him?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Mark saw Youngjae nodding to himself. “Honestly I’m out of ideas and if you think this could work…”

Jaebum shrugged, “It’s worth a shot.”

If Mark was more himself, it would have bugged him that his two friends were talking about him as if he wasn’t there. But even though he was physically present, he knew he wasn’t really there. He also knew that his friends were just worried about him. So at Youngjae’s insistent nagging, they went. 

The whole walk over, Mark’s mind was racing. He kept thinking about what would happen if he saw him. Would Jinyoung pretend he didn’t exist like last time? Would he be there with a new guy? 

Instead of hoping for the best, Mark was hoping for the worst. Maybe then he would learn to hate him. But deep down he knew what he felt for Jinyoung wasn’t hate. Even after everything and maybe because of everything, he realized he had fallen for him.

So the other part that made Mark come was the hope that Jinyoung would do something terrible. He wanted to see Jinyoung in the light that Youngjae saw him in. He wanted, more than anything, to not be in love. He couldn’t handle loving someone that would never love him back. 

He kept these feelings to himself, knowing that Youngjae would be quick to give him another lecture about the whole situation and probably a long apology for giving his blessing to go after Jinyoung. He didn’t want to see the guilt in Youngjae’s eyes. Nor the pity.

When they walked in, Mark’s eyes immediately went to Jinyoung’s usual spot. Hoping to see him kissing some guy, hoping to see him being the fuck boy that he had always been. 

But instead, he saw Jinyoung. And Jinyoung saw him. It felt like a knife to his heart when Mark saw the producer’s eyes light up. When he saw the smile that quickly appeared on Jinyoung’s face. It took everything out of him to look away, to force himself not to let his heart feel what it was so desperately trying to feel.

Mark kept his eyes down and let Youngjae pull him next to him. He was thankful that his friend was so good to him. That he hadn’t been given up on.

That slight moment of happiness was forgotten when he heard Jinyoung say, “Mark, I--”

He was too caught up in the fact that he had heard Jinyoung speak for the first time in over a week. That smooth voice that Mark had come to know so well was doused in anxiousness. It was hearing what was usually confidence, turn to something of worry that made Mark look up.

He heard Youngjae cut him off and say something like, “Don’t talk to him, you’ve done enough damage already.”

But Mark barely recognized it. For the first time that night, he looked at Jinyoung, really looked at him. He saw that Jinyoung was alone. He saw the Jinyoung’s hand, which had been reaching out, close and retract. He saw the dark circles under his eyes and the way that his hair looked like it hadn’t been washed in days. He saw the lines of anguish across his face. 

He saw the way that Jinyoung’s eyes met his, desperate and begging. 

But with Youngjae’s arm around his shoulders, Mark felt strong. He was going to withstand this. He was going to forget. So, he turned away and listened to what Jaebum was saying. Something about his album he was working on. 

It was easy to get lost in Jaebum and Youngjae talking. Mark had gotten used to it. He felt Jinyoung’s gaze but never returned it. For once, he felt proud of himself.

Eventually, Jinyoung left. 

And even though Mark hadn’t paid him any attention, when Jinyoung left, Mark felt a piece of him leave too. The piece of him that belonged to Jinyoung. He had tried to ignore it all night but when Jinyoung was there, just a couple feet away, Mark had felt more whole than he had all week.

But when he left, it only reminded Mark of how empty he felt. And it made Mark realize that his worst fear was real: he really was in love with Jinyoung.

Mark tried to suffer in silence but it felt like his heart was breaking all over again. He just wanted to go home and cry. 

After some time went by and Mark wasn’t feeling any better, he tugged on Youngjae’s sleeve and said, “I’m going home.”

His friend tried to get up and say, “Okay, we’ll take you home.”

But Mark shook his head, “I just want to be alone.”

Youngjae’s smile twisted into a frown but he let his friend leave.

 

The next day, Mark said he wanted to go back. He saw the weary look that Jaebum and Youngjae shared but it was the first time that Mark had said that he wanted to do anything since the “incident” as the two called it, so they agreed. 

But Jinyoung wasn’t there. He never came. 

It hurt Mark, walking home alone. It hurt knowing that Jinyoung probably wasn’t alone. It hurt that Jinyoung still had this much control over his emotions and he didn’t even have to do anything to make Mark feel this way. 

But it felt better than sitting at home wondering where Jinyoung was, so Mark went back again the next night. And he kept going back. He decided that it was better knowing where Jinyoung wasn’t than not knowing where Jinyoung was at all. 

He let Youngjae and Jaebum believe that he was getting better, but he wasn’t, not really. Instead he was just growing with the sadness. The hole that was left in his heart wasn’t healing, but it wasn’t getting any worse. So Mark rejoiced in that, it was the only hope he had that things might get better.

One night, Jaebum asked him and Youngjae to come to 76 because it was open mic night again. The other rapper was showcasing the single from his upcoming album and was excited to perform it for the first time. Youngjae hadn’t heard it so he was buzzing with excitement.

While they sat there on their usual couch waiting for some other rappers to take their turn, Youngjae kept asking Jaebum for some sort of spoiler.

“Is it fast or slow?”

“What is it about?”

“Is it about something deep?”

“Wait is it about me?”

To all of these questions, Jaebum just smiled at Youngjae, his eyes sparkling. It pulled at Mark’s heart, or whatever part of his heart he had left. Half of it felt like it was dead, and the other half was desperately trying to live. At this reminder, Mark frowned, looking down at his hands. He wondered if he was ever going to be whole again. 

When Jaebum went up on stage, Youngjae leaned into Mark with a beaming smile. He was so filled with excitement, Mark thought it was adorable. Bittersweet, but adorable all the same. 

As it turned out, the song was about Youngjae. It was cute. The melody was fun and light, just like the guy it was about. Jaebum’s smile was wide as he rapped about his love for Youngjae and all the dumb things he does that just makes Jaebum’s heart grow fonder. Mark had to admit it was charming, even though it made him sad at the same time.

It wasn’t until Jaebum came back to the couch, only to be covered in kisses from his boyfriend, that Mark looked away and saw that Jinyoung was there. 

The producer was in his normal spot, still alone. But this time he wasn’t looking at Mark. His hands were in the pockets of his jacket and his eyes were glued to the stage where another person was standing. But Jinyoung didn’t really seem to be looking at anything. 

Mark couldn’t read him at all and the feeling sunk in his heart. Maybe he couldn’t read him because maybe he never really knew him. He only knew the Jinyoung that was being falsely shown to him. 

The rapper tugged at his sleeves, he felt small and dejected but this time there was no one to wrap him in their arms. No one to place soft kisses into his hair and to nuzzle into. Mark was alone. Caught in between an emotionless Jinyoung and a completely in love couple. 

Pulling his gaze away, Mark tried to empty his mind of thoughts. He wanted to stay this time. He didn’t want to leave early again, he wasn’t going to let his emotions get the best of him. 

 

Mark left Youngjae and Jaebum to grab another drink. When someone appeared next to him, the brunette was relieved to find out it was Jackson.

“Hey man, how’s it going?” The blonde asked.

Mark knew that the other rapper was only being friendly but that question had become one of his most hated. He didn’t want to be asked how he felt anymore. His emotions barely changed, they only went from sad to more sad these days. What was the point of even answering?

He must have glared at Jackson or something because the blonde raised his hands up and said, “Whoa, hey! Sorry I asked.”

And Mark thought he was going to leave but instead he saw Jackson fiddling with his fingers, as if he was trying to figure out if he wanted to say something or not.

“Um, so as you may have noticed, this is Jinyoung’s first time back here in a while,” Jackson started. He looked nervous saying this. “And I just want to say that the fact that he hasn’t brought a guy here in two weeks really means something.”

The brunette rolled his eyes.

“No,” Jackson said, his voice serious. “I mean it, Jinyoung usually brings a different guy here every night, well I mean, he did. Until you. And then um, that happened and he came every night alone.”

Mark sighed, he didn’t want to listen to this. He didn’t want to care about whatever Jackson was trying to tell him about Jinyoung. He just wanted to be over it. 

“Look, Jackson,” He said, not really meeting the blonde’s eyes. “Whatever game Jinyoung was trying to play with me, it’s over, okay? He had the final move and I just have to deal with it.”

The other rapper looked physically pained, like he was frustrated that his words weren’t coming across right. 

“That’s what I’m trying to say, Mark,” He said, his words more hesitant. “I don’t think it was a game and if it was, that wasn’t his final move. He came every night looking like a sick puppy waiting for you to show up.”

“So what?” Mark said, trying to get out of this conversation. He just wanted to go back to his friends and forget everything Jackson was telling him. “He stopped coming. He stopped caring.”

“But he came back,” Jackson said, looking desperate for Mark to understand. 

Mark just sighed. He didn’t know what Jackson wanted from him, either that or he was trying not to notice. So he faked a smile and slipped away.

Back at the couch, Mark ended up spacing out and staring at one corner of the stage. He hadn’t even realized that the song ended until Jaebum said, “Holy shit.”

Mark turned his head to see Jaebum looking at something, his face shocked. And then the rapper followed his gaze to see Jinyoung on stage. 

“I thought Jinyoung didn’t rap,” Youngjae said, sounding confused. 

Jaebum shook his head, looking completely perplexed, “He doesn’t. He sings. But he only does when it’s--”

“Important,” Mark finished for him.

The other rapper looked at him with a sad smile, “Yeah.”

Mark watched with surprised eyes as Jinyoung stood in front of the mic stand. The song started slow and Jinyoung’s face was expressionless. His voice was almost the same. It still sounded good, but it felt like there was something missing. 

But then it got to the chorus and while Jinyoung’s expression remained the same, his voice exploded. There were too many emotions to pick out, but Mark heard them all.

You were beautiful  
Your eyes that looked at me  
Your voice that called out to me  
Everything, everything  
To me, everything about you 

The words resonated with him and Mark tried to not think about them, tried to stop himself from believing he had anything to do with them. 

Memories of me  
Have probably become  
A thing of the past for you too  
Whatever I saw to you  
It will all be something  
In the past

It became harder and harder as the lines were sung for Mark to not associate the lyrics with himself. He saw Jinyoung’s hands grip the microphone harder in anticipation of the next chorus. Mark felt himself bracing himself too.

You were beautiful  
The feeling of not wanting anything more  
Moments that only you gave  
Everything, everything  
Everything has passed  
But you were so beautiful

It was hard for Mark not to think Jinyoung was singing to him when his mind flashed back to that moment at the intersection, seeing all the honesty in Jinyoung’s eyes as he told Mark that he was beautiful. The part of his heart that still longed for Jinyoung was swelling, so mindlessly happy that there was a possibility that Jinyoung had wrote this song about him. 

No matter how much I want you  
You are now just a movie of the past  
That has already ended  
I know

The first line stuck in Mark’s head. Jinyoung had softened his voice for the bridge and while he sung them quieter than the rest, they felt so loud to Mark. “No matter how much I want you” kept playing on repeat in the rapper’s head. What type of want was this? Mark could feel his heart winning him over again, he could feel the little bit of hope that he thought was dead rising.

For the last time  
Your eyes that looked at me  
Your voice that said, take care  
Everything, everything  
Even that, to me

He saw Jinyoung take another breath and at last his poker face fell. As Jinyoung sang the last chorus, Mark could see the emotions not only in his voice but on his face. The producer meant these words. He felt them and Mark knew for a fact that he had written them. 

You were beautiful  
Even the tears you showed me  
Moments I had with you  
Everything, everything  
Everything has passed  
But you were so beautiful

Mark knew without a doubt that this song was about him. He knew the exact tears that Jinyoung sang about. Whether it was his heart thinking for him or not, Mark knew that it hadn’t been one-sided. Jinyoung had at least felt something for him. 

After he sang the last line, Jinyoung lowered his eyes and left the stage without a word. Mark thought that maybe he would but he didn’t even go back to the couch. He kept walking until he left the club completely.

“Whoa,” Youngjae was the first to break the silence.

Next to him, Jaebum’s eyes were wide, “I didn’t think he’d actually perform it.”

“You knew about that?” Youngjae eyed his boyfriend suspiciously.

The other rapper nodded his head, playing with his lip ring in thought. 

“I helped him compose it, thought it would help him, you know, move on,” Jaebum confessed. “I never thought it would be heard by anyone.”

“So it was about me?” Mark asked almost nervously. 

He saw Jaebum nod and the brunette immediately got up.

“I’m sorry Youngjae,” Was all he said before leaving the club too, running after Jinyoung. 

 

He found him a block down and yelled out his name. The producer stopped and turned around, his eyes wide seeing Mark running up to him.

“Did you mean it?” Was all Mark said, breathlessly.

“Mark, what--”

But Mark cut him off, asking again, “Did you mean it?”

“Yes,” Jinyoung answered without hesitation. “Every word.”

His voice was serious and his eyes told Mark that he was being honest. It broke him. Mark didn’t want to believe that Jinyoung had meant those words, that he really did feel something for Mark. He had almost wished that Jinyoung would have just laughed in his face.

“Then why did you do it?” His reply was simple. Mark knew that Jinyoung didn’t need clarification. Jinyoung knew what he was talking about.

The older looked him over and frowned, “Mark, you’re shivering, we should go back and talk where it’s warm--”

While Jinyoung was right, Mark was cold. He had taken off his hoodie at the club and was now only wearing a big shirt. But he didn’t care.

“Tell me,” He tried to make his voice sound as threatening as possible but it didn’t work.

“Mark, please--”

But the rapper only shook his head and said the words louder again. Why wouldn’t Jinyoung just answer him? He had begged Mark to listen to him and now that Mark was here and ready to listen, Jinyoung wasn’t talking. It made him frustrated and between that and Mark’s heart screaming out at him that Jinyoung was standing right there in front of him with a pained look of concern, Mark felt the tears well up. 

Jinyoung stepped forward and raised is hand, as if to wipe Mark’s tears but the brunette stepped back. The older sighed in defeat and said, “I was scared.”

“Go on,” Mark demanded, his tears spilling over onto his cheeks but didn’t make any move to wipe them away.

He saw Jinyoung’s distressed expression as the older asked, “If I tell you, will you at least let me wipe your tears? If you’re not going to allow yourself to get warm?”

Mark’s jaw clenched, upset that Jinyoung would even try to act concerned about him. But he agreed, “Fine.”

“Do you want to know the whole story or?”

“All of it.”

Jinyoung sighed, looking away. Mark could visibly see the producer’s chest rise and fall.

“When I was younger and more naive, I fell in love,” He started. “I fell too hard and too fast but I had convinced myself that it didn’t matter because he must feel the same way. He was everything I thought I could ever want. I thought he was the one. It was completely silly of me, but I had let myself believe that.”

Mark listened patiently, Jinyoung was watching the cars in the street go by.

“But then one day he left. I was stricken, I didn’t understand at all. I found out later that it was all a bet between friends to see if this guy could make someone fall in love with him. It wasn’t real at all. He didn’t love me.”

He heard the strain in Jinyoung’s voice and wondered how many people had heard this story. If this was the first time he was telling it.

“I was heartbroken so I started sleeping with anyone I could. It was just a release, it kept my mind off of him. But as I moved on, it started to become something different. Along the way I realized that I had to woo guys into sleeping with me. This wooing process sometimes felt like a mini relationship, like a courtship.”

Jinyoung shook his head but continued.

“And it felt good to be romantic. But after him I was terrified of ever letting myself fall for someone again, so that’s why I kept all these hookups as one night stands. I would let myself feel what it would be like to be in a relationship again and then leave with no commitment.”

Even though Mark knew this, the words still felt harsh.

“It was good, everything was fine. I was happy, most of them were happy. It was almost no harm no foul. But then you came along,” He looked to Mark with a sad smile. “And fuck, I knew I wanted you the second I saw you.”

If Mark wasn’t so upset and the situation were different, this might had been a compliment.

“But you played hard to get, and for a second I seriously thought I wasn’t going to reel you in, but then you said yes,” He paused, his smile growing wider. “And from then on out everything changed. I tried to just keep the song professional, I seriously did think you had the perfect voice for it.”

A small smile tugged on Mark’s lips. At least he knew that part was genuine.

“My plan was to end up fucking you once we finished but that plan got derailed real quick. You were so different, Mark. I felt myself opening up to you and saw how I was showing you the real me, the me that only Jaebum and a few others see. I was worried at first, but I just convinced myself that this was what you needed to let me fuck you.”

Mark frowned. He didn’t like knowing that he was right about that.

“That it was fine as long as I left afterwards. But man, you made that hard,” Jinyoung said, his voice earnest. “I felt myself loving the way you smiled and laughed. I felt myself being proud that I was the reason for those smiles and laughs and noticed how I would do things just in attempt to see and hear more of them.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, looking away again.

“When you left that one time, I was disappointed. But not because you didn’t let us continue but because I was generally worried that you wouldn’t come back. And that worried me. I knew that was an easy way out. If I just never talked to you again, I would be fine. But when you texted me, I felt so relieved. And when you came back and kissed me, I thought about how happy I was. I just kept telling myself that I could let myself feel these things as long as I left.”

Mark had smiled and then frowned. Happy to hear that Jinyoung’s feelings were real but upset that his intentions were still bad.

“But then even when you gave me head, I wanted to stay. Not because it was an amazing blowjob, because fuck Mark, you seriously do give great head,” He grinned at the brunette and Mark smiled back, happy with the compliment. “But because what I felt for you was more than wanting you sexually. I wanted every part of you. Every part that you showed me, I loved. I was greedy, I felt myself falling for you and even then I stayed.”

The rapper’s eyes got wide at the mention of love. Did he hear what he thought he heard?

“I started to tell myself that I didn’t want to leave. That I didn’t need to, because you were different. I could see it, the way that you looked at me, I could see you falling for me too. But then,” He sighed, his eyebrows furrowing. “But then Jackson had to go and say that. It freaked me out. It freaked me out so much but I thought that as long as you thought it was a joke, that we weren’t that serious, that it would be fine. But no, of course not.”

“You called me your boyfriend and I panicked. If we were boyfriends, if we were together, then that meant I couldn’t just up and leave once I got what I had originally wanted,” The expression of his face grew pained, regret etched across his features. “That terrified me, Mark. It took everything I had not to come back and pretend like I was just grabbing you breakfast, because I loved hearing you call me your boyfriend. I wanted to be that for you. I wanted us to be happily in love and to be together without worry. But the idea of commitment and being left again was so consuming that I left before you could leave me.”

Mark had forgotten about the tears from before but remembered when fresh ones fell down his face. He felt like he was getting stabbed, having to hear about the once was. Jinyoung’s hand twitched but must have remembered their deal so he took a deep breath and continued.

“And so I dealt with those feelings the only way I knew how. I picked a random guy who texted me that day and asked him to go to 76 with me. It was plain and simple, I knew the routine by heart, it should have been easy. But it wasn’t, Mark. I didn’t want to sleep with that guy. I wanted to spend my night laughing with you about bad romcoms and buying you fries. So when I saw your face when you saw me with that guy and then saw you leave, I was pissed.”

He saw Mark’s face turn confused and clarified.

“At myself, for doing that to you. I regretted it immediately but told myself that I had fucked up enough and that there was no way I could fix it so I should just sleep with the guy and get my mind off it. But then Jackson yelled at me and I thought, what the fuck am I doing?”

He laughed somberly at himself.

“I ran after you but I couldn’t find you. I went to your place but you weren’t there and you weren’t answering my texts, I was so worried. I ended up calling Jaebum to ask if you were safe and he said yes, yelled my ear off too but said that Youngjae wouldn’t let you talk to me.”

Mark smiled at the thought of Jaebum actually yelling at Jinyoung.

“So I thought I would just talk to you in person, I came every night to 76 but you didn’t show up. And when you did, Youngjae didn’t let me talk to you. I thought I would have to give up. I told Jaebum that and he told me to just write. To get everything out of my system, so I did.”

He glanced over to meet Mark’s eyes, “And you heard what came of that. I decided to sing it as a last ditch effort. I wasn’t even sure if you would come tonight but I thought that the worst thing that could happen is that you heard it and didn’t care. But I still hoped for the best.”

His eyes were steady as he said, “Because I love you, Mark. I’m so in love with you it hurts and I know I messed up and I know I’ll have to deal with that regret my whole life.”

Mark was shocked. He just stood there frozen, not knowing what to say because so much of him wasn’t even sure this was really happening. There was no way that Jinyoung really just said that.

“Now will you please let me wipe away your tears?” Jinyoung asked, practically begging. “I know I don’t deserve it but it’s been killing me see you cry like this.”

Mark nodded, giving his permission and Jinyoung took it. He stepped forward and brushed his cold fingers against Mark’s soft skin and the brunette melted under his touch. More tears fell and Jinyoung’s eyes softened, wiping them away as they fell.

This time, Mark decided to be truthful, “I spent days just crying in bed, asking myself why I let you hurt me.”

Jinyoung opened his mouth and then shut it before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

“Why did I do it, Jinyoung? I knew you only wanted to get laid, why did I let myself fall for you?” Mark asked, feeling his cries turn into sobs.

Before he knew it, Jinyoung had his arms wrapped around him and Mark let himself press his face into his neck. 

“I was so fucking stupid, I thought you cared for me,” He sobbed, clinging to Jinyoung’s jacket.

“I do,” Was Jinyoung’s soft response.

Mark shook his head, “I know, that’s why it hurts so much.”

He felt Jinyoung’s soothing hand card through his hair and it only made Mark cry harder.

“Fuck, Jinyoung,” He said. “Why did you have to leave?”

The older’s bitter laugh rolled through his chest, “Because I’m the dumbest person on the planet. I had you, the best most amazing guy and I let you go.”

“You’re really fucking dumb.”

This time Jinyoung laughed for real, “I know.”

“Do you know how hard I tried to get over you?” Mark asked, his fingers curling around the fabric of Jinyoung’s jacket.

“And did you?” Was all Jinyoung asked.

Mark shook his head no. He could feel Jinyoung breathe out a breath that Mark hadn’t known he was holding. “I’m too goddamn in love with you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jinyoung said, his voice full of regret.

“You should be.”

Jinyoung took another deep breath, “So what can I do to make it up to you?”

The brunette pulled back to look at Jinyoung in the eyes. He said with as straight of a face he could make, “Be my boyfriend.”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened, “What?”

“Be my boyfriend,” Mark said again, as plain as day. “If you regret hurting me so much, prove it to me.”

A grin spread across Jinyoung’s lips and touched all of his features, “Okay.”

But Mark pushed him back a little, showing him that he was serious, “But you have to promise to never leave me again.”

Jinyoung’s grin got wider, “I won’t, I promise. I would be the dumbest person to ever exist if I did that.”

“You’re damn right,” Mark smiled.

“I promise to never leave you, I will be yours until you no longer want me,” Jinyoung promised sincerely. 

“Good.”

Jinyoung reached out and touched Mark’s jaw, “Can I kiss you now?”

After Mark nodded, the older pressed his lips against Mark’s ever so gently, waiting for the other to respond. Once Mark did, he kissed him with more meaning. Mark could feel all the love and happiness that radiated from the kiss, he could feel everything that Jinyoung hadn’t put into words. 

And Mark had missed this so much. He felt the hole in his heart mend as his heart jumped for joy. He was in love. He was in love and Jinyoung loved him back. They, together, were in love.

As soon as they broke apart, Mark said, “Say it again.”

Bewildered, Jinyoung asked, “That I’m the dumbest person alive?”

“No, no,” Mark said, wrapping his arms around Jinyoung’s neck. “The other thing.”

“Oh,” Jinyoung smiled. “That I love you? Because I do. I love you so much.”

Mark beamed, “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case you were wondering, that song was 예뻤어 (you were beautiful) by day6! our wonderful irl jinyoung covered it with jaebum (with a little help from mark too): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJTXV33XmsQ
> 
> also! when I was writing the singing to sleep part a couple chapters back, I was thinking of jinyoung's solo song from verse 2. if you haven't had your ears blessed by that song, I highly recommend!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8QRz8mSL5k
> 
> much love to all of you, thank you for reading (no this isn't the end don't worry, I still owe you smut)


	7. starting over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was so hard to write, mostly because I hate writing smut and theres....well theres a LOT of it in this chapter. I changed the tags bc of it lololol
> 
> so if you don't like smut, maybe just skip this whole chapter because this is basically just 10k of pure smut with some cute moments thrown in.

They smiled at each other for a second before Mark said, “Now take me home, I’m freezing.”

Parting from their embrace, Mark remembered how cold it was and started shivering. Jinyoung took off his jacket without hesitation and even though the rapper tried to reject the offer, stating that then he would be cold, Jinyoung only smiled and put the jacket over Mark’s shoulders.

Mark hesitantly put it on, as he really was cold but didn’t like that in doing so, Jinyoung would be cold .

The producer must have noticed the pause because he said, “We only have a few blocks to walk, it’s okay.”

But Mark frowned, still worried but happy to feel the warmth radiating from the jacket. It smelt like vanilla and the rapper found solace at the familiar scent. 

Jinyoung took his hand and squeezed it, “Don’t worry about me, okay?”

He nodded, knowing that had already been defeated as the two started walking towards Mark’s apartment. 

It felt odd walking with Jinyoung again. After walking home alone every night, Mark had to keep telling himself over and over that something like this would never happen again. At the time, it had been hard to not imagine Jinyoung next to him. But now he was here again and it was as if nothing changed.

Once they got to Mark’s familiar doorstep, the younger said, “Can you stay the night? I think you owe me a morning.”

Jinyoung’s smile widened, “Of course.”

As they entered the building, Mark looked back to say, “And since you mentioned it, can I get that breakfast too?”

Behind him, Jinyoung laughed and said, “Sure, I’ll make you breakfast and everything.”

“Make me breakfast?” Mark eyed his boyfriend suspiciously. “I didn’t know you cooked.”

As they stepped foot into the rapper’s apartment, Jinyoung surprised Mark by taking off his coat for him and putting it on a hook behind the door. 

“I’m a man of many talents,” Jinyoung claimed with a smile. “And plus breakfast food is easy to make.”

Mark considered that for a moment and then nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. Pancakes are pretty easy.”

Following the younger to his bedroom, Jinyoung laughed, “Of course you like pancakes.”

His boyfriend turned back and pretended to frown at him, “Why is that funny?”

“Because you like food that’s as sweet as you.”

Mark snorted as they entered his room, “Is this what dating you is like? Cheesy one-liners?”

Stopping, Jinyoung grabbed his hand and dragged Mark close, “I guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

Wrapping his arms around Jinyoung’s neck, Mark let himself be pulled closer so that their chests were touching. He pouted and said, “I don’t like waiting.”

One of Jinyoung’s eyebrows raised, “Is that so?”

The rapper nodded, “I’m more of a show and tell than a wait and see kind of guy.”

Jinyoung leaned in for a quick kiss before asking, “Oh yeah? What changed?”

“You.”

It was a simple response but it held multiple meanings. Mark wouldn’t have been as cautious if Jinyoung didn’t have a reputation and he would have been much more upfront with his wants and feelings if he hadn’t been worried about Jinyoung leaving. Another part was that Jinyoung himself actually changed and that made Mark feel more comfortable around him, no longer held back by doubt and free to be honest with not only himself but with Jinyoung.

The producer looked at him with earnest eyes. They were as clear as day, only holding affection. That other emotion that had clouded Jinyoung’s eyes before was gone. It was then that Mark realized what it was: fear. Usually at a time like this, when Mark was being honest with him, putting himself out on ledge, that Mark would see the flash of fear. 

He didn’t know why he hadn’t understood before, that Jinyoung was scared of having feelings and being reminded of them. But now, as he reached up to cup Mark’s cheek and to kiss his lips softly, Mark didn’t see that fear. He didn’t feel it either and the brunette wondered if he ever would again.

It wasn’t that he trusted Jinyoung completely, how could he? Two hours ago and he would have still been trying to hide his tears, but now that the other had opened up to him, Mark felt better. 

He still wanted Jinyoung to prove his love, little by little. It didn’t have to be in grand gestures, it could be in moments like this when Mark couldn’t find any reason for an ulterior motive for Jinyoung kissing him as tenderly as he was. Or how soft his expression was when he pulled back and said, “Was that a good enough show? Or should I add some more tell?”

Mark felt himself laughing at the ridiculousness of it all but he played along, “I think I need more show.”  
“Can do,” Was all Jinyoung said as he picked Mark up. The rapper let himself wrap his legs around his boyfriend’s waist and tightened his arms around Jinyoung’s neck in the attempt to not fall. Mark knew Jinyoung wouldn’t drop him but it was a good excuse to nuzzle his face into his boyfriend’s neck. 

He missed doing that. He missed the smell of vanilla and the warmth that came from being this close to Jinyoung. His boyfriend had one hand under his thighs and the other across his back, securing Mark in his arms. 

The journey to the bed must have been short because Mark felt himself being laid down softly on top of his duvet. But because the brunette had been unwilling to let go of Jinyoung at all, the older was just as close as before. 

Jinyoung made an attempt to lean back but Mark only tightened his legs around Jinyoung’s hips, making sure he wasn’t going to go anywhere. He felt Jinyoung’s laughter vibrate through his chest and his smile against his neck that turned into a soft kiss. 

“You really don’t want me to go anywhere, do you?” Jinyoung asked, amusement tinting his voice.

The brunette shook his head.

“Baby,” Mark felt his heart flip at the pet name, forgetting how much he loved hearing it. “I’m sleeping over, I’m not going to leave.”

“I know,” The brunette mumbled. “I just miss feeling surrounded by you, I miss you being this close.”

Jinyoung slowly moved up to face him and Mark decided to let him. The older pushed back Mark’s hair and then placed his hand on the side of the younger’s cheek, kissing his forehead. Mark couldn’t help but smile, loosening his hold on Jinyoung. His boyfriend nuzzled his nose before saying, “I’ll be as close as you want me.”

The rapper took this as an opportunity to move his arms from around Jinyoung’s neck and instead place a hand on his jaw, drawing him in for a kiss. Even though Mark just had Jinyoung’s lips on his, this time felt different. 

It wasn’t just a quick press of the lips like before, this time Mark let himself get carried away. He got lost in the feeling of it all, relishing how he could feel Jinyoung’s heart beating against his. He snaked a hand up to the back of Jinyoung’s neck and his fingers slid through the short hair there. Mark just wanted to touch and feel everything he missed in the last two weeks.

He was happy when the kiss started deepening, Mark didn’t want Jinyoung to ever pull away. Out of habit, Mark found himself tightening his legs around his boyfriend’s hips, pushing Jinyoung against him. He could feel his boyfriend smiling against his lips and then grinding down on him. Mark gripped at his hair and slid his other hand under Jinyoung’s shirt, feeling the soft skin there. 

Jinyoung took this as his cue to start placing kisses down his neck. He started paying attention to a certain spot in particular, digging his teeth in and if Mark hadn’t let out an involuntary moan, he would grinning that Jinyoung still remembered where he was most sensitive. 

As the producer sunk his teeth in deeper, Mark found himself clinging to Jinyoung’s shirt and pulling on it. Jinyoung’s biting stopped, replaced with a chaste kiss before moving to pull off his shirt. At the lack of contact, Mark whined and scratched at Jinyoung’s chest, wanting more. 

Jinyoung kissed his jaw before connecting their lips again and pulled up Mark’s shirt. When Mark started whining again once his boyfriend moved away to get Mark’s shirt over his head, Jinyoung just laughed and said, “You’re so cute when you’re needy.”

The brunette pouted and reached for Jinyoung but the older evaded his touch and instead grabbed Mark’s hands to hold them above his head. Mark’s eyes widened and he tried to wiggle his hands free but Jinyoung’s grip was strong and his eyes were playful. He seemed to be waiting for something.

Having enough of not being able to touch or being touched, Mark complained, “Jinyoung.”

But the older only raised an eyebrow.

Mark raised his hips to gain friction against Jinyoung’s and felt a whimper bubble up, “Please.”

“Please, what?” Jinyoung questioned, his voice was low and demanding but an edge of playfulness was still present. 

“I-I want,” But then Mark stopped after hearing how needy his voice sounded. He knew his cheeks were pink and tried to look away in embarrassment but Jinyoung placed a hand under his chin and coaxed him back into looking at him.

“What do you want, baby?” He said and Mark saw how much affection was shining in his eyes. They were warm but dark at the same time and the brunette felt compelled to reply. “I’ll give you anything.”

“I want more,” Mark felt himself saying without a second thought. He knew how he sounded, he knew he was practically begging at this point, but it felt good. He liked Jinyoung’s eyes on him, he liked the attention. “Please, just touch me.”

And just like that, Jinyoung released his hands and Mark immediately pulled him close and kissed him. It was rushed and wanting, it felt like begging in the form of a kiss. Mark didn’t want a second where he wasn’t being touched, he wanted to feel Jinyoung all around him.

It was as if the older could read his mind because Jinyoung’s hand trailed down his body, leaving Mark’s skin warm wherever he touched. Once his fingers started working on the button of Mark’s jeans, the younger’s lips paused. 

“Is this okay?” Jinyoung asked, his lips brushing against Mark’s mouth.

Nodding, Mark breathed, “Please.”

Giving the younger one last kiss before leaning back, Jinyoung said, “Anything for you.”

He settled between Mark’s legs, not wasting time as he unzipped the brunette’s jeans and slid them off, taking everything with them. Mark watched as his boyfriend’s gaze roamed his body and he felt small under such a powerful stare. He tried to close his legs but Jinyoung only pushed them open farther.

Jinyoung’s hands wandered down the brunette’s sides as if he was trying to remember every inch of him with just touch. His hands started roaming farther down and then settled on Mark’s thighs, his thumb brushing gently against Mark’s skin. 

The touch felt good and after Jinyoung proved to him that he wasn’t going to stop, Mark liked the appreciative look that his boyfriend was giving him. His eyes were lustful but also full of love and Mark felt content with that. He didn’t feel like a toy nor did he feel like he was being treated as such.

“You’re so beautiful,” Jinyoung said, his thumbs now rubbing circles into Mark’s inner thighs. “So damn beautiful.”

Mark smiled at those words but started to feel restless. Even though his boyfriend was touching him, he couldn’t help himself from feeling like it wasn’t enough. He knew he was leaking, he could feel it pooling on his stomach. He wanted to be touched, he needed it. 

So he resorted to trying to lift his hips and whining but Jinyoung only smirked and pushed his hips back down. 

“Does baby boy want to be touched?” As soon as the words were out of Jinyoung’s mouth, Mark’s jaw dropped. He had never been called that before and it gave him goosebumps. He loved it. He wanted to hear it again. 

“P-Please,” He begged, licking his lips. They felt too dry now that Jinyoung wasn’t kissing them.

Jinyoung’s eyes left his and started looking around, “Babe, where’s your lube?”

Lube? Mark felt a tingle down his spine. He wasn’t sure where this was going but he was sure he wanted it. “Drawer.”

The older lifted up Mark’s hand and kissed his palm, “Thank you.”

He got up to grab it and the rapper felt cold as soon as Jinyoung’s touch left him. But he came back quickly, finding his place between Mark’s legs again. The younger watched quietly as his boyfriend rubbed lube between his fingers, warming it up. He was glad that Jinyoung was quick because Mark wasn’t feeling particularly patient. 

Jinyoung lowered his hand so that his coated finger was hovering over Mark’s entrance and rubbed at his thigh with his other hand to get the rapper’s full attention. “Is this still okay?”

At any other time, Mark would appreciate his boyfriend’s cautiousness but at the moment he just wanted to be touched so he nodded quickly. And then he felt Jinyoung’s fingers rubbing circles at his hole, coaxing him to relax before one slipped in.

A little gasp escaped his lips and Mark started to feel warm as he felt Jinyoung’s finger slide deeper into him. The brunette took it easily as his mind was focused more on want than pain. But there really wasn’t much pain to begin with as Jinyoung was being slow and gentle with him. 

After a little, Jinyoung added a second finger and watched Mark’s reaction closely. But when Mark only smiled, the older started moving his fingers again. And it felt good, really good. Jinyoung had been going slow before, making sure that Mark had felt comfortable but now he was teasing.

Mark knew that Jinyoung had found his spot minutes ago but his boyfriend had still yet to touch it directly. Instead his fingers would move against the area around it and every once in awhile Jinyoung would lightly ghost his fingers over it. It was so purposeful that Mark knew he was being played with. 

Especially since each time that Jinyoung would just barely touch him there, he would inhale sharply. Above him, his boyfriend would just grin. But Mark couldn’t take the torture anymore, he had started to get off on just the light touches and he wanted the real thing. 

“Stop teasing me,” He whimpered, reaching out for the arm that was holding onto his hip.

Jinyoung looked satisfied at hearing Mark’s small, unsteady voice but did the same thing as before: rubbing around it but not directly hitting it. Mark’s heart was racing in anticipation. Every time that Jinyoung almost touched him, his heart beat faster. He just wanted to be touched so badly.

“Please,” He begged, looking into Jinyoung’s dark eyes. And it made him wonder how it would feel if Jinyoung gave him everything. If just slight teasing worked him up and got him begging, what would it feel if he got more? “Please just--”

And his eyes rolled back as Jinyoung finally gave in, hitting it spot on. Mark knew he was moaning, knew that with each thrust of Jinyoung’s finger that he was getting louder but he didn’t care. It felt so good. To have gotten almost nothing to everything all at once, Mark felt like his skin was on fire. 

Mark didn’t need to look at Jinyoung to know he was being watched, to know that his boyfriend’s eyes were dark and heavy. It was just his fingers inside him, abusing his spot continuously since he first touched it but Mark started to feel his stomach tighten. 

His nails were digging into Jinyoung’s arm and just as he felt like he was almost there, Mark said, “Wait, stop.”

Jinyoung’s expression became concerned and his fingers froze. He opened his mouth to probably ask Mark if he was okay but the brunette just shook his head.

He felt his cheeks warm as he looked away. “I was going to come.”

His boyfriend’s eyes widened in surprise, “You can come just from this?”

Mark nodded and Jinyoung’s fingers started to slowly move inside him, still rubbing at the same area. He stopped Jinyoung from letting him come because he thought they were going to go further but then he met Jinyoung’s gaze. 

His eyes were certainly full of lust and want, but they were just as warm as before. And if Mark thought about it, Jinyoung hadn’t been stretching him at all. It was only enough to get another finger in. This wasn’t just a tedious step that was needed to move on, this was for Mark’s pleasure. 

Mark had asked him to show him what it was like to date him and while it had been a joke, Jinyoung had taken it seriously. He was showing the brunette that he wasn’t going to rush him, that he truly cared for him and wanted to make him happy. In Mark’s wrecked state, he would have easily said yes to going further but Jinyoung never asked. It had never been the plan to begin with.

His boyfriend’s fingers started moving faster and Mark gripped his arm again. The repeated pressure was getting to be too much and he knew he was close. All he could feel was Jinyoung’s fingers moving inside him, Mark barely noticed the soft lips on his neck encouraging him as he moaned louder.

“Are you going to come for me, baby?” He heard Jinyoung whisper and that want to please him flooded over him. He was sure that Jinyoung’s arm was going to have marks on them tomorrow as his nails dug even deeper into the skin. “Are you going to be a good boy?”

Hearing those words that he had missed so much took him over the edge. His back arched and his eyes rolled back as he came. Jinyoung’s fingers didn’t stop, milking him through the orgasm. As Mark was coming down he heard Jinyoung whispering, “So good for me, such a good boy,” and smiled lazily. He hadn’t done anything but come and yet Jinyoung was making him feel proud of himself. He felt loved and cared for. He felt happy. 

Eventually, Jinyoung moved away and took out his fingers. Mark wanted to whine and complain, he felt so empty without something inside him but then he saw the bulge in his boyfriend’s pants and remembered how he hadn’t gotten off yet. 

He watched as Jinyoung lowered his pants, exposing himself and Mark was about to offer his mouth or hand when his boyfriend asked, “Would you mind if I came on you?”

In his post-orgasm haze, Mark was happy to shake his head. He really wasn’t in the state to do anything anyways. And some part of him was excited, he wanted to watch Jinyoung come. Mark saw the precum that had surfaced and if he didn’t feel as worn out, he would have been eager to lick it up and taste him.

Jinyoung’s strokes got faster and it wasn’t very long before he was coming. It landed in warm stripes across Mark’s stomach, blending in with the cum that was already there. 

He kissed Mark’s lips briefly before getting up and coming back was a damp towel to clean him off. Afterwards, he laid next to Mark and kissed his forehead again.

“I can’t believe you can come untouched,” He said, wrapping his arms around the brunette.

Mark felt himself blush and Jinyoung grinned, kissing his cheek, “Don’t get all embarrassed, it was like the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

The pride from before came back and Mark smiled as he got comfortable in Jinyoung’s arms, laying his head on his boyfriend’s chest. He closed his eyes and stretched his arm out over Jinyoung’s torso, enjoying how good he felt in that moment. 

He felt Jinyoung’s fingers slip between his and smiled. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” There was no hesitance in the other’s voice, only certainty. 

 

When Mark woke up the next day, the first thing he noticed was the warmth that surrounded him. The second thing was Jinyoung’s heartbeat. It was slow and calm and thumped against his ear. The third was the hand that carded through his hair rhythmically. 

And then the memories of last night came flooding in and Mark remembered everything. He remembered how Jinyoung had wrote him a song and confessed to him. How had agreed to be Mark’s boyfriend, how he went home with him, how he carried him to bed and teased him until he finally let Mark come. 

And now he was still here.

Mark squeezed Jinyoung’s torso in contentment, happy to find Jinyoung there with him. Even though the producer had said that the would stay multiple times, there was still that little voice in the back of Mark’s mind that said to not expect anything. He was happy to be proven wrong. 

He felt those familiar lips press into his hair and all felt right in the world. 

“Goodmorning, baby,” He heard from above him. Mark lifted his head and saw Jinyoung looking at him with a soft smile. 

“Hi,” Mark said before bringing their lips together for a chaste kiss. Jinyoung’s smile got wider as he cupped the rapper’s jaw, “Hi.”

Mark moved so he was sitting on top of him, his hands on his boyfriend’s chest. “You’re not busy today, right?”

Jinyoung shook his head, “Nope, I’m all yours.”

The younger grinned brightly, not missing the double meaning. It felt good to be reminded that he was loved, that all of this was actually real. That he was Jinyoung’s and that Jinyoung was his. 

Maybe it was because it was the morning but Mark felt soft and sentimental staring into his boyfriend’s eyes as Jinyoung played with his fingers. 

“Good,” Mark said and he felt himself admitting, “I didn’t want you to leave.”

Jinyoung flipped them over and cupped the brunette’s jaw, “I won’t leave until you tell me to.”

At those words, Mark beamed, his eyes probably sparkling. His boyfriend took in his expression and his own eyes turned soft. Jinyoung leaned in to kiss him just as softly and Mark felt like he was floating. 

This was the morning that he had wished for before, but never got. Just him and Jinyoung with nothing but love growing between them, and now he has that. The kiss continued but it didn’t stray from anything but sweetness. If Mark was feeling sentimental before, he was feeling absolutely saccharine now. 

He wasn’t sure if it was just being this close to Jinyoung or the fact that they were both naked but he felt himself getting hard and he wasn’t the only one. Mark could feel Jinyoung’s hardness on his thigh and rubbed against him. 

Jinyoung seemed to get the message as he grinded down onto Mark and as good as that felt, the rapper whined and said, “I want the real thing.”

“Are you sure?” Jinyoung asked, his thumb gliding across Mark’s jaw. 

Mark nodded. He trusted Jinyoung, he wanted to go farther with him. He wanted to feel as close to Jinyoung as possible. 

His boyfriend stopped to look into his eyes, searching his face to make sure Mark meant it before searching for the lube again. He went back to kissing the brunette again as he worked him open. Although he was still gentle and made sure Mark felt good, there was a clear difference in the way that Jinyoung’s fingers moved the night before to this time. 

It was obvious that Jinyoung was stretching him and preparing him for something bigger as he added a third finger. Jinyoung was going slow this time, being cautious and affectionate and Mark for once didn’t mind. He let his boyfriend take his time. 

Instead of it being a hindrance, it felt like a romantic gesture that Jinyoung cared to prepare him this well. That he didn’t want to hurt Mark. The younger was smiling into the kiss just from the thought of it and Jinyoung broke away to ask, “What are you smiling about?”

Mark knew his eyes had to have been glimmering as he said, “You love me.”

“Aww, baby,” Jinyoung cooed, brushing one of Mark’s hairs back into place. “Of course I love you.”

The brunette brought his hand up to touch the side of Jinyoung’s face, “But I can feel it.”

Jinyoung leaned in to connect their lips again before saying, “I’m glad, my love. Are you ready?”

Mark nodded and waited for Jinyoung to put the condom on. He did it all one handed, even tearing the wrapper open with his teeth just so that he could keep his fingers inside Mark. The rapper smiled at the idea that Jinyoung remembered that Mark didn’t like it when Jinyoung was far from him.

Soon enough, Jinyoung took his place between Mark’s legs again. The brunette’s knees were bent at Jinyoung’s sides and the older kissed them both, making Mark smile again. There was affection in every aspect of this, no room for Mark’s familiar doubts. 

As Jinyoung entered him, Mark gasped at the feeling and instinctively went to cover his mouth but his boyfriend gently took his hand away and intertwined their fingers just like before. Mark could feel his heart steadily thump in his chest, no anxiety present. 

Even though Jinyoung picked up the pace, it was still on the slower side. When Jinyoung wasn’t tenderly kissing his lips, he was kissing Mark’s cheeks, nose and forehead. And that’s when Mark realized that this wasn’t just sex. He knew that their relationship had grown into more than that, especially after their confessions but still, this wasn’t expected. Jinyoung was making love to him. 

Jinyoung dipped his head to kiss Mark’s shoulder and to say, “I know I keep saying that I love you, but you really do mean the world to me.”

Below him, Mark wrapped his arms around Jinyoung, hugging him close and patiently listening.

“If my feelings weren’t this strong for you, if I hadn’t felt completely lost without you, I would have gave up weeks ago,” Jinyoung confessed, kissing wherever his lips could touch. “You’re everything to me, Mark. Everything.”

His words were so honest and Mark could tell that Jinyoung really meant them. It took a lot to will away the tears that had threatened to fall. He was too emotional for his own good, he smiled to himself. 

“You mean just as much to me,” He said, kissing the side of Jinyoung’s neck that was exposed. “My mind had given up on you, but my heart never did. It knew it belonged to you.”

“I could tell, that’s why I didn’t stop trying,” Jinyoung murmured. He moved back to face Mark, his expression gentle but so serious as he said, “I will do anything for you, I mean that.”

But Mark couldn’t stop himself this time and a single tear dropped. 

“I love you,” Was all he could manage without completely losing it.

At first Jinyoung had looked concerned but after Mark’s words he smiled and wiped away his boyfriend’s tear. “I love you too.”

After that, Jinyoung went back to kissing him. His thrusts were faster and Mark felt the familiar pressure building. He was happy that his boyfriend never attempted to pull away from Mark’s embrace, Jinyoung seemed to like being this close to him too. 

They ended up coming together, looking into each other’s eyes. Mark had never felt more at peace. 

Afterwards, Jinyoung laid with him until the brunette had enough energy to shower. The older spent the whole time kissing his lips and hair and cheeks and neck and shoulders as the water poured over them. He was just tender with this as he had been in bed. Jinyoung made sure every part of him was clean before slipping out to start their breakfast. 

Even though Mark didn’t need to stay in the shower any longer, Jinyoung had even washed his hair for him, he stayed just because. Enjoying the feeling of post-sex haziness and the comfort of warm water.

Eventually, he got out and dried himself off. After changing, Mark walked to his kitchen to find Jinyoung. As he walked towards him, he peeked at the stove to see that pancakes were in fact being made and smiled. Jinyoung really did keep up on his promise. 

“How was your shower?” His boyfriend asked and Mark backhugged him, wrapping his arms around Jinyoung’s torso. 

“Good, thanks to you,” Mark replied, pressing his cheek against Jinyoung’s shoulder and smiling happily. He got up on his tippy toes to see over his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

He saw that Jinyoung was cutting up strawberries. His fingers swiftly working to cut off the top and then slice them into thinly cut strips. Jinyoung must have noticed Mark’s chin on his shoulder because he said, “They’re for the pancakes.”

“How did you know I liked strawberries?” Mark asked, mesmerized with watching his boyfriend’s hands move. 

He felt Jinyoung laugh and say, “Because half of the food in your fridge are strawberries.”

Mark’s cheeks reddened, going grocery shopping hadn’t really been on his mind recently so Youngjae had been bringing him food over to keep him fed. But the only thing that Mark had the will to eat had been pizza and strawberries, with the occasional milkshake, so that’s all Youngjae ever brought over. 

“I was surprised to see only one thing of ice cream in your freezer, I thought with your milkshake addiction that you would have more,” The producer joked, grinning at Mark. 

The younger frowned and said, “No, that was Youngjae’s only way to get me out of the house so he didn’t let me keep it here.”

Jinyoung’s hands froze and he asked cautiously, “You didn’t leave the house?”

Behind him, Mark tightened his arms and shook his head, rubbing his chin against the back of Jinyoung’s shoulder. “You broke my heart.”

Without giving the younger a second to think about what he said, Jinyoung set the knife down and turned around to hug Mark. His arms enveloped Mark and pressed him tightly against his chest. Habitually, Mark pressed his face into Jinyoung’s neck for comfort.

“I’m so sorry,” He apologized sincerely. “I’m so sorry that I did that to you, I will always regret it.”

Mark shrugged. While it had hurt a lot, he had forgiven Jinyoung. He didn’t think that Jinyoung should torture himself over it now. “You’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

The older cupped his cheeks and Mark smiled at the warm touch, letting himself melt into his hands. 

“I love you, you know that right?” Jinyoung said, his eyes soft and his voice softer. 

Mark nodded into his hands, the older had made that pretty clear an hour ago, “I know, but if you burn those pancakes I’ll start doubting it.”

He laughed as Jinyoung’s expression sank, and then stuck out his tongue. Clearly Mark thought his joke was funnier than Jinyoung but he was still laughing.

“Whatever, 5 year old,” His boyfriend said as he moved to flip over the pancakes that, to Mark’s happiness, were not burnt. 

The brunette pretended to take offense as he crossed his arms, “I thought I was 4, thank you very much.”

At that, Jinyoung smiled and said under his breath, “Can’t believe I’m dating you.”

Playfully, Mark pouted and said, “I thought you loved me.”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Jinyoung picked his boyfriend up and sat him down on the counter next to the strawberries. Mark parted his legs so that Jinyoung could get closer, resting his arms on the older’s shoulders. Jinyoung leaned in for a kiss before saying, “Yeah, for some reason.”

His tone was teasing and Mark beamed as he watched Jinyoung cut up the remainder of the strawberries. 

Their breakfast was exactly what Mark had wanted. Jinyoung hadn’t lied when he said that he could cook. He even made the pancakes look pretty and professional topped with perfectly placed strawberries and syrup drizzled over it all. Jinyoung’s face fell after Mark thanked him and then drowned his plate in syrup. “How can you even taste the pancakes like that?”

Cutting off a big piece and eating it all in one bite, Mark chewed happily and said, “It’s just better this way.”

Brushing some syrup off the brunette’s lip, Jinyoung’s eyes glinted with amusement as he said, “Whatever makes you happy, my love.”

Mark only grinned back, cutting up more bites to eat. He saw the way that Jinyoung had been looking at him throughout the breakfast and he thought it was similar to how the producer had looked at him before but decided against it.

It was different now. Yes, he still smiled at him with warm eyes and yes, Jinyoung’s eyes lit up when Mark looked at him or laughed at something he said, but it was different. 

Before it felt like Mark was seeing Jinyoung through a lens. Constantly worried about what this or that meant, worried about what he said or shouldn’t say. He was always back and forth between wanting to analyze Jinyoung’s looks and actions and trying to pretend like he didn’t notice them.

But now here he was, seeing everything. Jinyoung’s eyes were constantly warm and there wasn’t an ounce of fear in them. Nothing was clouding them, his feeling were clear and on full display for Mark to see. He didn’t have to analyze anything because Jinyoung was telling him through little actions and long words how he felt. 

It was a relief. 

A part of Mark wondered how much would really change after the confession and maybe not much had really changed at all, but Mark had still been looking. It comforted him to not be able to find much. 

Youngjae had called Mark later on and his voice told Mark everything he needed to know. 

“Hey, how are you doing?” The younger had asked, but his voice was hesitant and cautious, like he was waiting to hear the worst. 

“Good,” Mark replied honestly. He was good. That piece of him that had belonged to Jinyoung and left an aching hole in his heart had healed. It wasn’t that the piece of him had come back to him, per say. It still belonged to the man with his head in Mark’s lap, scrolling through social media, but now that Jinyoung was with him, his heart was happy. 

Apparently that was not the response that Youngjae was expected because he said, “G-Good?”

“Mhm,” Mark said to Youngjae before pointing to his coffee table, “Hey babe, can you hand me that water?”

Jinyoung moved to give the glass to Mark and the younger thanked him. If he wasn’t preoccupied he probably would have thought about how that was his first time calling Jinyoung babe.

The line was silent and the rapper started to worry that he had missed Youngjae’s response but then he heard his best friend ask, “Are you with someone?”

“Yeah,” Mark replied, now starting to feel worried about what Youngjae might think. He had forgotten how against Jinyoung his best friend had become. 

His boyfriend in question must have noticed Mark’s change in tone because he looked up from his phone, concern etched in his features. To soothe his worry, the brunette brushed his thumb against Jinyoung’s jaw. 

“With who?” Mark could hear Youngjae’s apprehension and bit his lip. 

Below him, Jinyoung had covered Mark’s hand with his, bringing Mark’s hand to his lips to kiss it before intertwining their fingers and placing their hands on his chest. In response, the rapper grinned and squeezed Jinyoung’s hand.

“Jinyoung,” Mark said, a little less nervous than before with his boyfriend’s unknowing support. “He stayed the night.”

It didn’t take long for Youngjae to ask, “Did you sleep with him?”

“Y-Yes,” Mark stuttered, not expecting such a direct question. 

He could practically hear Youngjae thinking, weighing the pros and cons, “So you’re back together?”

“Yep.”

There was a pause before Youngjae said, “Well you can tell me all about it at lunch in an hour.”

Mark laughed, this was the Youngjae he knew. He hoped that meant that his friend wasn’t upset with him. “When did I consent to this?”

“Just now,” Youngjae said, probably with a big smile on his face. “Bring Jinyoung, I want to see if he’s forreal.”

Mark rolled his eyes but smiled anyways, “Okay, okay, I’ll see you soon.”

Once they hung up, Jinyoung asked, “Youngjae?”

“Yeah, he wants us to go to lunch with him and probably Jaebum,” Mark explained. He looked at Jinyoung who was wearing the same thing from the night before and suggested, “We can stop by your place first if you want to change.”

The producer sat up and said, “Sure, I’d have to grab my glasses anyways if I wanted to actually read the menu anyways.”

“I’d read it for you,” Mark said, squeezing his hand again.

A smile tugged on Jinyoung’s lips as he said, “Aww, babe you’re so sweet.”

Mark beamed and kissed his boyfriend, feeling his heart flutter at how natural all of this felt. “As sweet as all the syrup I had for breakfast?”

Shaking his head and pulling Mark up from the couch, Jinyoung said, “Next time, should I just prepare a bowl of maple syrup for you?”

Pretending to be upset, the brunette pouted and said, “No, I liked the pancakes.”

“Good,” Jinyoung replied, kissing Mark’s cheek as they walked to the brunette’s bedroom.

 

The younger was grabbing a hoodie from his closet when Jinyoung asked, “Did you want to sleep over tonight? You could drop some stuff off at my place before we go to lunch.”

From the closet, Mark turned to look at Jinyoung who was sitting on his bed. He hadn’t been expecting that question, in all honesty he hadn’t thought that far ahead yet. Was that going to be a thing? Was Jinyoung going to sleep over all the time now? Were most of his nights going to end in bed with Jinyoung? It wasn’t like Mark had any objection, he just hadn’t thought about it. 

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Mark decided, grabbing for something to put clothes in. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jinyoung exhale as if he had been holding his breath and smiled. Was Jinyoung worried about asking that question? He thought it was cute that Mark’s approval made him nervous. 

Leaving his apartment hand in hand with his boyfriend had Mark feeling so domestic. He was so happy and he hoped this feeling would last.

 

When they walked up to the booth that Youngjae and Jaebum were at, the youngest narrowed his eyes at them. Jaebum’s arm was around his shoulder and Youngjae was leaning his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Ah, there they are. The traitors.”

Jaebum looked as if he was trying not to laugh as he said, “Babe, be nice.”

“Yeah, Youngjae, be nice,” Mark teased as he sat down with a grin. He was glad that he was back to his old self and could joke around with his best friend again. 

Youngjae crossed his arms, “Okay fine, Mark’s off the hook but I’m still suspicious of Jinyoung.”

“Oh, come on,” Mark said as the waitress put water glasses on the table for them. 

But the younger didn’t budge, “If he doesn’t prove that he’s worth your time, I’m cutting him off from seeing you. I don’t want to have to pick up your pieces and put you back together ever again.”

Hearing Youngjae’s words, Jinyoung frowned but still said, “That’s fair.”

“Ah, so you’re reasonable,” Youngjae assessed, nodding to himself. Next to him, Jaebum was rolling his eyes.

“What, are you going to keep track of all the things he does that you approve of and then give us your verdict?” Mark said, half laughing. He knew Jinyoung would win his best friend over, so he really wasn’t worried at all. If it was obvious to everyone before that Jinyoung really cared about him, now it was going to be more than obvious. 

Looking as if he didn’t see the ridiculousness in that, Youngjae nodded firmly, “Yes.”

Jaebum was smiling fondly at him before turning to Jinyoung, “You should be glad he’s even giving you a chance. If I had to hear one more rant about how you’re a shit person and deserve to feel bad, I think I would have died by now.”

Putting his hands up in surrender, Jinyoung said, “I’m just thankful that Mark has a protective friend that takes such good care of him.”

Across the table, Youngjae narrowed his eyes again at him and said, “A little embellished but I’ll take the compliment.”

“Oh my god,” Mark groaned, letting his head fall into Jinyoung’s shoulder. Above him, Jinyoung’s lips turned up into a smile and he put his arm around the rapper. Anytime that Jinyoung touched him, Mark smiled and this time was no different. He saw Youngjae watching intently so he said, “Just trust him like I trust Jaebum.”

He made eye contact with the other rapper who smiled sincerely at him. Jaebum knew that Mark trusted him because one time Youngjae had accidently let Mark get a little too drunk and Mark had admitted it. He had gone on a tangent on how all men are untrustable and that no one should ever give their heart willingly to a man because they would just take it and run. But when his eyes met with Jaebum, Mark had said, “Not you, I know you would never hurt Jae intentionally.”

Even in his drunken state, he knew that Jaebum understood that he meant it. He was thankful for Jaebum, after all this time it was a relief to not have to worry about Youngjae anymore. 

“You trust him because he’s proven to be trustable,” Youngjae pointed out.

Mark decided to just let it go. Youngjae wasn’t going to change his mind unless he saw proof with his own two eyes.

They went to look at the menus to order after that and Jinyoung leaned in to read over Mark’s shoulder. 

“What are you thinking?” He said, adjusting his glasses.

“Hmm,” Mark hesitated, glancing back and forth between two of the options. “I was thinking either this or that.”

Jinyoung’s eyes followed Mark’s finger as he pointed and nodded, “I was thinking that too, so you should get this one instead and I’ll share the other with you.”

“Okay,” The rapper agreed and Jinyoung kissed his temple. 

After a second, the older asked, “What is your favorite food anyways?”

“Noodles,” Both Mark and Youngjae answered at the same time. The two grinned at each other before Youngjae explained, “He’ll eat anything with noodles: ramyeon, pad thai, udon, pho…”

Mark nodded in agreement, still grinning at the fact that his best friend knows him so well. 

Next to him, Jinyoung smiled, “That makes it easier to decide what to cook you for dinner.”

The rapper’s eyes lit up as he looked to his boyfriend, “You’re making me dinner? But you already made me breakfast.”

Jinyoung shrugged, “People do a lot for the one they love. I would have made you lunch too.”

As Mark’s heart was fluttering, Youngjae was having a heart attack. 

“Wait, wait,” The otter lookalike said, his eyes wide. “You love him?”

Mark looked between his best friend and his boyfriend. One was in shock and the other was barely bothered.

“Of course,” Jinyoung merely said. “I would do anything for him.”

Instead of maintaining eye contact with Youngjae, the producer had looked to Mark to say it. There was a complete truth to his words, it was written all across his face. And in that moment Mark knew that he had made the right choice to trust Jinyoung. This time it wasn’t just his heart speaking, it was his mind too. 

Although Youngjae still seemed very suspicious, he said, “Now I see why Mark forgave you so quickly.”

Mark sighed but Jaebum’s eyes were shining, happy for his best friend. Jinyoung gave him a small smile and his best friend returned it. 

The rest of the lunch consisted of Youngjae watching how Jinyoung interacted with Mark and making little comments here and there. He watched as the producer prepared his chopsticks just like before and fed him from his own. He watched Mark’s face light up with affection every time Jinyoung even glanced at him. He saw how tender Jinyoung treated the younger, making sure he always had everything he needed and even anticipating what he would want before Mark himself knew. He saw the way that Mark melted into the older and how Jinyoung only pulled him closer.

It was like being at the zoo, but all the animals were in love and extremely affectionate. By the end of the lunch, Mark saw Youngjae give him a nod. It was hesitant but he knew that he had his best friend’s approval. 

Mark told Jinyoung that Youngjae had approved of him on their walk home and the older said, “Oh thank god.”

The rapper started laughing and Jinyoung said, “No, seriously! I thought he was never going to trust me!”

“I don’t think he trusts you just yet,” Mark explained and his boyfriend frowned. “But I think he’s warming up to the idea.”

“Well then, that’s good enough for me.”

 

The next morning, Mark had walked into Jinyoung’s kitchen to find his boyfriend making them the breakfast again. It made him smile, he liked how well his boyfriend had been taking care of him. He felt so loved.

But when he saw how tight Jinyoung’s shirt was around his arms, Mark’s pure thoughts of domesticity faded and more sinful ones appeared. As he approached, the rapper couldn’t help but watch Jinyoung’s muscles move as he chopped some sort of vegetable. He didn’t even want to stop himself from staring and he definitely couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and touching said muscles.

Upon feeling the touch, Jinyoung glanced at him with soft eyes but after seeing Mark’s clouded ones his expression changed. “What is it, baby?”

Mark continued to trace the muscles under his fingertips. His lips were slightly parted as he distracted himself and mumbled, “Your arms…”

If he was paying attention he would have seen the smirk that formed on Jinyoung’s lips.

“What about them?” His voice was audibly lower than before. Slowly slipping into the tone that Mark found so familiar. 

Nodding to himself, Mark said, “They’re so big.”

If he had any ounce of shame left, he would probably be embarrassed at how easily turned on he was but at this point there was really no turning back. And it wasn’t like Jinyoung minded, the smirk confirmed that.

He heard Jinyoung say, “You like them?”

Mark’s eyes fluttered up to meet Jinyoung’s and his boyfriend put one hand on his waist and another to brush his thumb over Mark’s bottom lip. Standing there, with Jinyoung staring down at him, Mark felt small. And it only turned him on more. 

He brought his hands to wrap around Jinyoung’s biceps once more. 

“You must have so much strength,” Mark heard himself say, thinking about all the things that Jinyoung could do to him. 

Jinyoung raised his eyebrow in question, but stayed silent as Mark trailed his hand down his arm and grabbed his wrist.

“It would be a shame if you didn’t use it,” He said, slowly looking up through his lashes and he moved his boyfriend’s hand from his jaw to his throat. 

He saw Jinyoung’s eyes widen but his smile grow and suddenly he was being lifted onto the counter again. But this time wasn’t cute and loving like the morning before. Jinyoung was being rough with him and as Mark’s bare back hit the marble underneath him, he started to regret not wearing anything but boxers out of the bedroom. The feelings of being cold were forgotten as Jinyoung pulled his knees apart and wrapped his hands under Mark’s thighs to hold his hips and pull him closer. 

A little gasp escaped the brunette’s lips as he was tugged forward so that he was flesh against Jinyoung’s hips. And then Jinyoung’s shirt was gone and the producer was over him, attacking his neck with his mouth. Mark couldn’t tell if the goosebumps were from his boyfriend’s touch or the cold, probably both. 

Before, Jinyoung had used his teeth on him but he had always used his tongue to soothe over the irritated skin. This time, he didn’t bother. He bit down hard all down Mark’s neck, using his hand to pull the rapper’s hair so that Mark would arch his neck to give him the best access.

This was how Mark had expected Jinyoung to treat him originally, rough and demanding but unlike before they got together, Mark knew he had full control over the situation. If something wasn’t right or if he didn’t like it, Jinyoung would stop without question. He was doing this because Mark had asked for it, and he was doing it well. 

With the way that Jinyoung’s mouth felt against his skin, Mark knew there were going to be marks left over and he looked forward to them. He wanted to be marked as Jinyoung’s, he wanted everyone to know who he belonged to. 

Jinyoung’s bites turned into wet, open-mouthed kisses as he traveled down to Mark’s collarbones, sucking on them harshly once he was there. Every time Jinyoung sucked harder, more moans would leave Mark’s mouth.

While Mark was distracted, Jinyoung started easing off the remainder of his clothes. From there, it wasn’t long before the brunette felt Jinyoung’s wet fingers over his entrance. He wondered where the lube came from but stopped questioning it when a finger slid inside him. 

While Mark could tell that his boyfriend was being careful with him, he was a lot less gentle. He felt the stretch more this time but Jinyoung distracted him with his mouth. Their kiss was rough like everything else and Mark was eating it up. His hands were at the back of Jinyoung’s neck, keeping him there as their lips moved together. 

He barely noticed the second finger and didn’t even know about the third until Mark realized he was moaning into Jinyoung’s mouth. The older was putting pressure in exactly the right place and even with the three fingers it didn’t feel like enough. Mark found himself scratching at the back of Jinyoung’s neck, silently begging.

The older pulled away to kiss under Mark’s ear, “Does my baby boy want more?”

“Y-Yes,” Mark moaned.

And then Jinyoung’s fingers slowed to almost a stop. It was absolute torture. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

All Mark could do was nod, he was trying so hard not to buck against Jinyoung’s fingers. 

But apparently that wasn’t enough for Jinyoung so he lowered his voice an octave and demanded, “Tell me.”

With how slow the fingers inside him were moving, but changing the amount of pressure was being added, Mark was a mess. Jinyoung’s deep, alluring voice being whispered against his ear certainly wasn’t helping. He could barely keep his thoughts straight. All that was on his mind was how badly he wanted Jinyoung inside him. “Yes, yes please fuck me, please.”

One last kiss to the shell of his ear and Jinyoung said, “Good boy.”

At those words, a tingle went down Mark’s spine. When he wasn’t in such a wrecked state, he would probably think that Jinyoung was brainwashing him with those words. They always turned him into jello, wanting to do anything to make the older happy. 

Jinyoung had moved away and was sliding the condom on himself and Mark couldn’t stop himself from staring. His arms weren’t the only thing that were big about him. If he wasn’t about to get fucked, Mark would be on his knees begging Jinyoung to put it in his mouth. 

His boyfriend must have caught him because he laughed and said, “You’re drooling.”

But Mark couldn’t be bothered to blush at being called out, he had been teased enough, “Please just put it in, I want it.”

And so Jinyoung did as he was told, pushing all the way in and Mark whimpered at how big he was. He wasn’t prepped as well as before but Mark was glad, he liked the stretch. The younger saw a flash of concern in his boyfriend’s eyes before Mark wrapped his legs around Jinyoung’s hips and begged, “Move, please, more.”

His grip on Mark’s hips were tight as he started thrusting slowly but the brunette whined and he went faster, starting a rhythm.

“You’re so needy,” Jinyoung commented, his eyes dark but glimmering with amusement.

He thrusted at the right angle and Mark’s back arched and he moaned, “Only for you.”

“That’s right, baby boy,” His boyfriend grinned. “Only for me.”

He kept hitting that spot and Mark kept writhing underneath him. But every time that the younger seemed to be moving too far away, he would drag Mark back by his hips and push himself all the way inside the brunette. It felt so good to be forced down onto him that Mark started sliding away on purpose.

Above him, he saw Jinyoung’s smirk as he figured out what his boyfriend was doing and then stop thrusting into him completely. Mark frowned and opened his mouth to complain but then Jinyoung pulled him back by his hips again and he smiled again. Loving the way that Jinyoung hit him at just the right angle. But then he didn’t go back to thrusting. Instead, he kept his grip on Mark’s hips and continued to slide him against the marble countertop. 

He was being used like a toy, but not in a bad way. Mark didn’t care at all as he felt Jinyoung’s hands bruise his skin and push him over and over onto him. It felt just as good, if not better and so Mark let his head tilt back in bliss.

One of Jinyoung’s hands left his hip and started to ghost over his body. He felt the hand come up his chest and slowly raise up. Mark felt Jinyoung’s fingers wrap around his neck, barely touching him and smiled. This is what he really wanted. “Yes, yes, yes.”

He grabbed onto Jinyoung’s arm, wanting to feel the muscles contract under the skin as his boyfriend’s fingers got tighter and tighter around his neck. It became harder to breathe but Mark loved it. He liked how every time Jinyoung would squeeze his neck, he could feel the power that Jinyoung had over him. 

Mark let his eyes roll back as he felt the pressure build up, knowing he was close. Jinyoung had complete control of him. Mark was being forcefully fucked onto his cock as Jinyoung controlled his breathing. His moans were becoming more constrained and the older tried to lay off and remove his hand. But Mark knew his limits so he held onto Jinyoung’s arm, letting him know that it was still okay. 

He was so close. All he could do was whimper, his moans getting stuck in his throat and vibrating through Jinyoung’s hand. Everything felt good to the point of overstimulation as Jinyoung started thrusting into him again, faster than before. 

Just when he thought there was nothing more that Jinyoung could do to him, he leaned down and started whispering into his ear, “Come for me, baby. I know you can be a good boy.”

If that wasn’t enough, Jinyoung put a hand around his length and started stroking him. It was a matter of seconds before Mark was spilling over his fingers. The brunette’s hand fell down from Jinyoung’s arm and the older pulled away to put both hands back onto Mark’s hips, thrusting into him erratically as he came. 

As soon as he finished, he was leaning over Mark and cupping his cheeks asking if he was okay. The rapper nodded and Jinyoung exhaled, “That was intense.”

Mark smiled, “I know, I liked it.”

“I didn’t know you were into that,” Jinyoung confessed. “Don’t get me wrong, it was super hot but I was scared I would hurt you. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Nodding again, Mark mumbled, “I’m totally fine.”

Jinyoung smiled down on him, “You get so tired after you come, it’s adorable. Do you want me to clean you up and then carry you to bed for a nap?”

The rapper’s eyes widened at the suggestion and shook his head, “No, I’m still hungry.”

“Of course you are,” His boyfriend just laughed at him, “I’m going to carry you to the couch and then bring the food to you when it it’s ready, okay?”

He mumbled okay as Jinyoung carefully put his underwear back on him, picked him up into his arms and then carried him to the couch. After he set him down, he pulled a blanket over Mark and kissed his hair softly.

“This feels an awful lot like you’re putting me to sleep,” Mark complained as he let it all happen to him, too tired to really put up any fight. 

His boyfriend only grinned, his eyes bright with affection and tenderness. “Fine, I’ll turn the tv on so you won’t fall asleep.”

After doing just that, Jinyoung handed him the remote and started to walk away when Mark grabbed his hand and looked up at him, “I love you.”

The producer kneeled down next to him and kissed his cheek, “I love you too.”

As he walked away, Mark turned his focus to the tv. He saw bright colors and grinned, “Fuck yeah, it’s Scooby Doo.”

He heard Jinyoung’s laugh in the kitchen and smiled to himself. He didn’t think he could ever be happier. His favorite childhood cartoon was playing, he was wrapped in a fluffy blanket, he had just had an amazing orgasm and his boyfriend was making him breakfast. Jinyoung didn’t even make fun of him when he came back and found Mark asleep on the couch. True love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was, um, a lot. hope I got everything you could have wanted, and if I missed something...let me know ;)
> 
> oh also I dropped my twitter like 5 chapters ago and never put it up again, it's still @peachjinyounq yay!


	8. together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright, this is it!
> 
> this is the epilogue of this little fic I decided to write on a whim. I loved hearing all of your thoughts on this story and I'm so glad that so many of you liked it. I felt like I wrote out of my comfort zone for so much of this, so thank you for sticking with me.
> 
> I hope you like the ending.

The two ended up messily taking a bath together after they finished their breakfast. Jinyoung led the younger into the bathroom and ran the water. He left the room to grab towels for him and his boyfriend so he hadn’t noticed the brunette taking the chance to look around. As it turned out, Mark found Jinyoung’s stash of bath bombs. 

Jinyoung had planned to just pick one out haphazardly but Mark apparently thought differently. 

“I didn’t know you liked baths this much,” The rapper said. His tone was questioning as if he was feeling Jinyoung out, looking for confirmation. 

“My sister gave me one for christmas a few years back and got me hooked,” Jinyoung replied with a shrug. He didn’t really take baths that often, despite what owning this many bath products would indicate. But when he did, the producer liked the changing colors and the soothing smells and the bombs were convenient for that.

Jinyoung was leaning up against the counter with the water roaring in the background as he watching the brunette meticulously pick up each one and sniff them. It made Jinyoung smile to see him at such peace. He had been worried that it would take a long time before the two were on the same page again.

He thought that he would have to earn Mark’s trust all over again, and in a sense he did. He could see the small ways that the rapper was testing him and Jinyoung expected to see many more of them, but still. He really hadn’t expected that just two days after he confessed, Mark would be standing in front of him almost naked in his bathroom without a care in the world. 

He wasn’t a fool, Jinyoung knew how lucky he was for Mark to forgive him so easily. But it was also heartwarming to know that the brunette had missed him just as much as Jinyoung had. When he told Mark that he would be dumber than dumb to ever leave him, he meant it entirely. 

Never in his life had Jinyoung met someone so amazing. Despite Mark’s stubbornness and cautious outer shell, he was so willing to love and be loved. Even if the brunette didn’t trust Jinyoung completely yet and was waiting for signs that Jinyoung hadn’t really meant his words and promises, Mark was still willing to try. 

His walls had been cracked and Jinyoung could tell how vulnerable it made Mark feel. Eventually, Jinyoung wanted to break those walls down completely. Sanding there watching his boyfriend just being himself without over thinking and looking for something to be wrong, Jinyoung felt a sense of pride. He hoped that Mark would continue to trust him like this.

The other must have felt Jinyoung’s stare as he glanced up from smelling a bath bomb and met his boyfriend’s eyes. His cheeks turned pink and his shoulders caved in slightly as he asked, “What?”

“Nothing,” The producer replied simply.

He grinned as Mark’s eyes narrowed and he watched as his boyfriend’s lips turned into their signature pout. Jinyoung had figured out what made Mark tick in what felt like ages ago. He knew just the right buttons to push and he was starting to think that the brunette was aware of that fact. 

Instead of letting Mark get feisty and demand an answer, Jinyoung supplied, “I was just thinking about how lucky I am to have you.”

Mark’s growing frown turned into a suspicious smirk as he said, “Really?”

“Mhm,” Jinyoung hummed in response, hooking an arm around his boyfriend’s hips and kissing his cheek. He nodded to the bath bomb in Mark’s hands, “Do you like that one?”

The rapper nodded as he leaned into Jinyoung’s touch and the older smiled. “You can put it in the water, if you’d like”

Jinyoung watched with warm eyes as Mark carefully set his choice into the bath. Over the past couple of days, he found that he liked observing the younger. He already knew that he liked seeing Mark’s expressions change and he definitely knew he liked making him blush, but being able to watch the rapper with ease was different. 

Jinyoung could see how Mark moved and the patterns he had. It made Jinyoung’s heart flutter to realize that he was becoming familiar with his boyfriend’s mannerisms and habits. He wanted to know everything about the brunette. 

Reaching over to turn off the water, the older suggested that Mark could get in if he wanted to. After he did, Jinyoung felt his boyfriend’s gaze as he took off his own clothes and got in. The producer met Mark’s eyes and smiled again when he saw the eagerness of his eyes but the hesitantness off his body posture. He was silently asking for something. 

Opening his legs, Jinyoung said, “Come here, baby.”

And that was all it took for Mark to climb between Jinyoung’s thighs and make himself comfortable. When Jinyoung was too slow, the brunette took both of his arms and wrapped them around himself. Once Mark was satisfied, he shifted to the side to lay his cheek against Jinyoung’s chest.

The whole ordeal was amusing, bordering on silly, but definitely adorable in Jinyoung’s mind. He squeezed the rapper closer to him and kissed his hair. The action felt like second nature at this point. 

He had done it often before but now that all of their affection was out in the open, Jinyoung couldn’t help himself. He wanted to show how loved Mark truly was and seeing the way the edges of the brunette’s lips turned up every time he did something like that was worth it. 

“Comfortable?” He asked, his fingers brushing soothingly over Mark’s arm.

Instead of getting a verbal answer, Mark only nodded. Jinyoung saw the younger’s hand searching for something and glanced down to see that Mark had closed his eyes. To make the search shorter, Jinyoung intertwined their fingers and felt his boyfriend smiling onto his chest in response. 

Mark took his hand and brought it close to him, just like he had been the last two nights. He didn’t fall asleep though, instead they talked about nothing in particular and enjoyed each other’s company until the water got too cold and Mark started complaining. To which, Jinyoung got out first and grabbed the biggest towel he had, wrapped his boyfriend in it and kissed his forehead for good measure. 

But Mark was still shivering. So Jinyoung faithfully dried him off and dressed him in the biggest hoodie he had. Feeling how big the hoodie was on him and how far over his hands the sleeves were, a big smile appeared on Mark’s face. 

“Your’s are always so big on you, I just thought…”

Shaking his head, Mark replied, “No I love that you remembered, thank you. I like it when you take care of me.”

Jinyoung cupped his boyfriend’s cheeks, kissed his lips and said, “I like it when you thank me.”

He remembered an exchange just like this one before but at that time it felt scary. Jinyoung remembered feeling vulnerable and too affectionate but this time it felt like just enough. He didn’t care about how much his heart was on his sleeve. He wanted Mark to know how much he liked him, how much he appreciated him. 

 

Eventually they had to part ways. After spending all day everyday together, the two had other friends and other responsibilities to see to. Jinyoung had blown off artists to stay at home with Mark. He ended up rescheduling with them a couple days later. But those couple days later came too fast.

Jinyoung spent all day recording while Mark spent the free time with his friends and writing songs. It felt weird being apart after being together for such a consecutive amount of time. A part of Jinyoung wondered if it was just a really long dream. Having Mark back and making it official between the two of them was too good to be true.

But a few hours after he left he got a cute picture of Mark eating lunch with Bambam and it struck him that this was reality. He sent one back and asked his boyfriend if he was having fun and Mark said yes and that he missed him. 

He must have been smiling too wide because the singer who had been going over their lyrics said, “Someone looks happy.”

She was one of his regulars and a friend. Jinyoung always liked working with her because the songs actually got done. When he worked with guys half the time they ended up fooling around. Jimin had tried to make a pass at him once but he assured her that he was very gay and instead of getting embarrassed or pushy, she just laughed and said, “Nevermind, then”. 

But more than that, Jinyoung thought she was funny. It was always fun working with her and that day had been no exception. 

“I am happy,” Jinyoung admitted. He hadn’t worked with her since he had met Mark, so it hit him that she had no idea.

“Any reason?” She asked and Jinyoung actually felt his cheeks warm. He wasn’t really the type to get embarrassed easily but there he was, pink cheeks and all. “Oh? Is it some boy? I thought you didn’t like to get attached.”

“I don’t,” Was his automatic response, but then he clarified. “Well, I didn’t.”

She sat back in the chair and put the lyrics on the desk, “What changed?”

Jinyoung could feel his blush deepen as he confessed, “I met someone.”

“By the way I hear it, you meet a lot of guys,” She said, emphasizing on ‘a lot’. 

He had never really been embarrassed by all the people he’d slept with over the years but now that he was committed to one person, it was almost uncomfortable to hear someone say that. “Yeah, but this isn’t just someone.”

She tilted her head to the side, looking like she was waiting for him to explain. 

“He’s my everything, Jimin,” He said. It felt weird saying to someone that wasn’t Mark. He had tried to explain it to Jaebum once but at that point he had thought he lost Mark forever, so it was a lot sadder of an explanation. 

“Everything?” She asked, looking a little surprised but more amused than anything. She didn’t seem like she believed him. And he deserved that. “I didn’t know you talked to guys long enough for them to become your everything.”

He shook his head, “I didn’t but he’s different, completely different.”

“Does this miracle man have a name?” Jimin said with a grin.

“Miracle man?” He laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

She shrugged, “I just never thought I’d hear about Park Jinyoung being so into someone.”

 

He frowned, wanting her to take him seriously, “Well, he’s more than just someone to me. And his name is Mark Tuan, you’ve probably heard of him actually.”

Her jaw dropped, but not because of the reason Jinyoung thought, “Mark Tuan the rapper? He’s gay, really? I’ve been hitting on him for months!” 

Jinyoung started laughing, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth, “I can’t believe you hit on my boyfriend. How did you not know he was into guys?”

“I thought he was just really shy!” She exclaimed. “I had no idea, I even gave him my number and everything!”

“When I see him tonight, I’m definitely going to tell him about this,” Jinyoung grinned as he shook his head. He couldn’t believe Jimin had really been hitting on Mark.

“Oh my god, no that’s so embarrassing, don’t do that,” She said, waving her hands like she was trying to stop him. After Jinyoung stopped laughing, she asked as if she suddenly processed what Jinyoung had said, “But you two are really dating? For how long?”

“Officially, a few days. But we’ve been seeing each other for a couple weeks,” Jinyoung explained. He didn’t really feel like going into the details, so that was good enough. 

“I’m very impressed, I honestly never thought I see you date anyone,” Jimin said. 

Jinyoung smiled to himself, he never thought so either. But Mark was something else. 

Later on, he texted Mark asking if he wanted to go to 76 that night and he got a reply saying yes and that Youngjae and Jaebum were going too. Jinyoung’s heart raced at the thought of seeing his boyfriend again. Upon realizing the reaction he gave to just a quick text, he grinned. He could get used to this feeling. 

Jinyoung ended up getting to the club first and sat in his usual spot. Not even a minute later, Jackson came along and sat next to him, “Coming back alone? I kind of thought you and Mark would have gotten back together.”

His voice was sympathetic but blunt, it was something Jinyoung appreciated. But thankfully, Jackson was wrong. Jinyoung smiled and said, “We did, he’s just meeting me here.”

The blonde’s eyes lit up, “You did?”

“Mhm,” Jinyoung hummed as movement caught his eye. All of a sudden he had a lap full of Mark. He felt Mark’s hand settle on his shoulders and looked up to see his boyfriend smiling down on him. 

Jinyoung moved his hands to Mark’s hips, trailing one up his side and said, “Hi, I missed you.”

The brunette grinned as he leaned down so their noses were touching, “I missed you too.”

Putting a hand along Mark’s jaw, Jinyoung connected their lips happily. It was just a chaste kiss but Jinyoung’s stomach still fluttered. Having Mark near made everything better, like somehow the colors were brighter and the air more breathable. 

Still on top of him, the rapper turned to look at the other person on the couch, “Hi Jackson.”

Mark’s oversized flannel fell off his shoulder, exposing more skin. Jinyoung couldn’t take his eyes off of him. The brunette was radiant, and that wasn’t just because he was showing a lot more skin than usual. 

Usually Mark bundled up in large hoodies and big shirts, but in that moment he only wore a flannel and a very loose, exposing tank top. It was paired with Mark’s usual ripped jeans that Jinyoung adored, mostly because he loved sneaking his hands under the rips and playing with them. He had been lucky thus far that the brunette didn’t seem to mind.

Jackson had been looking between at Mark with wide eyes and Jinyoung found it amusing. 

“Oh sorry, have you two met?” The producer said with a gleam in his eyes, obviously knowing the answer. He kissed Mark’s jaw and said, “This is my boyfriend, Mark.”

Finally, Jackson tore his eyes away to glance at Jinyoung, “Is he yours? I couldn’t tell with all the marks you left on him.”

Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows and looked back at a blushing Mark. He had forgotten about all the hickeys and bites that littered his boyfriend’s neck and chest. Some were older, moving onto the yellowing phase rather than the fresh purple and reds that were from that morning. 

While he wasn’t embarrassed like his boyfriend was, Jinyoung felt instinctive to challenge the blonde rapper. Maybe to get a rise out of him, who knew. But he maintained eye contact with Jackson and kissed along the side of Mark’s neck, “What marks? I don’t see any.”

The other rapper rolled his eyes and huffed, “So this is how it’s going to be, huh? I tell you one time that I would have made a pass at Mark and now I’m going to pay for it forever...”

That caught the brunette’s ear, “You would have what?”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” Jackson assured with a friendly smile, knowing his defeat when he saw it. “I’m happy for you two. I hope Jinyoung doesn’t fuck up again, but if he does…”

Jinyoung’s gaze hardened into a glare and Jackson flinched and put his hands up in surrender.

“It was a joke!”

He knew Jackson really was only joking. The blonde and him had started talking one night that Jinyoung had came to 76 alone in hopes that Mark would show up.

Jackson was a good friend, not as good as Jaebum but that was only because Jinyoung had known him longer. But Jaebum hadn’t been there that night and Jackson had. Most of the other guys at the club avoided him, rightfully so in Jinyoung’s opinion, but the blonde was too nice. 

“You look like you’re thinking hard,” Jackson had said, handing Jinyoung a new drink and the younger nodded in thanks. “Whatcha thinking about?”

Jinyoung gave him a long look, they both had known exactly what was on his mind. But it wasn’t a what, it was a who. 

Nodding, Jackson exhaled, “Yeah, I thought so. You fucked up pretty bad with him.”

“You don’t think I already knew that?” Jinyoung bit back, regretting it immediately. He took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry, it’s just killing me.”

“I can see that,” Jackson replied, raising his eyebrows at Jinyoung’s less than put together appearance. “Have you tried talking to him?”

Sighing, Jinyoung ran his fingers through his hair for what seemed like the millionth time that day. “I text him everyday just trying to get him to talk to me. Jaebum says that he’s not doing well and that Youngjae won’t let him reply to me.”

“Ah,” Jackson said, sipping his drink. “I saw that firsthand. Youngjae seems very protective of him, but I mean, I get it. If someone did what you did to my friends…”

The blonde shook his head and gripped his drink tighter, his jaw squared before he turned to Jinyoung and said, “No offense.”

But Jinyoung put his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes, “No, full offense. I was a dick. More than a dick, I was a fucking asshole and I know it.”

“I wasn’t going to say it, but hey! At least you accept it, isn’t that one of the 12 steps of grieving or something?” Jackson said, as cheerful and bright eyed as ever. Jinyoung smiled, he was glad there was at least some positivity in his life.

“Something like that.”

Jackson bumped his shoulder with a fist, “Well then you’re on the right track! You’re not giving up are you?”

“No,” Jinyoung said with a sad shake of the head. “I don’t know if I could. I can’t stop thinking about him. Like, I’m the one who wronged him but here I am feeling like shit.”

Listening patiently, Jackson nodded his head in thought. After a moment, he turned to look at Jinyoung, “And you’re sure it’s not just guilt?”

The producer set his drink down, “I fucking wish.”

“Then you have to keep trying,” Jackson said firmly. He nodded, but more in a way that seemed like he was confirming to himself. “If you, Park Jinyoung of all people, feel this strongly for someone then you can’t stop trying to talk to him. You just have to do something that makes him want to listen.”

“Why are you trying to help me?” Jinyoung asked earnestly. Everyone else seemed to want Mark as far away from him as possible but here was Jackson trying to do the opposite.

“Well, you weren’t the only one who thought he was cute,” The blonde said with a smile. Jinyoung felt his skin set ablaze at the thought of anyone else sneaking themselves into Mark’s heart and his face must have shown it because Jackson just laughed. “Don’t worry, I backed off because I knew you’d want him more. And I was right, you two were so good together.”

The younger sighed at the statement. They had been good together, if only Jinyoung had stopped worrying about pretenses and labels, he would have seen that. What he had with Mark was special, the brunette made him feel like time didn’t exist. 

Every moment with Mark was worth a hundred moments with anyone else. He had been happy, truly happy. Jinyoung would do anything to have that back. If he did, there wasn’t a thing in the world that would stop Jinyoung from keeping him forever.

“So I guess if I at least try to help you, I won’t feel so bad going after Mark later.”

Jackson was smiling, but Jinyoung’s expression was murderous. 

Instead of finding the younger intimidating, Jackson laughed and pat Jinyoung on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’m totally kidding.” But Jinyoung’s expression barely changed. “What? You don’t have jokes in total heartbreak depressed world?”

At that, Jinyoung couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“There it is! I knew you could smile!” The rapper congratulated him. “But in all seriousness, I know you can get him back if you tried. You belong together.”

That night Jinyoung had gone home and thought about what Jackson had said, taking it all in. The next day Jaebum had said something similar, but about writing. Even though Jaebum had been talking about moving on, looking back, Jinyoung saw how Jaebum had been silently rooting for him too.

Remembering that moment only made the one in front of him more special. Mark had slid off his lap after Jackson had left to talk to someone who just walked in. The brunette had grabbed his hand and started playing with his fingers. But it wasn’t the affectionate touch or the way they were sitting that had Jinyoung smiling, it was the way that Mark was looking at him. The younger kept sneaking little glances, looking up from Jinyoung’s hand and the look on his face was mesmerising.

To anyone else it might have been nothing, but for Jinyoung who could feel his heart beating contently to the sound of Mark’s voice telling a story about an ice cream shop back where he grew up, it was everything. The way that the younger’s eyes sparkled with special kind of softness reserved just for Jinyoung, or the way that his lips pulled away from his teeth into a smile that radiated warmth and comfort. It was something that Jinyoung hoped he could see forever. 

Something he would want to be familiar with but never used to. He wanted to continue to be this amazed and in wonder of with this beautiful boy that somehow stumbled into his heart. 

The night passed in the way that it always had, Jinyoung finding out more about Mark and Youngjae throwing in embarrassing stories to annoy his best friend while Jaebum looked on in contentment. The producer had just made a comment on Mark’s love for superheroes which had the brunette laughing and leaning into him. Jinyoung pulled his boyfriend in closer and kissed his hair but saw someone move in front of them.

His smile fell when he saw one of his one night stands was looking down at him expectantly. Jinyoung struggled to remember the guy’s name, the last time he saw him was months ago and he didn’t know why he was here now. Mark moved to look up at Jinyoung as the older had stilled.

“I came to see if you were busy tonight but I can see that you are,” The guy nodded to Mark and Jinyoung knew that the younger was looking between them, trying to understand what was going on. “But that’s fine, I’m patient. I can wait until tomorrow when you’re done with him.”

Jinyoung felt a flame ignite, his protectiveness coming to life within him. He didn’t like how this guy talked about Mark, as if he didn’t mean anything. His lips parted to reply with something probably too harsh for the situation but the guy held up his hand to stop him.

 

“Oh please, Jinyoung,” He said with a self satisfied smile. “Don’t give him false hope, we all know you’re just going to leave without a trace tomorrow. It’s not like he doesn’t know what you’re like.”

Gritting his teeth, Jinyoung said, “Maybe that’s what I did with you, but that’s sure as hell not what I’ll do with Mark.”

The man looked unphased by his words and instead just sighed. “You don’t have to keep up the facade that you actually care about the guy. We all know what you’re after, but luckily I want the same thing. So what do you say? Tomorrow?”

Mark squeezed his hand, he wanted to know what was going on. He wanted reassurance. Jinyoung squeezed his hand back and calmed down. “I’m busy tomorrow.”

“Fine, next week?” He rebutted, looking bored.

But Jinyoung shook his head, “You can keep asking but I’ll keep being busy.”

The guy rolled his eyes, “Jinyoung seriously, I would have just texted you if I knew you’d be this difficult. I didn’t know you had gotten so protective over the guys you fucked.”

He felt the flame spreading and couldn’t hold his words back. Jinyoung didn’t really feel like this guy deserved any sort of explanation but clearly he didn’t understand how rejection worked. 

He felt his tone get sharper as he said, “Mark isn’t just some guy. Will I go home with him tonight? Probably. Will I sleep with him? If he wants. But I’ll do that tomorrow and the day after that and the week after that and the month after that. Because he’s my boyfriend.”

Unlike words before, these ones finally seemed to hit the mark. The guy furrowed his eyebrows, “You’ve got to be shitting me.”

Jinyoung just shook his head. 

“You’re fucking serious? You’re choosing this scrawny guy over me? We had sex for like 4 hours straight!”

Mark flinched at that comment and Jinyoung wrapped his arm around him and said, “So? Sex is just sex, what I have with Mark is more than that. I’d much rather trust and love someone than just fuck them.”

The guy looked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, he kept shaking his head. “I thought you and I were the same but I can see you’ve gone soft. I bet you’re not even that good anymore with those creepy domestic thoughts floating around in your confused head.”

That was when Mark finally spoke up, “Funny, because it seems like the only one confused here is you.”

Jinyoung grinned at his boyfriend’s prevalence, proud of him for sticking up for himself.

The one night stand scoffed and started to leave and Mark said, “And for the record, he’s amazing. Probably better than he ever was with you.” 

Jinyoung just flat out started laughing once the guy was out of sight, “Babe I can’t believe you said that.”

“Am I wrong?” Mark said, one eyebrow raised as if he was waiting for Jinyoung to say otherwise. 

The producer kissed his cheek and said, “No, not at all.”

Mark smiled and said, “So anyways, Spiderman is better than the Hulk, but Iron Man is better than…”

And he went off on another tangent. Jinyoung noticed Jaebum looking at him out of the corner of his eye. Jaebum gave him a nod and Jinyoung took that as approval. His best friend had never seen Jinyoung turn down sex before, so he must have been happily surprised at the interaction he just witnessed. 

But to Jinyoung it felt like nothing. In hindsight, it was probably monumental, but in the moment Jinyoung just wanted the guy to leave so he could keep listening to Mark ramble. That and he hated the idea of anyone insulting Mark. That probably had something to do with it.

 

 

The position he was in was perfect. Jinyoung had his boyfriend’s face in their pillows and was holding Mark’s hips up as he slammed into them. He could feel the bed move underneath them but he wasn’t about to stop. Hearing the sounds coming out of Mark and feeling the way that his body responded to his touch would have been heaven.

But it wasn’t. Jinyoung glanced at the clock on his bedside table and felt another wave of worry crash over him. He only had 20 minutes until he needed to be at his studio with a client. He wouldn’t be in this position if it wasn’t for his needy boyfriend. 

Mark had pulled him back to bed when Jinyoung said he needy to get ready to leave. 

“Please?” The brunette had used his worse trick against Jinyoung and the younger knew it. His eyes were all big and glossy from just waking up and his voice was small and begging. “It’ll only take five minutes, I promise.”

That was well over 30 minutes ago. But then again, Jinyoung was a push over and he always gave into Mark’s advances. Always. And unfortunately, his boyfriend knew that too. 

So here he was, pounding into rapper below him. Thankfully, Jinyoung knew Mark was close. He could feel it with how limp his boyfriend was, the only thing holding his ass up was Jinyoung’s hands on his hips. He saw how Mark was gripping the bedsheets and knew it was only a matter of minutes. 

But a matter of minutes that he didn’t really have time for. He still had to shower and get dressed. Jinyoung didn’t think his client would appreciate him showing up smelling like sex, but then again, maybe if the guy was weird he wouldn’t mind. Jinyoung shook his head at his thoughts. No, he really did have to shower and at this point, he was running out of time. He had already sacrificed eating, the shower was a necessity. 

Looking at the clock again, Jinyoung winced. Time was ticking by and he knew had to finish Mark off fast. 

Changing his angle, Jinyoung moved to make sure he was hitting his boyfriend’s prostate dead on at ever thrust. He heard the change in Mark’s voice and smiled.

“You sound so good, baby boy,” Jinyoung said. He felt the way Mark tightened around him, it was slight but he knew that the younger loved being praised. “Can you be a good boy for me and come when I tell you too?”

“Mhm,” He heard Mark murmur.

“What was that, baby?” With the time that he had left, Jinyoung really shouldn’t have challenged Mark. But he usually did and the last thing Jinyoung wanted was for his boyfriend to think he was trying to rush this. 

So when the response was immediate, he smiled. “Yes, I can do that.”

Jinyoung adjusted himself slightly before thrusting faster and saw Mark’s knuckles whiten as his grip tightened. He figured all Mark needed now was just some extra praise and this would all be over soon.

“I love you so much, you’re always so good for me,” Jinyoung said, feeling his own orgasm starting to bubble up. He heard Mark whimper in response and said, “Yeah, just like that, baby.”

Mark moaned louder and all Jinyoung had to say was, “Come.”

He didn’t have to see it to know that his boyfriend was spilling onto the sheets below him. He could feel it with the way that Mark tightened around his cock and how loud he was being.

“Good boy,” Was all Jinyoung could get out before his own orgasm hit him. 

After a few seconds, Jinyoung laid on his back and picked Mark up so that his upper half was on Jinyoung. He let his boyfriend wrap his arm around his chest and nuzzle his face into his neck because Jinyoung knew that even if it did take well over 30 minutes, Jinyoung had tired his boyfriend out well. 

It was barely a minute later before Mark was fast asleep on his chest. He waited another minute or so to slide off the bed. That might have been to catch his breath or to make sure Mark was truly asleep but either way it didn’t matter. 

Once he was up, he couldn’t get into the shower faster if he tried. He didn’t even wash his hair, it wasn’t like he had anytime to dry it. They were well into winter now and Jinyoung didn’t really fancy the idea of walking through the cold with wet hair. He got out of the shower and barely dried himself off before putting on clothes.

He walked over to Mark to kiss him goodbye but realized he had forgotten to clean off his sleeping boyfriend. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled as he took his towel and ran it under warm water. 

Returning to the bed, he saw his own cum dripped down his boyfriend’s thighs and sighed. If he would had remembered earlier, this wouldn’t have been such a mess. He gently wiped it all away and then wrapped the sheets around the brunette to keep him warm until he woke up.

After kissing Mark’s cheek, Jinyoung wrote a quick note that said, “Going to the studio, make sure to eat breakfast. There’s strawberries in the fridge, love you” and put it on the pillow next to the rapper to see. 

Finally, he left his apartment. Looking down at his watch, Jinyoung saw that he had two minutes left and sighed. At least it was only a five minute walk, hopefully his client wouldn’t mind. It was then that Jinyoung realized that he had forgotten who he was supposed to meet entirely.

Usually he liked to be at his studio before his clients did so he could set everything up and to go over what they were going to do. Not today, though. Jinyoung didn’t even have time to grab coffee. Which he frowned at as he walked by his usual coffee shop, smelling the air as someone opened the door. He even saw his favorite danishes in the display case. But no, he couldn’t be more late than he already was.

Arriving at the door of his studio, Jinyoung saw familiar blonde hair, “Jackson! I’m sorry I’m late.”

The rapper pulled him into a hug and beamed at him, “It’s all good! Just a little unlike you.”

Jinyoung smiled sheepishly, “Unfortunately, it’s becoming the norm. You can ask Jaebum, him and Youngjae are always getting on me about it.”

The producer unlocked the door and walked through, holding it open for Jackson behind him. With a raised eyebrow, Jackson asked, “That wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain someone who stole your heart months ago, would it?”

The older grinned, “You ask as if everything in my life doesn’t have to do with Mark.”

Jackson sat down at the desk and laughed, “Okay, you’re right. But what does he do? Ask for a million kisses before he lets you leave?”

Thinking back, Jinyoung smiled, “He has done that before, actually.”

“Really?” The blonde asked, his eyes wide. Jackson, for some reason, loved hearing about his friend’s love lives. He practically died when Jaebum and Youngjae moved in together. 

But it was true. About a month prior, Jinyoung had to leave to go to lunch with someone and Mark grabbed his hand as Jinyoung walked towards the front door. Jinyoung turned to face his boyfriend with a soft smile and asked, “What? Don’t want me to leave?”

The brunette had pouted and made sure his eyes looked as big as possible while he complained, “You came home late last night.”

It was true, Jinyoung had lost track of time writing a song the night before. But what really got him was that Mark had called this apartment home. It was Jinyoung’s, not his. While the two often traded off which apartment they slept at, they still had their own places. The thought that Mark considered Jinyoung’s apartment home made his heart swell. 

“I know and I’m sorry,” Jinyoung apologized sincerely. “But I was there when you woke up.”

That was his goal, if he wasn’t there to go to sleep next to him then at least he was there to wake up with him. Jaebum made fun of him, saying that they were practically married already. 

Mark stepped forward and placed his arms around Jinyoung’s shoulders. “I didn’t get my goodnight kiss.”

Rolling his eyes, Jinyoung asked, “And I suppose you want that now?”

Grinning, Mark nodded. The older didn’t miss how his eyes sparkled when Jinyoung spoke. He felt like he fell harder for the brunette day after day.

He leaned in and gave a quick peck to Mark’s lips. He moved to turn away towards the door again but the rapper didn’t release his grip. Jinyoung raised his eyebrow in silent question.

“What about my good morning kiss?”

Jinyoung smiled, finding this ridiculous. “Babe, I already did that today.”

But his words were not met with a smile. Mark only jutted out his bottom lip further and Jinyoung gave in.

“What about the kiss you always give me in the shower?” 

Shaking his head, Jinyoung wondered if Mark was going to go through their whole routine. He hoped not because he really did have to go. So he didn’t give a chaste kiss this time, instead he held the brunette’s jaw and kissed him like he meant it. 

After a few seconds he pulled back and saw Mark’s eyes shining with affection. He thought that was going to be it but the younger beat him to it. “And the kiss you give me after we make breakfast?”

As it turned out, Mark really was going through this. Jinyoung gave him another longer kiss, his lips lingering for a few more seconds before pulling back. He really tried to move away that time but Mark wouldn’t budge. “Okay fine, what about my goodbye kiss?”

Jinyoung grinned and teased, “What about it?”

He saw how Mark’s shoulders sagged as he asked, “Well, don’t I get one?”

“Of course you do,” Jinyoung replied, cupping his boyfriend’s face with both hands. “Do you know why?”

Mark shook his head and the older grinned. He moved to kiss Mark’s cheek, “Because,” and then to his temple, “I”, and on to kiss his forehead, “Love,” to his other temple, “You,” and his cheek, “So,” and on the tip of his nose, “Much.”

He grinned at Mark’s expression. It looked like a mixture of pouting that he didn’t get a real kiss but still happy with all the attention Jinyoung was giving him. Mark lifted his chin as if he was asking for his lips to be kissed too and the older smiled and gave in. 

 

Turning to Jackson with a smile, Jinyoung said, “Yeah, but usually he wants more than just a kiss.”

The blonde wiggled his eyebrows and asked, “And I’m guessing today was more than a kiss?”

Thinking back to only 20 minutes prior, Jinyoung nodded, “Definitely more than a kiss.”

“So you’re telling me that I had to wait in the cold for a whole three minutes because Mark couldn’t handle not getting your dick every 5 seconds?” Jackson asked, pretending to be upset as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Jinyoung deadpanned, “If it was only for 5 seconds, I wouldn’t have been late.”

“Man, you two are worse than Jaebum and Youngjae,” Jackson said as he shook his head. “But still, I’m glad you found someone.”

Jackson handed out compliments like candy, but itl felt nice to hear from one of his friends. 

“Especially someone like Mark,” The blonde continued. “Do you think you would have settled down for anyone else?”

Jinyoung thought for a second before saying, “No, probably not.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jackson replied and Jinyoung was surprised. “You needed someone with as high of a sex drive as you.”

Jinyoung groaned. If had a pillow, he definitely would have hit Jackson with it but lucky for the blonde, everything on his desk was too expensive to throw.

“What?” The rapper asked, his eyes wide and smile even wider. “It’s true!”

“Whatever,” Jinyoung said as he rolled his eyes. “Anyways, what are we working on today?”

 

Jinyoung had just gotten home. It was around noon, he just came back from a meeting with his company. About six months prior, he was approached with an offer to be an in house producer for some big record company. Jinyoung had wanted to say no but Mark bugged him about for days before he finally gave in.

He didn’t like the idea of all of his creative content being owned by someone else. But they told Jinyoung that he could have complete free range to write whatever he wanted. And that he could still work with his usual clients, he just had to prioritize their artists first. It wasn’t that hard, seeing as some of his friends and clients signed to that company a few months earlier. And he got paid more. 

That was always nice. 

Especially since Mark ate so much. Jinyoung didn’t really see how much Mark ate before they moved in together. They spent a lot of time together sure, but things were just different once people move in together. So Jinyoung felt like he was always going to the grocery store after work. 

Not that he minded. He noticed most of Mark’s weird quirks before they moved in together. Like how Mark liked to leave the TV on when he wrote. And how he always waited until the very last second to do laundry. And how he insisted on buying orange juice even though he almost never drank it and how Jinyoung always had to finish the carton for him before it went bad.

Living with Mark wasn’t always a breeze, they fought every now and then. But all couples did. Jinyoung only fucked up bad enough to have to sleep on the couch once, and that was because he didn’t agree that Harry Potter was a better movie franchise than Star Wars. Looking back, calling Harry “that weird wizard boy with a stick” probably wasn’t the best thing to say. But he woke up with Mark in his arms anyways.

That was the thing with them. Their fights were silly and fizzed out soon. Jinyoung only managed to piss Mark off a number of times, usually when he worked too much or was late to their dates because of a client. But Mark always forgave him. It was almost like clock work now. 

Jinyoung could predict with ease exactly when Mark was going to forgive him by how many times Mark sighed. Three sighs and Jinyoung would have to wait an hour. Six sighs and Jinyoung would have to wait a few. More than ten meant groveling and lots of pancakes. Which usually led to amazing make up sex. Neither of them really minded that. 

He walked into their bedroom and heard the shower on, Mark must have just gotten out of bed. Jinyoung made sure to kiss him good morning and to tell him when he was going to be home. Mark always liked to know where he was. It was comforting to have someone that worried about him. To have someone who wanted to be with him always. 

Jinyoung put away his jacket and sat on their bed, waiting for his boyfriend to come out of the shower. It was only a few minutes later when he heard the water shut off and the door to their shower open. 

His boyfriend walked out to their bedroom with a towel over his head as he dried off his hair with his head down. As soon as he looked up, his lips blossomed into a smile and he practically jumped into Jinyoung’s lap and hugged him.

“I thought you weren’t going to be home until late,” Mark said.

Mark’s damp hair tickled Jinyoung’s skin as he said, “I thought I was going to be recording songs with that new girl but the company decided to wait until tomorrow. Something about scheduling, I guess.”

“Working for a company seems so dumb,” Mark commented, nuzzling his face into Jinyoung’s skin. 

“Yeah, says you who just signed with a record label,” Jinyoung said with a smirk. 

He felt his boyfriend smile and say, “That barely counts, Jaebum is the one who owns it.”

About two years ago, Jaebum had started working towards his goal of owning his own label. That was one of the reasons why he hung out at 76 so often. He was looking for talent. About 6 months ago, he finally launched it. The label hit it off pretty fast and even though the guys at 76 were well known in the underground, they had started to get mainstream acknowledgment little by little. 

Mark, like Jinyoung, had been against joining it at first. But after featuring on so many songs with the other rappers on the label, listeners started to think that Mark was a part of the crew anyways. He never denied it so he didn’t have much ground to stand on when Jaebum asked him again if he wanted to join. With Jinyoung’s encouragement, Mark said yes.

Nothing really ended up changing except that more people started to pay attention to and listen to Mark’s songs. It made him happy to see his fanbase grow, even though it still felt weird calling it a fanbase. He rapped for fun and while it did pay his bills, he never thought of the people who listened to his songs as fans. 

Jinyoung’s sleeves were soaked as they held Mark close to him. “You’re getting me all wet.”

“Then take off your clothes.”

The producer laughed and said, “Wow, I’m home for two minutes and you’re already coming on to me.”

He felt Mark’s low rumble of a laugh and smiled, “I meant so that your clothes wouldn’t get wet.”

“Somehow I feel like a better solution would be to just dry you off properly,” Jinyoung said as he grabbed the forgotten towel on the bed and started wiping away all the water droplets on Mark’s skin.

The brunette let him as he closed his eyes and enjoyed his boyfriend surrounding him. Jinyoung made him get up so that he could dry off Mark’s lower half, much to Mark’s dismay. “You can get back into my lap as soon as I’m done, I just don’t want you to get cold.”

And sure enough, as soon as Jinyoung was done, Mark was straddling him again. But this time, Jinyoung put his cheek against Mark’s bare chest and the brunette wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders. One of his hands started playing with his hair lazily. 

They sat there quietly for a few moments before Jinyoung said, “You know, your heart beat changed.”

Mark’s embrace loosened to look at Jinyoung’s face, “What do you mean?”

Jinyoung hummed and said, “When we first met, it was beating so quickly. You were like a little hummingbird, I thought your heart was going to pound out of your chest.”

He looked up to see a pink blush rising on Mark’s cheeks, “You made me nervous. I was so unsure of you.”

Part of Jinyoung wanted grin, loving knowing how his presence affected Mark but the other wanted to frown. He didn’t like the person he was when he first met Mark. He didn’t like how he treated him. He didn’t like that he only wanted to get to know him enough to fuck him. It wasn’t right and he regretted that decision so much. 

“Rightfully so, my love,” Jinyoung said, a hint of regret in his soft voice. He reached up to brush a strand of Mark’s fringe out of his eye and said, “But once we confessed to each other, your heartbeat stopped beating as fast. When you woke up that first morning, it was beating like crazy and the second you realized I was there it slowed down.”

The brunette was looking him with curiosity. “What does it feel like now?”

Jinyoung hugged him close and listened carefully. He had to really focus to hear it because it was so slow these days. But he heard the signature badum……….badum………..badum and smiled to himself.

“Slow, very slow but steady,” Jinyoung answered, looking back up to meet his boyfriend’s wondering eyes. “It gradually got slower little by little but in the last year it’s slowed down so much that a couple times I got worried that you stopped breathing.”

Mark smiled at this comment and said, “I didn’t notice that at all.”

Jinyoung hummed in response, brushing his thumb against his boyfriend’s cheek. “It took me a little to get why this was happening but I think I finally understood once your heartbeat got to this point. Can you think of anything that happened about a year ago?”

He watched Mark’s brows furrow together and then ease as his eyes brightened, “We moved in together.”

Nodding, Jinyoung said, “I think that’s when you finally trusted me completely.”

The brunette’s expression turned to confusion, “But I’ve always trusted you.”

Jinyoung understood that Mark meant that he trusted him ever since they started dating but he also knew that what Mark was saying was not entirely truthful. “You trusted me, but not really. It wasn’t until we moved in together that you let your guard down completely. Don’t think I forgot all the times you would go to bed before I would even come over because you didn’t think I’d even show up.” 

He watched as Mark’s cheeks tinted again, looking bashful. “I was tired…”

“You didn’t want to be disappointed again,” Jinyoung replied plainly. 

In their first month or so of dating, whenever Jinyoung ran into a client or some guy he knew before Mark, his boyfriend would slowly try to edge himself out of the conversation and leave but Jinyoung saw what he was doing and made sure to make Mark feel important. 

Mark trusted him, Jinyoung knew that. But every once in a while Mark would get insecure and do things like that. It made Jinyoung’s heart sink because just when he thought that he finally showed Mark how much he cares about and loves only him, the brunette would put his guard back up. 

It went on like that for months until it finally these moments happened less and less until they completely stopped happening once they moved in together. It was a milestone for Jinyoung as he never thought that he would ever care enough for another person to want to spend his every waking moment with someone. But as he always said, Mark was different. 

 

Mark avoided his eyes and it confirmed Jinyoung’s suspicions. “It hurt but I knew I deserved it.”

“I’m sorry,” It barely came out as a whisper. Mark looked regretful.

But Jinyoung only smiled, “It’s okay, baby. I know you trust me now.” He put his hand over his boyfriend’s chest. “I can feel it.”

Mark mirrored him, putting his own hand over Jinyoung’s heart and smiled, “Yours is slow too.”

“And it always has been,” Jinyoung replied. “I love you, Mark.”

He saw his boyfriend’s eyes turn soft and warm the way they always did when Jinyoung said those three little words. “I love you too.”

The brunette leaned down to kiss him and let their lips move together languidly. They had all the time in the world. Jinyoung enjoyed these little moments where he got to just slow down with Mark. Lately they’ve been so busy with work that they only saw each other at night and in the mornings. 

He had been looking for a little, sentimental moment like this for a while now. Jinyoung felt his heart pick up it’s pace as he considered something. Was this the right time? Mark’s lips felt so good against his. It would only take a second but shouldn’t he have thought this out more?

He had been trying to plan a moment like this for months. But their schedule didn’t meet up enough for them to really go on dates. And even when they did, one of them was so tired that neither wanted to anything big. A lot of late night milkshake runs and watching movies at home and seeing Jaebum and Youngjae at 76. But nothing fancy. 

Jinyoung had wanted something fancy. He wanted to show Mark how serious he was about him. But he has been doing that. Little by little. And the brunette took note. He trusted him completely, and had for a while now. That was enough wasn’t it? There didn't need to be some grand showcase, right?

He weighed his options, thoughts racing when Mark broke the kiss, “Is something wrong?” His eyes searched Jinyoung’s. “You’re heart is going wild.”

As Jinyoung looked into those beautiful brown eyes, his conscious shut down. All thoughts ceased to exist. Nothing mattered but Mark. All he ever wanted was for them to be together. And even though Mark was naked with wet hair sitting in his lap at 1:30 in the afternoon, Jinyoung felt like it was right.

“Will you marry me?”

Mark’s pupils dilated and his lips parted. Jinyoung could feel Mark’s hand still in his hair. From the moment he started speaking to the second the words were out, it felt like time just stopped. All he felt was his heart thumping in his chest and Mark’s skin under his fingertips. 

All he saw was Mark’s blown eyes slowly creasing until they were completely glazed over in happiness and matched the smile that grew across his face. It was like everything was in slow motion until Jinyoung felt those familiar lips attacking his and arms tightening around his neck. Time went from barely moving to moving in hyper speed. 

Mark was still kissing him in fervour but Jinyoung’s heart was going to beat out of his chest if he didn’t get answer. Was the kissing a good sign? Or a bad sign? Was it an excited kiss or a kiss to distract Jinyoung from the question he just asked?

Either way, he needed to know. He broke away and for a second Mark tried to reconnect their lips but his eyes refocused on Jinyoung’s worried ones and it seemed to hit him, “Oh shit, I forgot to say yes.”

And that broke the anxious spell that Jinyoung was under. He started laughing and Mark hit his shoulder. “Hey! It’s easy to forget! I’ve never done this before!”

Jinyoung tried to cover his mouth to get himself to stop laughing as hard, “You only have to do one thing! How could you forget?” 

Mark narrowed his eyes and said, “Fine.”

For a second Jinyoung feared he had actually offended his maybe fiance until he was pushed back on the bed and attacked yet again with kisses. This time between every kiss was a “yes”. Mark kissed all over his face and Jinyoung grinned, amused and content.

The brunette pulled back and looked down at Jinyoung, “Happy?”

And Jinyoung brought his hand to cup Mark’s jaw and said, “I’ve never been happier in my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took a while because i tried to include everything anyone could possibly want lol 
> 
> I hope it didn't disappoint :)
> 
> let me know how you feel now that this story is finished
> 
> my twitter is @peachjinyounq

**Author's Note:**

> please comment to let me know what you thought~


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